Pray Network Forum

We all go through painful experiences of one kind or another, and how we handle life’s adversities will have a lot to do in determining our character and our destiny. The intriguing story of Jabez reveals how our pain can be transformed as we lay hold of God’s promises:

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers; and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” Jabez called upon the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm so that it might not bring me pain!” And God granted what he asked (1 Chronicles 4:9-10 ESV).

Too often, people assume that their upbringing inevitably determines their destiny. But Jabez knew otherwise. Right from the beginning, we see that he stood out from the crowd, and he was “more honorable” even than his own brothers.

However, as we read about Jabez’ life, we realize his life got off to a rough start. It seemed like the cards were stacked against him. His birth was so painful that “his mother called his name Jabez”—derived from the Hebrew word for pain.

Perhaps you can relate to Jabez’ story at this point. Your parents probably didn’t name you “a Pain”—at least not formally! But let’s be honest: Sometimes parents, siblings, peers, pastors, or employers send us negative messages about our identity…who we are. Or maybe there was a bully in your neighborhood who said you were too skinny…too fat…too ugly…too short…or too stupid.

There’s an old saying that is totally false. I’m sure you’ve heard it: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That truth is just the opposite: We can recover from sticks and stones and even broken bones—but people’s words often cause us a lifetime of hurt.

That’s how Jabez’ story begins: with pain…with rejection from the very people who should have shown him the most love and acceptance. But the good news is that Jabez wasn’t content to wallow in his situation. He rejected the labels put on him by his detractors, choosing instead to seek God for a new identity…a new purpose…and a new destiny.

How did your story begin in its early chapters? Perhaps you had a wonderful, loving family that cared for you and nurtured you all along the way. But I meet so many people today who have had an experience more like Jabez.

So what did Jabez do to break free from the negative labels that threatened to bind him to a life of failure or mediocrity? The text says, “Jabez called upon the God of Israel.” If you are going to break free from people’s opinions about you, you must cry out for HIGHER opinion—the opinion of Almighty God. In the end, it’s really just HIS opinion that maters, isn’t it? When you stand before Him in eternity, the bullies and naysayers won’t be there to tear you down. The only thing that will matter will be hear His beautiful words of affirmation, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

We’re specifically told that he called upon “the God of Israel.” This doesn’t just mean he was calling upon the God of the nation of Israel. No, Jabez was calling upon the God of JACOB—the patriarch whose name was changed by God to ISRAEL.

Do you see why this is significant? Jacob had a pretty dysfunctional childhood, and his own brother seemed intent on killing him. And just like Jabez, Jacob had been given a rather negative name—Jacob, the “supplanter” or “usurper.” And up until the point when Jacob’s name was changed, he had lived up to his negative name, becoming an opportunistic scoundrel and deceiver.

But after Jacob wrestled all night with God in Genesis 32:22-29, the Lord changed his name to Israel, which meant “Triumphant with God” or “Prince with God.”

You see, Jabez knew the story of Jacob well. He saw how God had transformed Jacob from being a PAIN to being a PRINCE. And Jabez called on the “God of Israel (Jacob)” to do the same for him.

Perhaps you need a name change today…a new identity. God can take your PAIN and make you a PRINCE or PRINCESS. He can take your FAILURES and give you a glorious FUTURE. But you have a role to play. You must cry out to Him, like Jabez did. You may even need to wrestle with Him, as Jacob did. But don’t let go until you have a new name…a fresh start…a new beginning.

And I want you to notice that Jabez asked God to give him several specific things. This is an important lesson for us, because sometimes our prayers and our plans are too vague and undefined. I encourage you today to be specific about what you are asking God for. Specific prayer requests will bring specific answers!

Jabez first requested of the Lord, “Oh that you would bless me.” God wants to bless YOU, my friend! So go ahead, like Jabez, and ASK Him to bless you.

The second thing Jabez asked is that God would “enlarge his border.” In the same way, God wants to enlarge you today. He wants to give you bigger dreams…higher vision…more audacious plans.

But think of how incredible this prayer request must have been for Jabez, the man who was labeled a pain and a loser. He could have curled up in a ball and wallowed in his victimhood, but instead he did just the opposite. He called on God to enlarge his territory and give him greater responsibilities and impact.

So what about YOU? Is there some area of your life that you need God to enlarge? Your career…your finances…your health…your relationships…your ministry…your vision? Today can be your first step in asking God for an INCREASE that will change your entire trajectory in life.

Jabez’ next request was that “God’s hand” would be upon his life. This expressed Jabez’ recognition that he needed GOD’S FAVOR in order to accomplish his life’s PURPOSE. This is so important for you to see: In order to escape from any painful experiences that would hold you back from your destiny, you need God’s favor.

Jabez’ final request was that God would keep from harm—from the things that would cause pain, either to himself or the people around him. Jabez was a man of great faith, but he also was a realist. He understood that he had received a legacy of pain and dysfunction, and the natural thing would be to continue that legacy in his own life. It’s no secret that people in pain tend to cause pain to others. People who have been abused often become abusers. Children of alcoholics and addicts too often follow in their parents footsteps.

But Jabez knew the negative patterns must STOP! He had been called a pain, but that’s not how he wanted to treat others.

This passage about Jabez ends with a beautiful conclusion: “And God granted what he asked.” I love happy endings, don’t you? Just as God did in the life of Jabez, He has planned a happy ending for YOU!

  Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. ^[1]

Psalm 37:4 is a particular treasure for every believer. Have you discovered wonders as you have thought about this verse this week? I would like to hear what you discovered. Last week I focused on choosing to delight. Now I want you to see that this verse calls us to delight in the Lord Himself.

DELIGHT IN THE PERSON OF THE LORD.

We ought to rejoice in His majesty. We should rejoice in His mighty power. We should rejoice in His holiness. We should rejoice in His wonderful Grace. You have sung God Is So Good, haven’t you? He is good and gracious and lovely and majestic. He is wonderful!

DELIGHT IN THE PURPOSE OF THE LORD.

Have you ever thought what a great privilege it is for God to reveal His will to you? You may say, “But I do not know God’s will for my life.” You do not know all of it. But you know something that is God’s will for you. And as you obey what He has already shown you, He will show you more.

DELIGHT IN THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD.

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God dwells in your life. What is more, when we gather together as believers He is present in our fellowship. Can you imagine how the disciples felt when Jesus first appeared to them? They were locked in the upper room for fear of the authorities who had crucified Jesus when the Lord appeared in their midst. He is with us when we gather as believers. And the Holy Spirit dwelling in you ministers to me, and visa-versa. We celebrate together in His glorious presence!”

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http://daveswatch.com/

Recently my wife and I started watching the Fringe TV series on Netflix. The fictional show deals with unexplained supernatural and technological occurrences investigated by the FBI’s “fringe science” division. It turns out that many of the grisly events have been caused by a collision of parallel universes and alternate timelines.

      Having watched several seasons of Fringe, I can’t help but think of a pivotal but rarely discussed passage in Job 26:14: “Behold, these are the fringes of His ways; and how faint a word we hear of Him!”

      After years of feeling the smug satisfaction of knowing he was an exceptionally upright and virtuous man, Job finally understood an awful truth: Although he had been doing all the right “religious” things, he was only on the outer edges of God’s plan for his life. Instead of having an intimate daily relationship with the Lord, he was only hearing God’s voice faintly and sporadically.

      During the climactic final scene of Job’s story, he admits to the Lord, “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You; therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5-6).

      People always wonder why Job had to go through such horrendous trials. Part of the answer is simply this: God wouldn’t allow Job to remain on the fringes.

      The Lord wanted to bless Job in new ways, beyond his wildest dreams. Yet none of that was possible if Job was content to stay on the fringes. He already had been blessed with great wealth, but God had a far greater dimension of abundance in mind for Job.

      There have been many times in my Christian life when I languished on the fringes of God’s ways. Perhaps you have too. Often when we’re on the fringes, we don’t even know it.

      Until the heat was on, Job didn’t have a clue about his true condition or what he was missing. He had fallen into the common trap of comparing himself to those around him, instead of comparing himself to God’s holiness. He was content to be “the greatest of all the people of the East” instead of great in God’s kingdom (Job 1:1-3).

      Just as in the Fringe series, Job’s ordeal stemmed from a collision of universes or kingdoms. God versus Satan. Good versus evil. Relationship versus religion. The judgmental assumptions of his friends versus God’s ultimate plan to bless him.

      But amid this horrific collision, God was working all things together for Job’s good (Romans 8:28). If it hadn’t been for his trials, Job might have never discovered he was living on the fringe.

      However, there’s a major difference between Fringe and the Bible. In the TV series, exciting “paranormal” events happen on the “fringe” of human experience. In contrast, when believers are content to stay on the fringe in their relationship with God, the exact opposite is true—life is boring and there’s little, if any, experience of the supernatural. A life on the fringe is a bland, powerless, and unfulfilling existence.

      Aren’t you tired of living on the fringes of God’s purposes? I am.

      It’s time to dive in and go deeper in your relationship with the Lord. Yes, you may experience turbulent and disturbing collisions between parallel kingdoms at times, but that’s where the fun is. It’s in the center of God’s will that you will find peace, satisfaction, and fruitfulness.

I’ve recently been captivated by the story of Jesus turning water into wine (John 2:1-11). I’ve concluded that we all have “water” of some kind that needs to be transformed into wine.

Water is an essential, elemental part of life. But in this story it also stands for the plain, the ordinary, and the bland. Wine, in contrast, has flavor and fizz. Jesus said this kind of wine must be put into “new wineskins,” because it is needs room to expand and grow.

Take a second and ponder what boring, bland parts of your life may be due for a transformation like this. Your job? Your ministry? Your marriage? Your relationship with the Lord?

The good news is that Jesus can turn ordinary things into something extraordinary. If you’ve lost your fizz in some area of your life, He can help you get it back. And if you’ve been stagnating instead of expanding and growing, your turnaround can be closer than you think.

But transformation comes with a price. Jesus’ mother told the servants at the wedding feast, “Whatever He says to you, do it” (v. 5). I guarantee that if you follow this profound advice, your water will surely be turned into wine.

But it’s a pretty radical statement, isn’t it? Are you willing to do WHATEVER He tells you to do? Think about it. That’s the price of transforming your circumstances and your life.

The wedding feast “ran out of wine” (v. 2), and perhaps that’s how you’re feeling today as well. You had money…but it ran out. You had love…but now it seems to be gone. You had dreams…but somehow they evaporated or turned into nightmares.

 At such times, it’s easy to feel frustrated or disillusioned. “I never thought it would be this way,” you moan. That’s exactly how the people at the wedding feast must have felt when they ran out of wine.

But the story isn’t over yet…or at least it doesn’t have to be.

No wine? No problem! All you have to do is find out what Jesus is telling you to do. More often than not, He will tell you to give Him something you HAVE (like water) in order to get something you NEED (like wine). Sounds fairly simple, doesn’t it?

So what do you have today, and what do you need? Like exchanging water for wine, I promise you it will be a great exchange indeed.

Those who taste the newly made “wine” in your life may well be like the master of the feast, who “did not know where it came from” (v. 9). They’ll wonder where you got such peace, joy, and zest for life, even amid difficult times. What a great chance to tell them about Jesus, the one who can turn their water into wine too.

If you’re a Baby Boomer like me, you may have been tempted to feel that life has passed you by and your best years are now behind you. But this story ends with some additional good news. Jesus didn’t just replace the old wine with something new: He saved the BEST for LAST! (v. 10) He can do the same for you, when you do what He says and give Him what you have.

Being old has its benefits. And I don’t just mean the senior coffees at McDonalds.

I’m old enough to know that “what goes around comes around,” and King Solomon had it right when he observed that “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). History really does have a habit of repeating itself, particularly if we fail to learn its lessons the first time around.

But recently I’ve come to appreciate another benefit of having lived awhile: I’ve seen that God is a skilled Artist who delights in “connecting the dots” in our lives. Perhaps you haven’t lived long enough to see this fantastic divine pattern yet, but I believe you will in time.

By “dots,” I mean whatever experiences, events, relationships, successes, failures, pains, or pleasures you’ve encountered during your life. Some of these dots you’ve no doubt categorized as “bad,” and other ones you’ve probably described as “good.” And if you’re anything like me, many of the dots in life simply seem random—without any apparent purpose…making absolutely no sense at the time.

Yet I have good news for you today—news so good you probably will find it hard to believe: As time goes by during your life, the Lord will increasingly connect the dots and reveal an intricate, well-planned masterpiece. Yes, He’ll connect even the dots that once made no sense. And if all the dots still don’t seem to be perfectly connected by the end of your earthly life, He will surely finish the job in eternity.

By the time God gets done with His handiwork, EVERY dot will be connected, and NOTHING will be wasted. He will find a use even for your most painful dots or and the events you considered your greatest failures.

You see, the Bible has been right all along when it told us that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Read that one more time. It doesn’t say just SOME thing work together for good—it says “ALL THINGS!”

Now take a few minutes to consider some of the “dots” you wish you could erase from your life. Believe it or not, God can do something good even with those painful or ugly dots. In the next few weeks, I’ll be launching an e-book on preventing, surviving and recovering from church splits. Sad to say, I’m one of the world’s foremost experts on the subject—but the Lord is going to use my painful and unwanted experiences to help thousands of pastors who are dealing with such things in their own churches.

And if you still doubt God’s ability to turn around tragic events and use them for His purposes, consider King David. I’m sure he wished he could erase his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband Uriah (see Psalm 51). But Bathsheba ultimately gave birth to Solomon, and she ended up in the family lineage of Jesus, the Messiah! (Matthew 1:6) God is great in mercy, isn’t He?

And in case you think God only loves you or offers you His favor when you are “good,” let me share one more connect-the-dots illustration.

Although I’ve never been much of a stargazer or astronomer, the Big Dipper is one constellation that’s always blessed and intrigued me. First of all, note that it’s not a “dipper” at all until you connect the dots of the various stars.

But what amazes me about the Big Dipper is that it’s continually tilted in such a way as to pour out its contents. My friend, that’s exactly how God wants you to see His love and favor for you. It’s not something that comes and goes, nor is it so fragile that it can easily be lost. In fact, Paul assured us that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God…nothing (Romans 8:28).

So take heart today. Nothing has happened in your life that is too awful for God to forgive or to redeem for His glory. Go ahead and give Him the dots—all of them—and you’ll be amazed by the beautiful tapestry He’ll produce.

"If crises or grocery lists are the motivation for our prayers, we will be woefully inconsistent.  Ultimately our prayers should not be spurred simply by our circumstances, but by His character."

"He is Worthy! We Are Needy!"

Peter Lord, one of my heroes and mentors in prayer, often says, “Most Christians pray out of crisis or from a grocery list.”  His wisdom reveals not only the reality of our prayer behavior, but the flaw in our mindset and motivation in prayer. 

Crisis and Grocery List

Crisis praying is certainly focused in the right direction.  When we are in urgent situations we should look to the Lord.  Psalm 34:6 says, “This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.”  However, when the primary and sporadic motivation of our heart for prayer is triggered by the pain of our circumstances, we have reduced God to a heavenly rescue squad that exists chiefly for our emergencies.

Grocery list prayer, while very common, is an approach to God that stems from our persuasion that prayer exists for us to inform Him about our problems, hoping He will order the universe according to our expectations.  These expectations are usually rooted in our desire to avoid suffering or difficulty.  God is reduced to a heavenly vending machine that exists for our temporal satisfaction.

The Model Prayer

Over the years I have taught on the model prayer Jesus prescribed in Matthew 6:9-13 (often described as “The Lord’s Prayer”).  Sometimes the series has been deep and thorough, taking 10-12 weeks to complete.  On other occasions, I have reduced the teaching to a one-sermon summary.  Recently, I was asked to teach on this model prayer at a church in Calgary and was impressed that the prayer can be reduced to two primary ideas: 1) He is worthy, and 2) We are needy.  

He is Worthy

The model prayer is essentially divided into two parts.  The first segment is entirely Godward in focus.  When we pray, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.  Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” we are exalting God.  We are declaring His worth.  As John MacArthur notes, "This is a prayer that in every phase and every petition, beginning and closing and all in between focuses on God.  His person, His attributes, and His wonderful works are the thrust of this prayer.”

We Are Needy

The second segment is a declaration of God as our source.  We recognize and declare that we are needy.  In prayer we resolve that we trust Him for our physical, relational, and moral needs.  “Give us this day our daily bread (physical), and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors (relational), and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one (moral)."  

Consistent Motivation

Every believer has experienced the confluence of positive surges and negative declines in prayer.  Our motivation can wane and wander into the weeds.  If crises or grocery lists are the motivation for our prayers, we will be woefully inconsistent.  Ultimately our prayers should not be spurred simply by our circumstances, but by His character. 

Jesus wants us to experience consistency in our spiritual pursuit in prayer.  A daily conviction that He is worthy and we are needy provides a pure and passionate motivation in prayer.  One person may make a seven-figure income, live in a multi-million dollar home, and have perfect health – but He is still worthy and that person is still needy.  Another person may be jobless, homeless, and friendless.  God is still worthy and that person is still needy.  One person is young, another is old.  One person is a seasoned Christian while another is a brand new believer.  He is still worthy and we are still needy.  The motivation never changes. 

The Ultimate Purpose

As we mature, we advance to fully embrace the ultimate aim of all of our prayers, fueling the depth of our motivation.  The model prayer says it clearly: “For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”  Prayer exists to advance His kingdom through our lives, exhibit His power in our lives, and extol His glory in everything.   

When Paul wrote his epistles from prison he relied on “prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:19).  His heart passion was clear when he wrote, “According to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain" (vv. 20-21).  This is the motivation of a clear-headed, pure-hearted, and eternally-focused Christ follower.

Motivation for a Lifetime and Beyond 

So when you wake up tomorrow morning feeling weary and discouraged, remember: He is worthy and you are needy.  Pray.  When you come home from a hard day at work, exhausted and frustrated – and you are not in the mood to attend the prayer meeting – remember: He is worthy and you are needy.  Pray.  When things are going smoothly and life is feeling problem-free, remember: He is worthy and you are needy.  Pray. 

One day when we stand in His presence among the saints of all the ages and myriads of worshiping angels, we will still declare that He is worthy.  “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!" (Revelation 5:12).  We will even then continue to rejoice that we encountered Him when we were needy. “For You were slain, and have redeemed us to God by Your blood out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation” (Revelation 5:9).  All things will consummate in His glory.  “Blessing and honor and glory and power be to Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, forever and ever!" (Revelation 5:13). 

With all this in mind, let’s pray the right way, for the right reason, and for the right purpose.  We will be encouraged, equipped, and empowered to live as true disciples in this world as we consistently grow to know Him and make Him known.

Copyright © 2012 Daniel Henderson. All rights reserved.