Discipleship Network Forum

I recently gained an important spiritual insight from an unlikely source. I was listening to a radio program touting the benefits of a new weight-loss craze called the Ketogenic Diet.

The basic concept of the Ketogenic Diet is that you should only consume calories during 8 hours of the day, such as from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. The remaining 16 hours should be spent burning off the calories you’ve already consumed and the fat that’s already stored in your cells.

“Most of us Americans could live a long time just by burning our fat deposits,” the program host confidently pointed out. “Yet because we keep taking in more and more calories, the energy in those fat cells is never utilized.”

DISCLAIMER: This blog is not meant to be an endorsement of the Ketogenic Diet or any other approach to weight loss. I’m just exploring a similar spiritual principle.

Listening to this program, I was fascinated by the parallels between physical and spiritual obesity. Both conditions are the result of taking in more nourishment than we utilize. When we consume more food calories than we burn, the excess is stored as fat – and the same principle holds true when we consume an excess of spiritual calories.

Let me explain…

Me and Ezra

I’ve been a Christian a long time, ever since I was 18. I’ve heard countless sermons, listened to thousands of hours of Christian broadcasting, and read a myriad of books, magazines, and blogs. Not content to with secondhand spiritual nourishment, I’ve also spent a lot of time in personal Bible study.

I guess you could say I’ve been well nourished spiritually. For the most part, that’s a good thing, because I’ve met many Christians who seem malnourished and stunted in their spiritual development. Maybe they’ve been born again, but they’ve never learned the importance of receiving and digesting the truths of God’s Word.

So I’ve been blessed by the spiritual nutrition I’ve received.  

Nevertheless, I’m troubled by the fact that much of the spiritual input I’ve received has never been implemented. I can quote a lot of Bible verses I’m still not walking in, and that’s a problem: It’s a prescription for becoming spiritually fat without becoming spiritually strong.

In contrast, Ezra is a great example of a Biblical leader who practiced “ketogenic” spirituality. Look at this beautiful description of his life:

Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the Lord, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel (Ezra 7:10 ESV).

Notice the 3 key verbs in this passage: STUDY…DO…TEACH. All 3 are necessary for well-rounded discipleship, yet very few of us are following Ezra’s model.  

If we study (or listen to sermons) without doing and teaching, we will inevitably become spiritually flabby. But if we study with a commitment to put the lessons into practice and then pass them on to others, we’ll become spiritually strong, and our life will have great impact.

One of the reasons Jesus taught with such authority was that He not only had studied the Scriptures, but He also had put them into practice. In the same way, people will only respond to our teaching to the degree in which we’ve first implemented the teachings in our own life.

Fallow Ground

In addition to Ezra 7:10, I’ve found myself convicted by another Bible passage lately:

Sow for yourselves righteousness;
Reap in mercy;
Break up your fallow ground,
For it is time to seek the Lord,
Till He comes and rains righteousness on you (Hosea 10:12 NKJV).  

What does it mean that we must break up our “fallow ground”? NIV translates this “unplowed ground,” while NLT says “hard ground.”

I picture this as fertile ground God has given us, but which we’ve never taken time to plow and develop. Like the unutilized calories described in the Ketogenic Diet, we’re sitting on untapped potential.

So let’s get personal: What are some things God has given you, but which are currently lying dormant and unproductive?

Here are a few examples to consider:

• Spiritual gifts or natural aptitudes you’re not doing anything with. Peter warned that God has gifted you, and you’re called to USE your spiritual gifts to serve others (1 Peter 4:10).
• Excess money in your savings account or retirement fund that could be invested for Kingdom purposes. It would be tragic to follow the example of the fearful servant who chose to bury the resources his master had entrusted to him (Matthew 25:14-30).
• A God-given dream for an invention or business you’ve never set in motion. A vision that isn’t written down or communicated to others is simply hot air, worthless in making an impact (Habakkuk 2:1-3).

It’s time to start burning your spiritual fat reserves!

My 3-Year Plan

Here’s the backstory on why I’m so grieved about this issue of unplowed ground and unutilized vision…

God recently brought to my attention that I have written more than 8 books that no one has ever read. And that’s not counting several smaller booklets that are already completed, nor the books I’ve started but never finished.

Do you see how horrible this is? Much of the “ground” God has entrusted to me still hasn’t been plowed and put into production.

This is unacceptable…even sinful! In the next 3 years, I must do everything I can to break up my fallow ground and utilize these resources the Lord has put in my hands.

Perhaps you noticed that Hosea 10:12 not only issues a challenge for us to seek the Lord, break up our unutilized ground, and sow seeds. It also contains a wonderful promise, that if we do those things, He will send us rain and grant us an abundant harvest.

So what are we waiting for?

In my case, time is already ticking on my 3-year plan. Like any good plan, it will never come to pass without focus on my part and favor on God’s part.  

What is God calling YOU to do in the next few years? If you hear His voice, today’s a great day to get started toward your legacy (Hebrews 3:14-15).

The most fulfilling journey in life is the path of a person who has an intimate relationship with God, and who faithfully follows Him. Is it the easiest path to walk? No. Is it the inside track to popularity? No. But is it the inside track to joy? Yes, for eternal reasons.

Step one, for any person who yearns to experience this journey (i.e., a “disciple”), starts at the cross of Jesus Christ (John 3:16). It includes genuine conviction, humble repentance, and new loyalty. It is more than salvation from “the wages of sin”; it is also birth into a new family—with that family’s new purposes and new responsibilities,

But what are good “next steps” of this journey into joy? A short answer is that the disciple commits to learning and becoming. “Learning” includes growing in our knowledge. For example, God tells us in 2 Peter 3:18 to “grow in the . . . knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

 “Learning” also includes developing our skill as a disciple. For example, 2 Timothy 2:15 reminds us, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman . . . who correctly handles the word of truth.” As a woodcrafter skillfully wields tools of that trade to create wooden works of art, a disciple of Jesus Christ develops and applies skill in Bible study and in teaching or preaching to present God’s Word correctly and effectively to others.

But note this: The disciple who focuses only on growing in knowledge and skill will collapse—fail—sooner or later. Why? Here is a formula for failure:

Knowledge + Skill – Character => Collapse

Think of five people who experienced failure in ministry, whose stories you know well enough to understand basically what went wrong. Were those failures related mostly to a lack of that person’s knowledge? Unlikely. A lack of skill? Unlikely. As a seminary president once commented to me, “When any of our graduates fail in ministry, it is almost never for lack of knowledge or skill. It is almost always for lack of Christlike character.”

So what matters most to God in a disciple? Does He care most about that person’s knowledge—even knowledge about the Bible? No. Does He care most about that person’s skill—even skill in witnessing to others? No. Does He care most about that disciple’s use of spiritual gifts? No.

Please know this well: God says that a disciple’s knowledge, skill, and use of spiritual giftedness are very important. His Word consistently encourages His followers to grow in those areas of spiritual and practical life.

But 1 Corinthians 13 presents what matters most to God in His disciple. God is love (1 John 4:8). His steadfast love permeates all He is and all He does. In His eyes, this is the foundational reality on which a disciple must build, or risk eventual collapse.

What matters most to God is that His love in that disciple’s heart reflects outward to others; it permeates all that the disciple is and does. The evidence of His love in that disciple will be character, showing in that person’s Christlike kindness, humility, thankfulness, integrity, and other qualities that characterize Jesus Christ.

We were born to worship (1 Peter 4:10–11). Put that together with 1 Corinthians 13, and we have a better understanding of the fulfilling journey into joy that God graciously gives His followers: Our walk with God is our greatest witness to the work of God—and our worship of God.

We may also express that path in a heart-nourishing formula:

Knowledge + Skill + Character => Worship

Alleluia!

© 2018 John C Garmo

No accounting was required from the construction supervisors, because they were honest and faithful workers.

2 Kings 12:15 NLT

The basis of credibility is integrity. Trustworthiness hinges on truth. Supervisors of Temple repairs were uncompromisingly honest, so no accounting was required of their expenditure of funds. They gave clear evidence of reliability, so normal accounting procedures were waived. They acted faithfully, so they were not required to account for the money entrusted to them.

My uncommon policy of honesty is superior to the commonplace policy of deception. Blood of Truth redeemed you from dishonesty. As your Supervisor, I demand veracity in business dealings with others. My scales are absolutely accurate—they weigh your deepest thoughts. I measure true feelings, placing My tape around your heart.

I check to see if your ethical standards measure up to heaven’s. I care about honesty in the workplace. Your vocation is to honor Me in everything you do—report to work on time, give a full day’s work for a full day’s pay, above all be transparent and honest in everything you do. You represent Me to coworkers, so do your best for heaven’s sake!

It is senseless to attempt a cover-up of dishonesty. Your life is an open book before My eyes. Someday you will give an account of your actions and attitudes to Me. Does contemplating your appointment with Me make you nervous? Does the idea of standing in My Holy Presence make you feel you might be embarrassed by the way you have lived? Even if you do not live truthfully now, one day you will tell Me the truth—does this fact make you want to change the way you do business? There is still time to make adjustments. Get serious!

Be very careful how you manage the building project of your life. Renovate rooms of your character that have fallen into disrepair. Replace dilapidated walls of lies with strong buttresses of truthfulness. Keep a close eye on policies and procedures; watch your p’s and q’s—then no one will have to check up on you, and you will not have to hang your head in shame when I conduct your performance evaluation. In view of the sobering reality of your interview with your Boss, let Me teach you to be totally honest.

Honesty is not just the best policy—as far as I am concerned, honesty is the only one!

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

Jehu paid no attention to walking in the law of the Lord, the God of Israel, with all his heart.

2 Kings 10:31 THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE

A graph of your spiritual course would show a recurring pattern of three steps forward, two steps backward, three steps forward. Sometimes you are half-hearted in your commitment to Me; at  other times your heart is undivided in devotion. The anonymous poet could have been describing your own fickleness: “Coward and wayward and weak, I change with the changing sky; today so eager and brave, tomorrow not caring to try.”

You mirror Jehu. You go from being careful to being careless. You are often more concerned with externalities than what matters most. You are sometimes beside yourself about how you look to others, worrying more about your reputation than your character. Decrying others’ shortcomings, you neglect to wage holy war against your own sins. In the process, you miss the victory celebration.

Jehu-like, you are an iconoclast and idolater simultaneously. You get all fired up about straightening other people out, then worship the golden calves of convenience yourself. You are good at leading crusades to recover holy land from people you consider pagans, yet you yourself fail to live in the holy land of the broken heart.

You make a big deal about devoting yourself to heaven’s service—then turn around and disobey Me! Not fully committed to your King, you refuse to give up honoring false gods of your heart. Conducting inquisitions to root out heresy and heretics, you yourself miss the Truth right under your eyes in My Word and so miss the personal joy of a transformed life.

Let Me remind you that your relationship to Me is more important than anything in the world.

Let Me encourage you to spend more time scouring greed and self-indulgence from inside the cup of your life, and less time trying to impress others with gleaming superficialities.

Do more than follow the letter of My law—be My servant.

Do not be content with busy work—passionately serve Me.

I love you with all My heart. Is that the way you will love Me?

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

Jehu paid no attention to walking in the law of the Lord, the God of Israel, with all his heart.

2 Kings 10:31 THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE

A graph of your spiritual course would show a recurring pattern of three steps forward, two steps backward, three steps forward. Sometimes you are half-hearted in your commitment to Me; at  other times your heart is undivided in devotion. The anonymous poet could have been describing your own fickleness: “Coward and wayward and weak, I change with the changing sky; today so eager and brave, tomorrow not caring to try.”

You mirror Jehu. You go from being careful to being careless. You are often more concerned with externalities than what matters most. You are sometimes beside yourself about how you look to others, worrying more about your reputation than your character. Decrying others’ shortcomings, you neglect to wage holy war against your own sins. In the process, you miss the victory celebration.

Jehu-like, you are an iconoclast and idolater simultaneously. You get all fired up about straightening other people out, then worship the golden calves of convenience yourself. You are good at leading crusades to recover holy land from people you consider pagans, yet you yourself fail to live in the holy land of the broken heart.

You make a big deal about devoting yourself to heaven’s service—then turn around and disobey Me! Not fully committed to your King, you refuse to give up honoring false gods of your heart. Conducting inquisitions to root out heresy and heretics, you yourself miss the Truth right under your eyes in My Word and so miss the personal joy of a transformed life.

Let Me remind you that your relationship to Me is more important than anything in the world.

Let Me encourage you to spend more time scouring greed and self-indulgence from inside the cup of your life, and less time trying to impress others with gleaming superficialities.

Do more than follow the letter of My law—be My servant.

Do not be content with busy work—passionately serve Me.

I love you with all My heart. Is that the way you will love Me?

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

Let’s make a little room for him on the roof and furnish it with a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp.

Then he will have a place to stay whenever he comes by.

2 Kings 4:10 NLT

I am your Shepherd—All You Ever Really Need in life. Since you have unlocked heaven’s treasure chest with faith’s key, personal relationship to the Infinite One guarantees plentiful resources. My supply standard is not your idea of enough, but My generous heart. I am your Host providing cordial reception, taking care of room and board—and more. I always welcome you and treat you as My honored guest.

You have Me to thank for shelter. Whatever your address, I am your Home. Because I am the Architect and Builder of your life, your home is fit for a King. I put a roof over your head in regal fashion. I am your Shelter in devastating high winds, Hiding Place in fearful thunderstorms, and High Ground in catastrophic flash floods.

You have Me to thank for sleep. After a tiring day of work, I let you rest in serene green meadows and sleep beside peaceful streams. My Spirit sings you to sleep with a lullaby of love, keeps you safe through the night, and wakes you up to a brand new day of possibility. Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man had no home of His own. Yet I always provide for you a comfortable bed at day’s end.

You have Me to thank for sustenance. I satisfy the hunger and thirst of all living things. I prepare a feast to renew your strength, in full view of your spiritual enemies. I set your table with far more than enough to keep body and soul together. I reserve a place at My table especially for you—there is no need to go hungry. Do not wring your hands about your next meal—today’s manna will be provided in the morning.

You have Me to thank for support. When life’s battle wears you out, I invite you to take a seat and relax. Your resting place will not always be an easy chair, and it will rarely be a recliner; sometimes it will be a straight-backed plain chair. But I promise to provide what you need right when you need it.

You have Me to thank for Scripture. My Word is a lamp in the lonely night to encourage you, and a flashlight to help you make your way through the dark world.

You live in a world that can be inhospitable, yet Love unfailingly accompanies you. Until you live forever with Me in My house, enjoy My perfect hospitality! I give you good things now—and I am saving the best for later.

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

With four seconds left in the game and trailing the Saints, 24-23, Vikings quarterback Case Keenum lofted a desperation pass to Stefon Diggs near the New Orleans 35-yard line. After Diggs went high in the air to snag the pass, coaches yelled at him to get out of bounds so the Vikings could attempt a last-second field goal.

But Diggs disregarded his coaches. When no one tackled him, he decided to head for the end zone instead of going out of bounds. In one of the most amazing finishes in NFL playoff history, he went untouched to a 61-yard touchdown as time expired.

If you didn’t see the play, you may want to check it out on YouTube.

After the game, Case Keenum said it was the third happiest day of his life – behind the day he gave his life to Jesus Christ and the day he married his wife.

Pretty cool…

Yet I was even more struck by something Stefon Diggs said after the game, as he fought back tears of joy and disbelief. “My coach believed in me…my quarterback believed in me…and God believed in me,” he explained.

I don’t know much about Stefon’s background. But reading between the lines, I wondered if he was implying that his coach, his quarterback, and God were the ONLY three who really believed in him!

Most of us have faced some naysayers along the way, and it’s a powerful experience when you know someone truly believes in you.

That’s why one of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 7:16, where the apostle Paul writes, “I rejoice that I have confidence in you in everything.” Although most people have never given much thought to this verse, it contains a life-changing principle, especially when you realize who Paul was writing to.

You see, the Corinthians were his “problem church.” Paul’s letters reveal that they were seriously divided, with factions supporting various human leaders. They also argued about spiritual gifts, meat offered to idols, and even Jesus’ resurrection. The squabbles were so intense that the Corinthians were taking each other to court before the city’s secular magistrates.

Even the Lord’s Supper had become a problem. While it was supposed to be a unifying practice in the church, it has become a travesty in Corinth, a total embarrassment. Meanwhile, the church was tolerating blatant immorality among its members, and no one was doing anything to confront the misdeeds.

If all this dysfunction wasn’t enough, Paul realized that many of the Corinthians no longer respected his leadership – even though he had been used by God to bring them the Gospel.

How would you handle a church like this?

Even though you or I may have been tempted to just knock the dust off our feet and have nothing further to do with the Corinthian believers, Paul had a quite different approach…

“I rejoice that I have confidence in you in everything.”

Doesn’t that sound ludicrous based on the condition of these wayward Christians? Well, yes, it sounds pretty crazy…unless you understand one of Paul’s most important leadership secrets: His confidence in the Corinthians was based upon His confidence in the Lord.

“Such confidence we have through Christ TOWARD GOD” (2 Corinthians 3:4 NASB).

Is there someone today you’re struggling to have confidence in? Perhaps you’ve lost hope that anything will ever change with your spouse, a son or daughter, or someone in your church or workplace.

We’ve all come to that place at one time or another, losing hope that those around us will ever change. And to be honest, sometimes they don’t change.

However, the basis of Paul’s secret was his confidence that God would answer his prayers and turn things around in the people and situations that concerned him. For example, immediately after telling the Philippians of his constant prayers for them, he made this beautiful declaration of confidence in how they would turn out:

“I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6 NASB).

I can’t help wondering where Stefon Diggs would be today if someone didn’t believe in him. For that matter, where would you or I be if God hadn’t sent friends and mentors to encourage us and believe in us?

Perhaps you’re struggling today, feeling like no one expects you to succeed. Maybe your parents, your spouse, your children, your friends, or your boss have expressed their displeasure and their doubts – and perhaps you don’t even believe in yourself.

If so, remember Paul’s message to the Corinthians. While things didn’t look very good on the surface, he bet on God to turn things around and complete the work He started.

Even with only four seconds left on the clock, with God’s help you just might score the winning touchdown.

Introduction

My friend who read my prior book, Houston, we have a problem, concluded, “You recognize that   PROBLEMS are just OPPORTUNITIES in DISGUISE.” The apostle Paul was vulnerable enough to share his own problems with us in Romans 7:15-20 (MSG)  What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

Can you admit to similar “wretched man” and defeat feelings when comparing how you think, talk, and walk, to how Jesus did it? How are God’s resources working for you? If you’d like more victory in the alignment of your thinking, talking, and walking, with God’s resources, this book is for you! Welcome.

The basics of this book involve the benefits and “how to’s” regarding alignment of our spirit, will, mind and emotions with God and his ways. It’s not rocket science but it’s also not easy since it goes against the grain of our independent nature.

For an infinite, all-powerful, creative God to speak the universe into existence out of nothing is mind boggling, but that was easy, in my opinion, compared with the challenge of communicating with willful man in such a way as to motivate him to replace his own independent ways with God’s ways.

God is not limited in the ways he communicates with us. Examples include circumstances, events, both difficult and delightful situations, writings, dreams, and people. But his best communication is through the written and the living Word, because of the direct, clear message. God’s written word is alive and powerful, piercing even to the dividing of man’s soul and spirit and discerns even the thoughts and intentions of our heart. Amazingly 66 books from a variety of authors and geographies, consistently point to the central theme, Jesus Christ, the living Word. One of his majestic names is Emmanuel, i.e. God with us. John 1:18 AMP  No one has seen God [His essence, His divine nature] at any time; the [One and] only begotten God [that is, the unique Son] who is in the intimate presence of the Father, He has explained Him [and interpreted and revealed the awesome wonder of the Father]. 

John 16:14  VOICE  The Spirit of truth will come and guide you in all truth. He will not speak His own words to you; He will speak what He hears, revealing to you the things to come and bringing glory to Me. The Spirit has unlimited access to Me, to all that I possess and know, just as everything the Father has is Mine. That is the reason I am confident He will care for My own and reveal the path to you.

So this book intends to specifically apply communications from the living and written Word to encourage us in our alignment with God, giving growth and maturity, and enjoyment from thinking and living according to His ways.  So an alternate title for this book is. Learning to think God’s thoughts, talk His talk, and walk His walk, is a delightful experience.  Enjoy!

A great way to look at problems which crop up around us almost daily, is that they bring opportunities to grow and mature spiritually.  James carries it further, stating that these opportunities should cause us great joy, as we anticipate the fruit about to ripen in our expanding lives.  So let’s get started.  [email johnhoelzelsr@gmail.com; I'll email u the book.]

He took the cloak that had fallen from him and struck the water with it.

“Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?” he asked.

When he struck the water, it divided to the right and the left, and he crossed over.

2 Kings 2:14 NIV

I am the God of History—Lord of past, present, and future. Do you wonder where I am now? Do you feel I am long-ago-and-far-away dramatic headlines on old pages of yesterday’s news? Do you think of Me as merely an obsolete used to be, or the awesome I Am?

I am discoverable in your present situation. I have not changed from what I was to Abraham, Moses, Elijah, Isaiah, Daniel, John the Baptist, and Paul the apostle. I still challenge you to move in faith, revere My holy law, bravely confront evil, listen for whispers from heaven, surrender to My purpose, pray relentlessly, pave the way for Christ’s entry into human hearts, envision My Kingdom, and preach My Word from the pulpit of your personality.

I am the One Who Will Always Be Who I Have Always Been—Lord of Love. I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. I have not changed—have you? Take the cloak of history and strike the “uncrossable” river flowing before you, and you can go across to My magnificent future.

I am the God of Help—Lord of your strength. The fire of My power is still available to earnest seekers. Miracles are not just a thing of the past, never-to-be-repeated events of ages gone forever. If you cry out to Me with all your heart, you can expect supernatural assistance in your impossible situations. If you pray humbly and sincerely, I will listen and march to your rescue.

You are unable to resist temptation or serve Me on your own. In fact, without Me you can accomplish absolutely nothing. The wisest course of action is to stay near My throne—pleading for power to say no to sin and say yes to Me. Child of weakness, watch and pray—make Me your Center of Gravity and find in Me the strength you need to carry out My assignments and be ready for anything tomorrow brings.

I am the God of Holiness—Lord of transformed hearts. People wonder where the God of Elijah is; I wonder where the Elijahs of God are—unreservedly surrendered to Me, enthusiastically serving Me, boldly challenging others to radical decisions, wearing a prophet’s mantle, preaching a message that softens hearts and enriches relationships.

I promise you will find Me when you really mean business. Put your heart into the ultimate search—searching for God.

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

I’ve never spent much time thinking about Biblical numerology. But this year is different.

As we enter into 2018, I find myself thinking about the number “8” – God’s number of resurrection and new beginnings.

If you want a detailed explanation, I suggest a Google search. But here are a few simple observations:

• Since 7 is God’s number of completion, 8 starts a new cycle of things.
• Jesus rose from the dead on the first day of the week, which was the 8^th day from the start of the week He was crucified.
• Noah was the 8^th person to enter the ark, an event marking a whole new beginning for humankind.
• Even apart from Biblical events, the world recognizes 8 as a number signifying a fresh start. For example, a week contains 7 days, so the 8^th day is always the beginning of a new week. Likewise, musical octaves (from Latin octavus, meaning eighth) go from A to G (7 steps) before starting again at 8.

Perhaps you’re not very interested in Biblical numerology, but here’s a message that can be life-changing:

For many of us, 2018 could end up becoming “The Year of the 8^th Option.”

Let me explain, using the story in 1 Samuel 16 of how David was selected among 7 other options …

The chapter begins with the Lord telling the prophet Samuel to visit Jesse’s house to anoint one of his sons as the next king. Seeing Jesse’s oldest son, Eliab, Samuel immediately assumed this was the one he should anoint as king.

You and I might have jumped to the same conclusion, assuming that the first option was the best option. However, if we’re wise, we will heed the Lord’s warning to Samuel:

Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

Let’s be honest: We’ve all failed this test at one time or another. We’ve looked at the “outward appearance” of things instead of discerning God’s choice and matters of the heart. We’ve been so eager to resolve a matter that we didn’t wait for the best option to appear.

In many ways, this was how the previous king had been selected. Saul was tall and handsome, coming from a good family and seeming to have a servant’s heart. Yet the choice turned out to be disastrous. This time Samuel wanted to make sure they got things right, so he intently listened to God’s instructions.

One by one, Jesse paraded his sons before Samuel. After Eliab came Abinadab, Shammah, and 7 sons in all. He must have been shocked when the prophet informed him after seeing the first 7 options, “The Lord has not chosen these” (v. 10).

Perhaps this is exactly where you find yourself as we enter 2018. You applied for jobs that seemed promising, but the door was always closed. You dated someone you had hopes of marrying, but things fell through. You found a publisher you wanted to handle your book, but they turned you down. You and your spouse had hopes of being pregnant by now, but somehow it still hasn’t happened.

In the case of Samuel, 7 very promising options appeared, yet the Lord refused to bless any of them. What could the problem be?

As the story unfolds, we see that God turned down the first 7 options for a very good reason: He had something BETTER in mind!   

Samuel probably felt some frustration at this point. He had attempted to meticulously follow God’s instructions, only to reach an apparent dead end. Can you relate?

“Are ALL the young men here?” he finally asked Jesse.

Jesse replied that, yes indeed, there was an 8^th option: “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep” (v. 11).

Don’t you love how Jesse says this? “There remains…” another option. Even when you feel like you’ve already exhausted all the options, it’s good to know that God isn’t done yet!

However, Jesse played down the qualifications of his son David. After all, he was the youngest of the sons, consigned to take care of the sheep while the older brothers were invited to attend Samuel’s prestigious gathering.

In the same way, perhaps there’s an option you’ve overlooked. Maybe there’s someone who’s not even on your radar screen right now, but they are called to be a vital part of your life or your team. Perhaps they’re an afterthought, not even invited to the party.

After Samuel took oil and anointed David in the presence of his very surprised brothers, “the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward” (v. 13).

Notice that something changed for David that day. Although he probably was already a godly young man, no one seemed to recognize any special gifts or spiritual empowerment until Samuel anointed him. This day was a new beginning for David – and ultimately for the entire nation of Israel.

As we head into 2018, I hear many of you saying to yourself, “I feel like I’m running out of options.” That could be a FANTASTIC place to be! Remember: Only after Samuel ran out of visible options did he discover the 8^th option – GOD’S option!

I’m praying for you today. Although you may be growing weary of “hope deferred” (Proverbs 13:12), the answer to your hopes and dreams may be right around the corner.

One of the gifts I've received during my 38 years of sobriety is the gift of hindsight.  When I first joined AA, I didn't know what I thought about God.  Well, I felt a lot of guilt.  That guilt kept me from having a real relationship with Him in the beginning.  But by working the steps and probably by time passing , I grew to let Him into my heart.  Little by little, He showed me how He was taking care of me.  And now I have the gift of being able to look back at all those times.

When my parents passed away, through my husband's illness and when he passed away, through two fires and the death of my very good friend, Adam.  And through the death of one of my sponsees., Linda.  Linda and I used to spend so much time talking about how God was working in our lives.  We realized that sometimes God uses us in other people's lives that have nothing to do with us.  We are mere instruments in His plan.  We talked about how one thing had to happen first before something else could happen and then everything started to make sense.

I feel so protected and calm when I remember to let go and let God handle what I can't or don't yet understand.  There's no need for anxiety.  It's just a matter of waiting for His plan to unfold.

Roller coasters are for young people. If you’re over 50 and still like roller coasters, I think you’re either crazy, or perhaps you just like going to chiropractors.

People probably like roller coasters for the same reason they like scary movies. There’s an undeniable adrenaline surge when you think your life’s in jeopardy.

But I’m not sure that’s a healthy way to live.

I’ve discovered lately that many people who no longer ride Disney World roller coasters are instead riding roller coasters of a different kind. Rather than pay the exorbitant gate fees at an amusement park, they’ve developed the habit of riding relational and emotional roller coasters.

Even though you don’t have to pay a gate fee for an emotional roller coaster, there’s a high cost nevertheless. So I’m determined to do my best to avoid emotional and relational roller coasters in the coming year.

How about you?

In order to minimize life’s emotional roller coasters, we must recognize how we’ve unwittingly ridden them in the past. This may require a painful walk down Memory Lane, but it’s worth the effort.

Here are 4 tips for avoiding emotional roller coasters in 2018:

1. Minimize your contact with dysfunctional people. If you’re a therapist, this tip would be detrimental to your career. But for the rest of us, we need to choose our inner circle of friends carefully. Solomon warned, “Do not associate with those given to change; for their calamity will rise suddenly” (Proverbs 24:21-22).

Of course, it’s impossible to completely avoid dysfunctional people unless you become a hermit. And then the only dysfunctional person causing you problems would be yourself…

But let’s get real: Compassionate, caregiving people like me tend to spend far too much time in codependent, unhealthy, nonproductive relationships. Too often, we try to fix people who don’t really want to be fixed. Instead of making them any better, our own lives just become worse.

If you closely attach yourself to people who love emotional roller coasters, you will end up joining them on a jolting ride through life. Yes, if you love drama, it will be hard to give this up. But for me, life is too short for roller coasters.

2. Make sure your life is built upon rock rather than sand. Jesus warned about this in Matthew 7:24-27, describing the fate of two different men who built houses. I’ve never noticed it before, but the man whose house was on a rock had a comparatively boring life! Hurricanes and floods could come along, and he was able to rest securely within the unshakeable home he had built. In contrast, the other man experienced an adrenaline surge every time a storm came his way. He never knew whether the sand under his house would suddenly give way during a stressful time. He ended up with a roller coaster life, continually subject to the weather patterns of his surrounding circumstances.

As a kid, one of my favorite stories was “The 3 Little Pigs.” Two of the three pigs had houses that could be blown down by the big bad wolf – who was a fitting image of the devil. Yet the third pig was safe from the enemy’s attacks. In addition to building his house with strong materials, there was a FIRE in his fireplace – a great picture of someone whose heart is on fire with passion for the Lord. If I had to be a pig, I would like to follow his example.

3. Tie your emotions to eternal, unchanging things rather than the transitory conditions around you. If your state of mind is based on the weather or the daily stock market report, you’ll inevitably live a roller coaster life. Likewise, you’ll be a very moody person if you allow your disposition to be determined by how you’re treated by your boss, your coworkers, or even your spouse.

Too often, we’re like the teen girl trying to figure out if her boyfriend really loves her. Picking the petals off a daisy, she says to herself, “He loves me. He loves me not…”

But the good news is that we can tie our self-image to a Someone whose love is unchanging. There’s no roller coaster with His love, for He’s continually telling us, “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3) and “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

Not only does the Bible say your Heavenly Father loves you, but it also declares that He will never change His mind on that! Realizing this unchanging truth is an essential step in getting off of your emotional or spiritual roller coaster.

4. Beware of physical factors that cause your emotions to fluctuate. The link between your body and your emotions is profound. If your body rides on a roller coaster of sugar, caffeine, junk food, and drugs (prescription or otherwise), your emotions are sure to follow. Likewise, yo-yo diets and bipolar sleep habits will tend to cause yo-yo, bipolar emotions.

And just as your body affects your emotions, the reverse is true as well. Solomon pointed out that the condition of your mind and emotions will bring either health or harm to your physical well-being: “A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 MSG). Even without roller coasters in Solomon’s day, he could see the danger of “runaway emotions.”

Romantic Roller Coasters

If you’ve found yourself on a wild roller coaster ride in recent years, you’re certainly not alone. As I’ve documented in previous blogs, my good friend Ron has been a poster child for the roller coaster life.

Whenever an attractive woman shows Ron any attention, his heart goes flitter flutter. His hormones send his emotions sky high, making him feel intoxicated and strangely invincible. It’s like being an infatuated high school kid all over again.

However, you’ve probably heard the saying, “What goes up, must come down.” I’m not sure that adage is always true, but it surely has been the case with Ron. The elation he feels when he “falls in love” is quickly replaced by depression when the relationship doesn’t work out.

Although Ron’s pursuit of love is inherently hazardous, I’m convinced the romantic roller coaster can at least be minimized…

• Roller coasters are not as dangerous if they proceed at a slower, more deliberate pace. Although it’s seldom easy to slow down the freight train of love, it’s wise to at least include a few speed bumps on the journey.
• I keep telling Ron to fix his eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). Once again, this is easy for me to say and hard for Ron to do. Yet this is the ONLY way to main God’s perfect peace amid a dating relationship or any other new endeavor in life (Isaiah 26:3, Colossians 3:15).
• One of the discouraging things about roller coasters is that they never really take you anywhere. After all the ups and downs, you arrive back at the same place where you started. This is like the 40-year circular path the Israelites took in the wilderness. In contrast, God has a plan for your life, and that plan includes PROGRESS toward His PURPOSES. Every relationship or endeavor should be evaluated on whether it’s taking you further down the road toward God’s ultimate purpose.

So, are you ready to stay off unnecessary roller coasters in 2018? Are you willing to minimize the extreme highs and lows, opting instead for a slow, steady, purposeful walk with the Lord?

If you’re still young, I can understand why you might want to treat life like a face-paced, adrenaline-producing video game. But at my age, I’m finding that I must be strategic about how I spend my time and energy.

Let me know what you think! Am I being too hard on the roller coaster life?

You can find out more about my ministry at www.JimBuchan.com.

Like King David in the Psalms, many of my journal entries in recent years could have been titled, “Why am I so depressed…so dissatisfied with life?” This was especially true most years in November and December, when I faced holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.

So it came as a surprise when I noticed this month that I’m happier than I’ve been in years – even decades. How could this be, when most things in my life are exactly the same as they’ve been for the past several years?

Strangely, although I still have the same job, friends, and marital status as I did a year ago, somehow my perspective is radically different. This seemed puzzling at first. Yes, God used my sabbatical in May and June to change my outlook, and the birth of my first grandchild certainly helped as well. But I’m convinced that my new perspective has little to do with any external changes in my life this year – the transformation has been almost entirely a matter of the heart.

While some aspects of my new outlook are difficult to put into words, I’ve identified 6 specific adjustments God supernaturally brought to my attitude this year. Perhaps these will be helpful to you as well:

1. No more striving. During my sabbatical I recognized my bad habit of striving for God’s affection or people’s applause. How stupid! God already loves me – enough to send His Son to die in my place – and there’s absolutely nothing I can do earn more of His love or favor. That’s a life-changing realization! Likewise, there’s no need to strive for more kudos from other people. Those who matter in my life already love me, and if someone doesn’t love me, I guess they don’t really matter.

This year I also recognized the unhealthy ways I’ve been striving to make more of an impact. Although it’s noble to desire a greater impact for God’s kingdom, my self-image had become far too entangled with my perception of the impact I was having. God had to take me to the other side of the world – New Zealand – to show me the startling fact that I already am making an incredible impact.

While I was in the process of questioning my usefulness and impact, the Lord reminded me that I’m part of an international ministry that’s recording more than one million salvations through our evangelistic outreaches this year. Also, there have been 30 million views of our daily discipleship videos, and I was directly involved in writing the scripts for those. In addition, I wrote books, booklets, pamphlets, and magazine articles that have impacted thousands of people.

I’m not citing this evidence to boast, but rather to illustrate how crazy it is to for me to strive for greater self-esteem based on increasing my accomplishments. It’s time to REST and REJOICE in what God has done!

2. No more envy. Until this summer, I never realized the deadly grip jealousy and envy had on me. The final item of the Ten Commandments warns about this: “You shall not covet...anything that is your neighbor’s” (Exodus 20:17). God has done a remarkable work in delivering me from envy the past six months, and this has resulted in incredible JOY!

No longer do I envy ANYONE. Others may have a bigger salary, a nicer house, and a faster car, but I don’t envy them. And although I have friends who’ve gotten engaged this year, I’m not envious of them, nor of my friends who already have happy marriages.

In Philippians 4:19, the apostle Paul describes the Lord’s ability to meet our needs, and it’s great to know that miraculous provision is possible during our times of lack. But, earlier in the chapter, Paul spoke about another amazing secret he had learned – the ability to be content regardless of his present circumstances (vs. 11-12). When we recognize how blessed we already are, there’s no need to envy those around us – and that should be a cause for great rejoicing.

3. No more regrets. If you have regrets today, I can sympathize. None of us is happy about everything we’ve done in past, nor everything that happened to If we’re honest, there are certainly some things we wish had turned out differently.

However, this year Romans 8:28 has become more than a nice religious memory verse for me. God truly can turn ALL things around for good when we love Him and seek to fulfill His purposes. Without the agony of Jesus’ cross, there would have been no forgiveness. And somehow God always uses our “crosses” to release more of His resurrection power and blessings.

Perhaps you’ve faced some horrendous events you can’t even begin to understand right now. My heart goes out to you. But I believe the day will come when you’ll be able to say along with Joseph, “God meant it for GOOD” (Genesis 50:20). You’ll cast off the regrets holding you captive, enabling you to get unstuck from the traumas that once caused you unspeakable pain.

4. No more complaining. Like never before, I’m making an effort to replace grumbling with gratitude. Paul had a lot he could have complained about while sitting in a Roman prison cell. But instead he chose to focus on the people he was thankful for (Philippians 1:3-7) and the things in his life that were praiseworthy (4:4-8). That kind of adjusted focus goes a long way toward experiencing a happier and more joyful life.

I'm sure I'll continue to struggle with this at times. I'll be tempted to complain about aches and pains, singleness, the traffic in Charlotte, and countless other annoyances. But thankfully God has given me the power to change my focus and choose gratitude – and that makes all the difference.

5. No more worries. At my advanced age, there are plenty of things a person could worry about. We worry about future health problems and wonder who would take care of us in that event. We worry about whether our financial reserves will run out before we die. We worry about being alone in our latter years. And I’m sure you can think of some other things to worry about as well…

Once again, my circumstances haven’t changed much, but my perspective is quite different than it was last year at this time. Why waste time and emotional energy worrying, when God has consistently proven Himself faithful throughout the years?

When I reflect on my past, I notice that the things I worried about seldom actually happened. Instead, God provided what I needed, even if it was at the last minute. Shouldn’t I trust Him to provide for me in the future too? Hey, during my sabbatical, I lived for six weeks with just the stuff I could fit into a medium-sized suitcase – and I didn’t lack anything.

My concerns about future financial provision gained a better perspective this year when I visited a multimillionaire friend. Once he had lavish homes in several different states, but now he lives in an assisted living center. Although he still has plenty of money, he spends his days in a small, one-room apartment – not much different than the kind of place someone on government assistance would have. Nevertheless, my friend is happy as can be, grateful that he has a bed, a comfortable chair, a TV, his own bathroom, and three meals a day. What else would he really need? At this point, his great wealth has largely become irrelevant.

6. No more codependence. I’ll admit, I have a long-time habit of trying to rescue people. That may not sound like a problem to you, but sometimes it has caused me unnecessary trouble. You see, those of us who are pastors and caregivers at heart frequently go overboard, forgetting to set boundaries and take care of

Recently God reminded me of the beautiful words of Isaiah 9:6-7, “The government will be upon HIS shoulder.” Too often, I’ve tried to shoulder the problems of the universe on my own shoulders, which is a sure prescription for burnout, if not disaster.

So if you see me trying to rescue a damsel in distress, there’s a good chance you should rebuke me. Instead of trying to solve everyone’s problems, caregivers like me must learn the hard lesson of letting God be God, and pointing people to Him instead of to ourselves (Psalm 46:10). As John the Baptist discovered, we must boldly admit, “I am not the Christ!” (John 1:20).

Imagine the overwhelming joy you’d experience if God set you free from striving…envy…regrets…complaining…worries…and codependence. It would be the best year you’ve had in decades!

I have a few additional reasons for being exceptionally happy this year. My job description at work has undergone some helpful tweaks. My home is also better organized now, because I got rid of some clutter when I moved. It always feels good to get rid of unnecessary “stuff,” doesn’t it?

Looking back on this year, I’m still amazed that most of the significant, joy-producing changes occurred in my heart, not in any of my circumstances. Ironically, these internal transformations probably could have happened in 2016, 2015, or even decades ago. Yet even though I wish I would have learned the lessons much sooner, there’s no time for regrets. Regardless of how long it took me to discover these simple truths, I’m VERY grateful that 2017 turned out to be such a transformational year.

Dear friend, you don’t have to wait until you’re my age to implement these life-changing perspectives. Life is too short to delay any longer. You might as well start being happy as soon as possible.  

We don’t know the exact time frame of the journey made by “wise men from the East” in search of young King Jesus (Matthew 2:1-12). It may have been several months or even a few years after Jesus’ birth when they arrived at Herod’s palace and asked, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews?” (v. 1).

But while some of the details of their journey may be unclear, there’s much we can learn from the wonderful example set by the magi:

1. Pursuing the Lord was their top priority (v. 1). These men came from a great distance – probably 900 miles or more – to spend time with the Savior. They weren’t just casual believers, but were committed to pursuing a personal encounter with the newborn King. In the same way, shouldn’t we make it a priority to seek the Lord and spend time in His presence?
2. They came to worship Him (v. 2). Right from the beginning, the magi made the purpose of their journey clear: “We have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him.” May that be our focus as well during this Christmas season. Instead of being distracted by all the trappings of the holidays, let’s take time to worship Jesus!
3. Nothing could divert them from their mission (vs. 3-8). When God gives us a dream to pursue, we often have to deal with a “King Herod” who tries to distract us along the way. The magi truly proved to be “wise men,” able to discern that King Herod had no intention of furthering their mission. In the same way, we must avoid the influence of toxic people and naysayers during the holiday season.
4. They had to overcome the discouragement of temporarily losing sight of the star. If your GPS has ever malfunctioned, you know how frustrating it can be to lose your sense of direction. This seemed to happen to the magi at one point, causing them to seek human guidance when the miraculous star was no longer visible. Yet if we persevere in our pursuit of the Lord’s purpose, His guidance will eventually return. We’ll discover that we’re in the right place after all:

Then the star appeared again, the same star they had seen in the eastern skies. It led them on until it hovered over the place of the child. They could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time! (Matthew 2:9-10 MSG).

5. They not only worshiped Jesus with their words and their time, but they also worshiped Him with a generous offering. “When they had opened their treasures, they presented to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh” (v. 11). If we have a genuine encounter with our Savior, the King of Kings, how can we not honor Him with our treasure, time, and talents? True worship demands nothing less. Our treasure and our heart are always linked together (Matthew 6:21).
6. They returned home “another way” (v. 12). Genuine worship will transform us and cause us to walk on a different path than we started on. If necessary, we’ll even be given supernatural direction or be “divinely warned in a dream.” As you worship Jesus this holiday season, He wants to instruct you, change your life, and give you the miraculous breakthrough you need!

May the Lord give you a fresh revelation of His LOVE for you this Christmas – love that took Him from the glories of heaven to a dusty stable in Bethlehem…to a cross on a Jerusalem hillside…to the right hand of God’s heavenly throne…so that you might enjoy spending eternity with Him.

Take a few moments right now to give God thanks for all He has done in your life. Like the magi, your journey may seem long and difficult at times. However, peace and joy will rise in your heart when you put your focus in the right place this Christmas: “When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy” (v. 10).

That can be your experience as well.

You, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, are only a small village in Judah.

Yet a ruler of Israel will come from you, one whose origins are from the distant past.

He will be highly honored all around the world. He will be the source of our peace.

Micah 5:2, 4, 5a NLT

He was born in a little town, yet He never began.            

Before mountains were sculpted, He existed—in fact, He made them.

Before the planet you call home hung in space, He was your Home.

You cannot understand this, but you can believe it.

He entered earth in a dark barn, yet He will enlighten new Jerusalem.

His light illumines seeking minds—His life comforts desperate hearts.

He spoke first light into being—that light shines on, inextinguishable.

You cannot explain this, but you can enjoy it.

He was marked by a star, yet He made all the stars.

Heaven’s GPS pointed out His location to those who wanted to know.

I still use circumstances, events, and people to direct people to Jesus.

You cannot figure out what I am up to, but you can follow.

He was a helpless baby on earth, yet He is the Sovereign of Heaven.

He enjoyed prerogatives of power and glory, but He gave it up for you.

Rather than demand His rights, He humbly gave His life to redeem you.

You cannot earn this, but you can receive it.

He was adored by wise men from a foreign land,

and He will be worshiped by ransomed saints from all lands.

No one else is worthy of universal praise—He alone is the Savior.

You cannot imagine this, but you can experience it.

He became human in time, yet He is the Ruler of Eternity.

You cannot see Him now, but in the distant future you will.

Storm clouds veil stars, but dawn will reveal the rhapsody of peace.

You cannot envision this, but you can anticipate it.

His star led magi to Him, and the Bright Morning Star guides you.

All wisdom centers on Him—all truth connects to Him.

Wise men traveled a long way to find Him—yet it was worth the trip.

You cannot know it all, but you can know the One who does.

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

 Tis the season for graduations. Many years ago, at my Seminary graduation, the commencement speaker spoke on the subject “Don’t Forget the Lily Work” from 1 Kings 7:15-22. Hiram finished the construction of Solomon’s Temple with two pillars, each one 27 feet tall, topped with two capitals, each 7 ½ feet high. Then 34 ½ feet above the ground, where no human eye could see, Hiram added the beautiful lily work. “The tops of the pillars were in the shape of lilies. So the work of the pillars was finished” (1 Kings 7:22) or from the King James Version, “And upon the top of the pillars was lily work.” The speaker reminded us that our ministry was not complete until we had done that which pleased only God, perhaps not even seen by man. Have you been doing that which pleased God, iregardless of man’s response? And aren’t you impressed that I actually listened to, and remembered the commencement speaker at my graduation? Garry Trudeau said, “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” Don’t forget your lily work this week.

“Go out and stand before me on the mountain” the Lord told him.

Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain.

It was such a terrible blast, rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

1 Kings 19:11-12 NLT

When fierce windstorms of chaos crumble mountains of your life, I may be trying to teach you a critical lesson. Your typical response is to attempt to put everything back together as best you can. In the process, you may or may not be aware of My Presence.

When emotional earthquakes shake familiar ground beneath your feet and everything nailed down comes loose, you may run to Me in search of stability—or you may simply run away.

When judgment fires sweep through your life’s landscape, you may recognize My purifying purpose—or you may do your best to extinguish the holy blaze.

When I gently whisper, I capture your attention.

Sometimes you feel like Elijah—afraid, lonely, burned out, exhausted, and discouraged. At those times, thank Me for My Holy Spirit. Better than a worrisome wind, egocentric earthquake, or fearful fire—the quiet whisper of My voice encourages you to get up and keep going by consoling, comforting, supporting, and helping you like no earthly voice.

In the midst of the world’s cacophony, My Spirit’s symphony is a welcome break for your troubled soul. Force is touted as the answer to the problems of the world; human strength impresses the masses—but My Holy Spirit is the Ultimate Solution.

My still, small voice counteracts tumult with tranquility—calming the noisy wind to a light whisper and hushing loud waves of the sea to sleep.

In the gentleness of My heart, find rest for your soul. Be silent and get still—you will know deep in your heart that I am God.

I never crush the bruised reed of your music-making ability—I restore your joy and teach you to sing of heaven’s forgiveness. I do not quench the smoldering wick of your good influence—I rekindle hope and encourage you to shine on for My honor. I calm your troubled heart, speak peace to your restless mind, and soothe your jangled nerves—when you listen prayerfully to gentle whispers from eternity.

© 2013 Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity

When a friend recently asked me to share my thoughts on the “Proverbs 31” woman and man, it unexpectedly was a painful experience. As never before, I realized how cynical I had become on the subject of an ideal marriage. For far too many couples – even Christian couples – the marital ideal of “heaven on earth” has degenerated into something akin to hell on earth.

Solomon (or “King Lemuel”) asks, “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). Right from beginning, he’s acknowledging that this kind of person is extremely rare and hard to find. And in the previous chapter, Solomon admitted that relationships between men and women were bewildering even to someone as wise as he was (Proverbs 4:18-19).

If it was hard to find a Proverbs 31 woman in Solomon’s day, isn’t the task even more daunting in today’s world? Believers are surrounded by a ME culture rather than a THEE culture. Even in the today’s church, the emphasis is typically on how YOU can have a more fulfilled life, not on how you can lay down your life to honor and serve your spouse or others.

So I ask: Is it even possible to be a Proverbs 31 woman or man today? With very few observable precedents or role models, has that kind of marriage become something like an unattainable fairy tale?

My cynicism on the subject was compounded several months ago when Lysa TerKeurst, founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, announced she was divorcing her husband because of his infidelity. Hey, if the head of Proverbs 31 Ministries can’t even make her marriage work, how is there any hope for the rest of us?

I have numerous Christian friends whose marriages seemingly ended through little fault of their own. But while divorce among Christians is certainly a blot on the moral standing of the church today, perhaps there’s an even bigger scandal: Why are so few marriages happy and thriving, not just surviving?

We all know people who are enduring unhappy marriages, just because they think it’s the Christian think to do. Yet just as divorce is a scandal, so is an unloving, unhappy marriage. Although neither is a good witness for Christ, we often applaud the martyrs who “hang in there” with unhappy or even abusive marriages.

Back to Proverbs

The Proverbs 31 woman and man are portrayed in quite idealistic, perhaps unattainable, terms:

The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life (vs. 11-12).

Trust is such a foundational ingredient in any healthy relationship. But who among us is trustworthy all the time? Even if we try our best, we will let people down from time to time. And if our life is characterized by pursuing our own selfish interests instead of dying to ourselves daily, we’re destined to be extremely untrustworthy as friends or spouses.

She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.

 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants (vs. 13-15).

She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet

 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple (vs. 21-22).

She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness (v. 27).

What a hard worker this Proverbs 31 woman is, staying up day and night to provide food, clothing, and a beautiful home for her family. She seems like a hybrid of Betty Crocker, Paula Dean, Martha Stewart, and Wonder Woman!

While it’s commendable that this amazing woman “does not eat the bread of idleness,” this statement worries me a little. I’m hopeful she also has the wisdom to take time for rest each week, and periodically to disengage from her many activities by taking a vacation. From the beginning of God’s creation of humankind, he instructed us to both work and rest. Idleness is a good thing if done in sync with the Lord’s plan and workflow.

Also, when I read these verses, I can’t help wondering about the husband’s role, if any, in the domestic activities of the household. Did he ever do the dishes or help with the laundry? Just wondering…

She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard (v. 16).

She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle (vs. 18-19).

She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants (v. 24).

In addition to caring for her family, the Proverbs 31 woman is a successful real estate investor and businesswoman. Wow!

She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms (v. 17).

It even sounds like she somehow finds time to visit the gym to lift weights and keep her arms toned:

She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy (v. 20).

On top of her incredibly busy schedule, the Proverbs 31 woman apparently takes time to volunteer for nonprofit organizations and reach out to the poor and needy:

Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness (vs. 25-26).

This woman’s accomplishments and work ethic are fantastic, but something huge would be missing if not for these additional descriptions of her character:

• She was clothed with honor (which the coming verses point to as an important characteristic of this entire family).
• She kept an optimistic and hopeful outlook on her family’s future. This is shown more clearly in the NASB translation: “She smiles at the future.” The opposite of this is to be a worrier, always expecting the worst to happen. Pessimism and worry are traits that not only undercut a person’s relationship with God, but also their marriage and family life.
• She was kind. This is an enormous character trait for a healthy marriage and family. Many husbands and wives are tremendously successful and productive in their accomplishments, yet they’ve never learned “the law of kindness.” In contrast, when the Proverbs 31 woman spoke, people knew her words would be filled with wisdom and kindness. Too often, we use our words to win arguments, but this woman knew how to win people’s hearts.

What About the Husband and Kids?

The friend who asked me about Proverbs 31 wanted to know about the Proverbs 31 man too, not just the woman. Hmmm…I wasn’t sure I really knew much about that. The woman is clearly the central figure in the chapter, and I’ve seldom heard anyone comment about her husband.

But we’re given a few indications of what the man was doing while his wife was completing her heroic endeavors:

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land (v. 23).

The city gates were the place of commerce and government back then, and we see this man sitting “among the elders.” So, while the Proverbs 31 woman was diligently caring for the household, her husband was out being a leader in the community.

A couple of observations:

• The husband wouldn’t have had the freedom to hang out with community leaders unless his wife was able to run an orderly household. Once again, we see the importance of the wife’s trustworthiness. The man knew he could safely delegate to her many responsibilities for the family.
• If the family situation wasn’t reasonably in order, the husband wouldn’t have been able to gain the respect of the community leaders or be recognized as an “elder” (cf. 1 Timothy 3:4-5).
• A man who isn’t honored and respected by his wife seldom has the self-confidence to successfully lead in the community or the church. As a former pastor, I counseled many men who had been emasculated by the disrespect of their wives. Solomon describes this in several of his previous proverbs, saying it’s better to live on the corner of a roof or in a desert land, than to deal with a contentious woman (Proverbs 21:9, 21:19). The Proverbs 31 man thankfully didn’t have to face that problem.

Although the woman is the hero of this story, the man certainly should be given some credit for helping to create a culture of honor and respect in the family:

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all” (vs. 28-29).

Many children today have never learned how to honor and respect other people – not even their mother and father. The fact that the woman’s children in Proverbs 31 can bless her so wholeheartedly is an indication that they first observed their father doing the same.

You’ve probably heard that one of the five love languages is “Words of Affirmation.” While that’s no doubt true, let’s get real: We ALL desire words of affirmation, don’t we? The Proverbs 31 man beautifully modeled this heart of love and encouragement as he openly and enthusiastically praised the virtues of his wife.

Notice that the husband didn’t just tell his wife she’d done a pretty good job. He said, “You excel them ALL.” In other words, this wise man never fell into the trap of unfavorably comparing his wife to other women. In his eyes, no other woman could ever compare with her.

This story ends with a fitting tribute, summarizing the lasting legacy of the Proverbs 31 woman:

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates (vs. 30-31).

This points to an important reason many marriages fail: Often the couple’s romance and marriage began with intense physical attraction, but the rest of the foundation was weak. Although this phenomenon has been true to some degree in every generation, it’s even more blatant and pervasive in today’s world of online dating, social media, and airbrushed magazine ads.

In stark contrast, this passage acknowledges that a person’s outward charm and beauty will ultimately pass away. A strong marriage must have a stronger foundation than that, based on the character of the partners, not just their appearance or charm. Once again, as he has urged throughout the book of Proverbs, Solomon says our reverential fear of the Lord should be the basis for our character.

What About the Song of Solomon?

If you’ve really been paying attention to the story in Proverbs 31, you may have wondered about another aspect of a happy and thriving marriage: What about SEX – the physical part of a healthy marital relationship? Yes, it’s great to lay a strong foundation of spirituality, character, friendship, and service, but what about ROMANCE – isn’t that important too?

Absolutely, it’s vitally important to nurture the flame of romantic love. Yet, for a number of reasons, this isn’t always easy. Many marriages begin with passion but then fizzle into apathy. Commitment and intentionality are required to keep the romantic fires burning. Physical attraction may have been easy during courtship, but now we must overcome such things as busyness, fatigue, offenses, and simply the deteriorating capacity of our bodies. 

Of course, there are lots of excuses and explanations for why a marriage is no longer fun or passionate. Some Christians imply that we just live in a sex-crazed culture, and we should be so spiritual that we don’t need to worry about ongoing romance. As long as they go to church together with their spouse, why should it matter whether they also sleep together?

Well, I believe it does matter. If you’re in your 70s, your physical relationship with your spouse probably will be different than it was in your 20s, but hopefully it’ll never become nonexistent. Even if intercourse is no longer possible or no longer pleasurable, can’t there at least be hugs, kisses, cuddles, and other physical displays of affection?

That’s why Proverbs 31 shouldn’t be studied without at least some mention of the romantic side of the equation, described in the Song of Solomon. A healthy marriage is not just about food, clothing, finances, and house décor. Right from the beginning, a strong marriage must include a oneness of spirit, soul, and body – and each of these three elements must be cultivated along the way.

Conclusions

It’s not easy. If it was, there would be a lot more marriages that are happy, fulfilling, and lasting.

Marriage must have been easier before sin and selfishness entered the world in Genesis 3. Yet perhaps, even before that, God designed marriage as something meant to be difficult – only possible with His wisdom and help.

No wonder Solomon wrote that “a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Without trusting the Lord as the third strand of our marriage, our relationship is vulnerable indeed.

Let’s not forget that in order for a marriage to model heaven on earth, each of the partners must maintain their own heavenly relationship with Christ. Overlooking this key ingredient is why many books and sermons on marriage fall short of their intended outcome.

In order to reflect the atmosphere of heaven, today’s Christian families need a spiritual revolution. And that’s the kind of transformation that would occur if every couple started the day with this simple, heartfelt prayer: “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on buying it,

for I cannot present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.”

2 Samuel 24:24 NLT

Grace is free, but not cheap. Grace cost Me the Love of My life. My Son Jesus paid sin’s awful price with His innocent blood. Near the location of Araunah’s threshing floor, Abraham would have sacrificed his son Isaac, had an angel not interrupted his brave plan; but I did not spare My Son His excruciating death on Skull Hill.

Grace is yours for the asking, but there is a high cost to pay if you are to be My disciple. David had a chance to make an easy sacrifice, by accepting Araunah’s offer of a gift. But his conscience moved him to purchase the threshing floor and oxen. I ask you to surrender to your Creator at a cost the finest you have to offer, not just what requires no sacrifice. Anything less than your best is no real sacrifice.

Half-hearted discipleship will not do. I demand undivided allegiance. Only the highest quality, fully devoted service pleases Me. To follow Me, deny cheap attractions. To love Me wholeheartedly, quit lesser loyalties. To worship Me authentically, ignore inferior idols.

Let challenging teachings of My Son reverberate in your heart—If you want to be My follower, you must give up your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and walk in My footsteps. If you try to make everything revolve around yourself, you will miss life. If you make Me the center of your life, you will find life’s true meaning.

I am not opposed to your having a good time. I am not advocating that you go looking for pain. I am saying it will take heroic effort on your part to stay close to Me. Kingdom work will often be difficult. Walking in Jesus’ steps is never a cakewalk.

Near the site of David’s burnt offering was a place called Calvary—no easy place to die. You can be sure it will not be easy for you to shoulder your cross and unselfishly serve Me. Splinters from the cross will hurt—crucifixion of your ego will be painful.

Because your King paid a high price for you, respond in kind. Giving Me your life as a pure and holy sacrifice is reasonable worship.

Solomon built the expensive, magnificent Temple on the former site of Araunah’s threshing floor—build your life on Christ, whatever the cost. Consecration of your body as a temple of My Holy Spirit will transform your inner being to be like Jerusalem, city of peace. The eternal value of closeness to the King of hearts will be worth any price you have to pay.

Johnny R. Almond

Pastor, Hull’s Memorial Baptist Church

Author, Gentle Whispers from Eternity