Discipleship Network Forum

During my sabbatical in New Zealand and California a few months ago, I lived for seven full weeks with just the clothes in one fairly small suitcase. I had a few shirts, a few pants, some socks and underwear, and a toothbrush, razor, and stick of deodorant.

Yes, I did wash the clothes from time to time. But I traveled light and never lacked a thing.

Shortly after returning back to the Carolinas, I went through the arduous process of moving into a new residence. I couldn’t help but be struck by the contrast.

For seven weeks, I had done just fine with only the belongings I could carry in one suitcase. But back at home I had countless boxes and pieces of furniture to move. Too many clothes. Too much furniture. Too many books.

Too much junk…

What an eye-opening experience! If I could get along so well with just the items I could carry, what was I doing with all the other stuff back home?

Jesus said a lot about “traveling light” as we journey through life. When sending out His disciples, He warned, “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts—no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep” (Matthew 10:9-10 NIV).

And then there was Jesus’ famous statement about unloading our “stuff” if we truly want to enter into the riches of His kingdom: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:25 NIV).

I don’t think He meant we must disavow owning any property. Rather, this is a warning not to clutch our possessions so tightly that they hinder us from the eternal abundance derived from wholeheartedly following Him.

In order to enter a city’s narrow gateway, a camel’s heavy load often had to be removed. In the same way, we must lay down our possessions—and our very lives—in order to enjoy the maximum blessings of God’s kingdom.

I think many of us Americans are so attached to our material goods that we fear what would happen if we ever lost them. But I’m glad I discovered that, if necessary, I could have kept living out of my suitcase.

Likewise, I’m glad I finally came to realize that much of the “stuff” in my storage unit wasn’t really a blessing, but merely a burden.

What do you really need in order to comfortably live? It’s probably a lot less than you think!

I never thought it would happen to me. I can’t remember ever envying someone who had a bigger house…a faster car…a higher salary…or a corner office. Nor did it bother me that I wasn’t part of the enviable “1%.”

So it shocked me recently when I found myself in the clutches of the Green-Eyed Monster—a term originating in Shakespeare’s play, Othello: “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”

A number of events the past few months confirmed that I’ve been afflicted with this terrible disease. Although material things still aren’t the focus of my jealousy, several incidents pushed other buttons that brought out the Green-Eyed Monster in me…

• I ran into an old friend who now preaches in churches and conferences around the world. In contrast to his apparent success, I have very few open doors for ministry, despite my love of preaching. It puzzled me that he’s had so many opportunities, when I was sure I could preach as well, or even better.

• I spent time with a man who, like me, is a ghostwriter for other authors. I found myself extremely envious of the fact that people were actually reading the books he wrote (in contrast to my books, read by hardly anyone). And in addition to being jealous of the best-selling books he was producing, I groaned as he boasted about the huge fees he received for each book, exponentially higher than my rates.

• I read about a pastor a few hours away who was impacting thousands of young people through a church he planted. At my advanced age, I’ve concluded that the only reason to live is to find ways to pour my life into the next generation. Convinced that it’s a waste of time trying to change Baby Boomers, I’m frustrated that I don’t have more opportunities to disciple young believers.

As I’ve looked back at these three incidents, I see a pattern. For the most part, the Green-Eyed Monster didn’t rear its ugly head because of envying people’s money or status—instead, I envied their impact. The most important thing in my life is still to impact the world for Jesus, and I was jealous of those who were doing that more effectively than I was.

There’s a lot you could psychoanalyze in my perspective. Some of my friends have pointed out that I’m much too performance-focused. They’ve confronted me about basing my self-image on my accomplishments rather than on God’s unconditional love for me.

I’m sure my friends are correct in their observation. I’m praying for the Lord to remedy this.

But in each of the three incidents that triggered my bout with envy, something later happened that put everything in an entirely different light…

• I heard reports that my preacher friend had virtually begged one church to have him come and speak. This greatly offended the pastor, and made my friend seem like a real jerk, desperate for honorariums. Perhaps his life isn’t so great after all.

• The ghostwriter did a book project for a ministry I know in another state, and his work was deemed to be substandard. The man also turned out to be very difficult to work with, a real turn-off for the ministry that had hired him for the project.

• The pastor who built such a successful outreach to young people was revealed to have a serious alcohol problem. The board removed him from his pastorate until he could get help, and for now his ministry is over.

Isn’t it strange that we often envy people who don’t have such a great life after all? We’re jealous of the image they project, but things look entirely different when the curtain is pulled back.

Because of these experiences, I’m no longer envious of the three men who triggered my Green-Eyed Monster experiences. I would rather be me than them.

Yet I’m still struggling with envy of another kind: I’m “envious” to be more like the person God created me to be. I want to be more like Jesus (Romans 8:29, Luke 6:40), and more like the Jim Buchan envisioned by my Heavenly Father when He created me.

One more thing…

A few years ago, I was telling my friend Bernard about all the things I didn’t like about my life. I thought I had made a pretty good case for why he should feel sorry for me, but Bernard was much too wise to fall into that trap.

“Jim, don’t you realize that millions of people would gladly trade places with you?!” he said.

How ironic. Despite my complaints and my envy of others, millions of people would be envious if they saw the life God has given me. I guess one of the best ways to slay the Green-Eyed Monster is to be grateful for the life I already have.

It’s beautiful, but also exasperating, that the Bible often points out two seemingly opposite and contradictory sides of a subject. For example, Jesus is both God and man, a paradox that is hard, if not impossible, for us to fully grasp.

And have you ever studied the issue of “eternal security”? If so, you’ve found verses that seem to state the absolute impossibility of losing your salvation (e.g., John 10:28-29, Romans 8:31-39, Philippians 1:6), while other passages warn about the danger of falling away (Hebrews 6:4-6, Hebrews 10:26-27, 2 Timothy 2:12, 2 Peter 2:20-22). I’m sure God understands how all of this works together. But if we’re honest, sometimes it’s a bit baffling for us.

In the face of the Bible’s paradoxes, our tendency is to cite proof texts on one side of an issue or the other. In doing so, we ignore verses that show the other side, and this typically leads to heated theological arguments with sincere believers who have their own set of proof texts.

Hey, I used to be an attorney, so I’m pretty good at presenting just one side of the evidence.

Some of the Bible’s paradoxes are practical, not just theological, in nature. For example, I have a close friend who loves to quote Paul’s words about contentment: “  (Philippians 4:11).

Over the many years this friend has known me, he’s periodically observed my discontentment over my finances, my weight, my lack of spiritual impact, and many other things. And even after I was able to get unstuck and make progress in these areas of discontentment, he’s noticed that I always find another mountain of discontentment that I still needed to climb.

When my friend preaches to me contentment, I quote to him a passage Paul writes in the chapter right before his statement about being content: “I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12-14).

I guess I struggle with the whole contentment thing. How can we be content, when our spiritual condition or other aspects of our lives fall short of God’s best for us?

What a dilemma this is. By focusing on the importance of contentment, my friend runs the risk of settling for circumstances in his life that God wants to change. In time, he’s liable to get stuck in situations that are far less than God’s high calling for his life.

But my perspective clearly has its dangers too. By stressing a lifestyle of continually “pressing on” to ever-higher goals and objectives, I run the risk of never resting or enjoying the journey. Life tends to become just one long marathon race, never being satisfied with my current position on the GPS.

Somehow both of these scriptural principles are true. Wherever we’re currently at on our journey through life, we must learn to abide in the Lord and experience His peace (Philippians 4:6-9, John 15:1-5). Thankful that He is faithfully working out His purpose in our lives, we can unapologetically take some time to “smell the roses” along the way.

Of course, this doesn’t negate the realization that we haven’t “arrived” yet. No matter how far we’ve come so far, we are still in the process of being conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). And rather than allowing ourselves to become stuck on some spiritual plateau, we must recognize God’s “upward call” to transform us from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18).

So which side of the contentment dilemma are you on today? Do you need a nudge to get unstuck and press higher, or is it time to take a deep breath, rest, and enjoy where God has brought you so far?