One of my favorite Bible verses is the apostle Paul’s statement in 2 Corinthians 2:14 that God “always leads us in triumph in Christ.” That’s a beautiful promise, but lately I’ve been rethinking what it means to live a triumphant life.

Some preachers act as if the Christian life is meant to be a journey from one mountain top to another, with no valleys in-between. They act as if we can have victory without any battles along the way.

However, that’s certainly not what Paul is saying here. Several chapters later, he provides a long list of the severe hardships he had faced in his service to the Lord. Yes, God had met all of his needs, but Paul’s “abundant life” also included abundant trials. Frequent beatings…imprisonment…shipwreck…robbery…false accusations…sleeplessness…inclement weather, betrayal – and other difficulties too numerous to mention (2 Corinthians 11:23-30).

So, what does the triumphant Christian life really look like? I’m beginning to think it looks a lot like famed boxer Rocky Balboa after one of his fights. He was knocked to the mat numerous times during each fight, but he never stayed there. And although his face and body were pummeled almost beyond recognition, Rocky was able to loudly proclaim his victory at the end of the story.

Perhaps you think this illustration is much too bloody, and certainly not a very appealing illustration of the victory available in Christ. Maybe not. But the illustration fits more accurately than the depictions of Jesus and His apostles with rosy cheeks, halos, and garments that looked like they were dry cleaned every day.

In fact, in Mel Gibson’s movie, “The Passion of the Christ,” the beaten and crucified Jesus looks a lot like Rocky Balboa. How ironic that while the cross seemed like His ultimate defeat, it turned out to be His ultimate victory. He got knocked down, but He got up again.

My friend, if you feel like you’ve been pummeled by life’s circumstances, remember Rocky Balboa – and Jesus. Even if you feel bloody and broken today, you’re probably a lot more victorious than you realize.

Your dreams may seem dead at the moment. But if you don’t give up, I’m betting that your resurrection is right around the corner.

One of the unexpected revelations during my cancer and chemo journey last year was that everyone is dealing with something. If you’re facing a life-threatening foe like cancer, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and act as if you’re the only one having a rough time – but it turns out you’re not alone in your trials.

Let me explain…

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was amazed by how many friends told me their own stories about facing that dreaded disease, either in their own life or with a loved one. I had no idea this was such a widespread experience.

However, many friends came to me with stories about dealing with other kinds of difficult situations. Some were having conflicts in their marriage or were disappointed in the decisions their kids were making. Others were feeling devastated by financial setbacks or emotional pain such as grief, depression, or loneliness.

Several months ago, I had an enlightening conversation with some church friends who seemed to have the perfect marriage and family. At least it looked that way on Facebook and Instagram. Seeing their public persona, I’ve often been tempted to envy them.

Yet these friends shocked me by sharing about some recent conflicts in their marriage. And while their children all looked like little angels on social media, it turned out that each of their kids was dealing with some kind of problem too. I had no idea.

Suddenly I realized that the reason these friends could be so vulnerable about their own difficulties was because they knew about my health struggles. Bald from chemo and having virtually no energy, it was obvious things weren’t going very well in my life. This was embarrassing to me at first. I would have preferred to project a more positive, victorious image.

But how surprising it was that my hardships ended up providing an unexpected blessing: Seeing the struggles I was facing, people felt like they could safely confide in me about their own battles.  

Perhaps an even greater epiphany was that everyone on this fallen planet is dealing with some kind of challenge in their life. The stressed-out cashier at Walmart…the frustrating colleague at work…the grouchy neighbor…the annoying driver on the freeway…the Facebook friend who posts angry political tirades – whether we realize it or not, everyone is dealing with something.

What an important lesson! Just as I want people to be patient with me when I’m going through hard times, I need to have patience with the “thorny” people I come across in life. Whether I can see it or not, they’re all dealing with some difficult situation, no doubt.

As the apostle Paul wrote, temptations and trials are “common to humanity” (1 Corinthians 10:13 CSB). So if you’re dealing with unpleasant circumstances today, join the club. You’re certainly not alone.

Amid Job’s terrible hardships described in the Bible, he was reminded by his friend Eliphaz: “People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire” (Job 5:7 NLT). Good point! To one extent or another, trouble is an unavoidable part of the human experience.

Although Job’s friends sometimes did more harm than good, in this case Eliphaz continued with some good advice: “If I were you, I would go to God and present my case to him. He does great things too marvelous to understand. He performs countless miracles” (Job 5:8-9 NLT).

Notice that these words present a difficult paradox. On the one hand, humankind will inevitably face trouble along life’s way. But on the other hand, we’re told that God is a miracle-working God. In every situation, we must go to Him and present our case.

Perhaps you are feeling like Job today. If so, my heart and my prayers go out to you. But as hard as it may be to realize in the midst of fiery trials, God is not mad at you and He’s not your enemy. He’s inviting you to run to Him and present your case, based on the promises in His Word.

At the end of his story, Job’s life was restored in every way. In fact, “the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning” (Job 42:12 NKJV).

My friend, whether in this life or the next, God’s plan for you and me is a happy ending. Yes, there will be trials and tribulations along the way. But that’s not the end of the story.

If you’ve never been in an escape room, I recommend you try it sometime. Recently I had this fun experience with some family members during a holiday trip in Ohio.

In this popular new craze, a team of players is put into a room where they cooperatively discover clues, solve puzzles, and accomplish tasks in order to escape. There’s usually a one-hour time limit, and in our case we weren’t able to solve all the clues in this allotted time.

As we head into 2020, I’m convinced that an escape room is a fitting metaphor for many people’s condition. Feeling “stuck” in one or more areas of our life, we’re searching for clues to escape our humdrum existence and rediscover our zest for living.

A few days ago, I had a conversation about this with a friend named Marcus. “Why doesn’t God give me some clues about what I’m supposed to be doing?” he complained.

I could sympathize with my friend’s frustration. Marcus was dealing with a number of situations that seemed to have no remedy. Although he could quote Bible promises about God providing us with “a way of escape” in times of temptation or trouble (1 Corinthians 10:13), something was clearly missing.

At that moment, I remembered the escape room I’d encountered in Ohio. You see, an escape room contains all the clues necessary for success. In fact, most of the clues are within plain sight, but simply overlooked until someone on the team points them out.

So I explained to my friend that God had probably already given him all the major clues he needed. “Take another look around the ‘room’ you’re in,” I told him. “What are some clues from your past that point the way toward God’s plan for your future?”

Marcus still struggled to think of any clues that would open the door to his escape.

“Even though you don’t like your present circumstances, take a few moments to remember events that brought you exceptional joy and fulfillment in the past,” I encouraged him. “Those experiences are powerful clues to God’s calling and purpose for your life.”

I reminded Marcus of a quote from famous Olympic runner Eric Liddell, “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

Then I asked, “Marcus, what are some times in your life when you sensed God’s pleasure in a special way?”

Soon my friend was recounting several joy-filled times when he had notably experienced God’s presence and pleasure. However, Marcus was troubled by the fact that most of his time and energy in recent years had been diverted to other activities – having nothing to do with the pursuits that once had brought him great joy. “No wonder I’ve felt locked in an escape room,” he concluded. “To make it worse, I feel like time is running out on the clock.”

“But Marcus, think of all the progress you’ve already made in the past few minutes!” I pointed out. “You’ve discovered some clues to the things that bring you joy and glorify God in your life. And if you patiently and persistently follow those clues, I’m confident you’ll find your way of escape!”

Despite our conversation, Marcus hasn’t experienced a complete new beginning yet. As for any of us, his liberation is a process. Yet our escape begins with recognizing the clues God has already placed in the “room” where we find ourselves – and Marcus is well on his way.

Open Eyes, Open Doors

One of the significant ingredients of an escape room experience is that it requires teamwork. No individual is capable of spotting all the clues.

In the same way, we each have blind spots regarding our own strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes God sends us a friend to illuminate a clue we’ve been missing.

It’s amazing how blind we can be to a clue that seems unmistakable in retrospect. For example, I love the story in Luke 24:13-27 where the resurrected Christ appears to two disciples who were walking on the road to Emmaus. Despite having quite a conversation with the Savior, they didn’t even recognize Him!

In the same way, Jesus is walking on the roadway next to you and me today. We can complain all we want about needing more clues to discover our purpose and destiny. But the biggest clue of all is standing right before us. We just need to have our eyes opened to recognize Him.

So, if you find yourself locked in an escape room as you begin another year, don’t despair. You just need to recognize the Lord’s presence and take notice of the clues He’s placed all around you.

Your escape may be closer than you think. Soon you will knock, and the door will open!

Several weeks ago, my oncologist told me my cancer is in remission. Great news!

But then I realized I didn’t really know what “remission” means. While the dictionary says remission is “a temporary or permanent decrease or subsidence of manifestations of a disease,” I sensed there was a bigger and more profound message for me. Perhaps for you as well.

Yes, it’s certainly wonderful to gain remission from cancer. But I began to see that this is also an opportunity for something new and exciting to occur: a fresh start in my life’s mission. So I’ve begun to change the spelling to “re-mission.”

I’m convinced that nothing is more energizing than knowing what your God-given mission is. Yet sometimes it takes a crisis like cancer to jar us out of our comfort zone so we can rediscover that mission.

Hey, when you’re not sure how much longer you have to live, you are forced to prioritize your time and energy. Focus is needed. Distractions and diversions must go.

I love how the Bible says King David “completed the work God set out for him” (Acts 13:36 MSG). What a remarkable tribute. I hope the same can be said of you and me some day.

For each of us, there’s a unique mission that must be completed before we die. When baby Jesus was presented in the Temple, one of the people who testified of His identity was Simeon. This prophetic man had already lived a long life, but the Holy Spirit had revealed to him that “he would not die until he had seen the Lord’s Messiah” (Luke 2:25-26 NLT).   

I get excited when I read Simeon’s story. Just as for him, there are certain things God wants to do in each of our lives before we pass into eternity.

Perhaps you’ve heard the renowned quote from William Barclay: “There are two great days in a person's life ­– the day we are born and the day we discover why.” As we head into 2020, I pray God will give us that kind of 20-20 vision. That kind of re-mission will reinvigorate us more than anything else can.

When someone recently posted on Facebook that the final full moon of the decade would occur this year on December 12 (12/12) at preciously 12:12 a.m. Eastern Time, I found myself getting really excited. Wow, what a rare occurrence: 12.12.12.12.

My excitement had nothing to do with stargazing or astrology, but was simply because this unusual event reminded me of the amazing biblical significance of the number 12.

You see, when the number 12 occurs in the Bible, it generally represents ORDER and INCREASE—two things we all greatly need.

For example, order is shown by God’s instructions to arrange the Israelites according to 12 tribes and by Jesus’ selection of 12 original apostles. This theme extends all the way to the end of the book of Revelation, where the New Jerusalem is described as having 12 gates, guarded by 12 angels, with a wall that had 12 foundations (Revelation 21:12-14).

I’ve come to treasure God’s divine order, but it’s often elusive. I frequently find my life in disarray, much like the early creation: “without shape or form” (Genesis 1:2 CEB). At such times, I recognize my need for God’s Spirit to fill my heart and hover over my life, bringing His order to my time, relationships, priorities, and resources.

However, God’s order isn’t the only thing I need. I also need Him to give me His supernatural increase, for Psalm 115:14-15 says, “The Lord, who made heaven and earth”…wants to “give you increase more and more, you and your children.” Accordingly, I’m asking Him to multiply my resources so that I have more abundance at the end of the coming year than I do at its beginning.

Changing Our Perspective

One story in Scripture beautifully illustrates the different strands of the 12.12.12.12 message. In Mark 6:34-44, Jesus and the 12 disciples confronted the same dilemma many Christian leaders face today: overwhelming needs but seemingly limited resources. The disciples logically concluded that they were unable to feed the hungry multitudes, so they should just “send them away” (v. 36).

Have you ever made a similar decision? I have, more times than I would like to admit.

Yet Jesus displayed an entirely different perspective on the apparently hopeless situation: “You give them something to eat,” He told the disciples (v. 37).

As the story continues, we see a fascinating progression of questions—the same thought processes we must use when we face difficult situations today:

• What is the need? Sometimes we face a crisis in our own life, where we need God to bring His order and increase. More often, though, we’re called upon to remedy some need in the lives of others. This is what the disciples faced in Mark 6. From a human perspective, they evaluated the needs quite well, accurately calculating the immense amount of bread required to feed such a huge crowd.

• What do we have? It’s important to realize that God although never requires what we don’t have, He expects us to freely surrender what we DO have. He can turn a simple shepherd’s staff into the rod of God…use the jawbone of a donkey to slay the enemy…or kill huge giants with a slingshot and a stone. So it’s no problem for Him to multiply loaves and fish. However, the miracle can’t begin until we put our resources—no matter how meager they may seem—into His outstretched hands.

• Have we put things in order? It’s interesting that the disciples had to put things in ORDER before the INCREASE came: “He commanded them [the disciples] to make them [the crowd] all sit down in groups on the green grass.So they sat down in ranks, in hundreds and in fifties” (vs. 39-40). If you’re waiting for your increase today, it may well be that God is waiting on you to first make the necessary preparations. Perhaps you remember the story in 2 Kings 3:16-20, where God told people that if they would first dig trenches in the valley, He would be faithful to fill the trenches with water.

• Do we have our “baskets” ready? Often I hear believers say they’re expecting God to bless them with an increase, yet they’ve done absolutely nothing to demonstrate faith and expectancy for that kind of outcome. After Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes they had given Him, the disciples “picked up 12 full baskets of broken pieces” (v. 43). In the hands of Jesus, their paltry resources not only were enough to meet the need—they were MORE than enough. Friend, that’s what increase looks like. Rather than being like the Israelites’ hand-to-mouth existence while eating manna in the wilderness, it’s a life of overflowing abundance, a cup that “runs over” and blesses others (Psalm 23:5, Genesis 12:2).

The 12 disciples brought their resources to Jesus and made sure the massive crowd was put into order. The miraculous result was 12 full baskets of leftovers!

Do you see why I’m so excited about the number 12 and the message of 12.12.12.12?

I pray today—for myself and for you—that we’ll allow the Spirit of God to order our lives according to His perfect plan. May we also put all of our resources into His hands, trusting Him to supernaturally bless and multiply them. Once we’ve done these two things, it’s time get our baskets ready for an INCREASE!

People battling illness or other serious trials often turn to the book of Job looking for some kind of explanation for what’s happening to them. Although it’s unlikely our situation is even a fraction of the horrendous things Job endured, he becomes our model nevertheless.

If you remember the story, Job’s friends were convinced his suffering was God’s judgment on hidden sin in his life. They were sincere and passionate in their theology, yet they were totally misguided in applying their assumptions to their friend Job.

To the contrary, when the curtain to the unseen realm is pulled back, readers see God boasting to Satan about Job’s exceptional virtue: “There is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil” (Job 1:8).

What a great endorsement of Job’s character, and coming from Almighty God Himself!

So make no mistake about it: God wasn’t mad at Job. Nothing that happened to this righteous man was because of divine displeasure. In fact, Job’s trials were actually part of the Lord’s plan to bless Him in even greater ways. His story would conclude with a happy ending and a supernatural upgrade: “The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning” (Job 42:12).

Despite his understandable bewilderment during his trials, Job somehow realized he would exit the crucible of affliction a better man. “[God] knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10).

I’ve always loved this verse. What a great declaration about trusting God to use every adverse situation in our life for our ultimate good. In the furnace of our affliction, He is producing pure gold.

However, I’ve never noticed the surprising context, where the preceding verses make Job’s statement even more amazing:

Look, I go forward, but He is not there,
And backward, but I cannot perceive Him;
When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him;
When He turns to the right hand, I cannot see Him (Job 23:8-9).

I find this confession stunning. During the first part of his ordeal, Job was unable to “feel” the Lord’s presence at all. Although He trusted that God was somehow at work on His behalf, there were no goose bumps. Try as he might, he couldn’t perceive the Lord’s hand in his circumstances or understand why all this was happening to him.

Like Job, this was my experience during the first part of my battle against cancer. I trusted in God’s love and goodness, but I struggled to feel His presence amid my unpleasant symptoms and the side effects of chemo.

Yes, I clung to verses about the Lord being with us “in the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4) and when we pass through difficult circumstances (Isaiah 43:1-5). However, for months I didn’t have any reassuring feelings that He was truly walking with me on this difficult journey. And though I hoped for a positive outcome, it was hard to envision how that could happen.

During this season when God seemed unusually silent, someone posted a helpful perspective on Facebook: When you trust everything into God’s hand, you will eventually see God’s hand in everything.

I like that! We are sometimes called upon, like Job was, to trust God even when we can’t see or feel His loving arms around us.

So what does it take to experience a turnaround? In Job’s case, there was a pivotal verse where he finally began to sense what God was showing him through his circumstances: “Behold, these are the fringes of His ways; and how faint a word we hear of Him!” (Job 26:14).

After years of feeling the smug satisfaction of knowing he was an exceptionally upright and virtuous man, Job finally understood an awful truth: Although he had been doing all the right “religious” things, he was still only on the outer edges of God’s plan for his life. Instead of having an intimate daily relationship with the Lord, he was only hearing God’s voice faintly and sporadically.

Why had Job never noticed this before? Part of the problem was that he and his friends spent far too much time comparing their righteousness to one another. As 2 Corinthians 10:12 would later tell us, that’s never a good idea – even though we’re all prone to do it.

Job’s story also reveals another sad reality: Far too often, our knowledge of God is based on mere hearsay, not direct experience. We can quote our pastor, our friends, some Instagram memes, and our favorite TV preachers and authors, but we rarely have an encounter with the Lord Himself.  

During the climactic final scene of Job’s story, he finally begins to recognize this: “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You; therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5-6).

You see, when Job compared himself to his friends, he felt proud of his spirituality. But when He finally caught a glimpse of God’s awesome holiness, all he could do was humble himself and repent.

People always wonder why Job had to go through such terrible trials. Although there are many possible ways to explain the lessons in this story, part of the answer is simply this: God wouldn’t allow Job to remain on the fringe of His purposes.

The trials Job faced weren’t a sign of God’s judgment, but quite the contrary: The Lord wanted to bless him in new ways, beyond Job’s wildest dreams.

Yet none of that would have been possible if Job had stayed content to remain on the fringe. If given the choice, Job may have been content to cling to the blessings he was already experiencing, as described in chapter one. But God had a far greater dimension of intimacy and abundance in mind for Job – right on the other side of his trials.

Looking back on my decades of life, I realize there have been many times when I was content to languish on the fringe of God’s ways. Perhaps you have too. Sadly, when we’re fairly comfortably on the fringe, we often don’t even recognize what we’re missing.

Until the heat was on, Job didn’t have a clue about his true condition. He had fallen into the common trap of comparing himself to those around him, instead of comparing himself to God’s awesome holiness. He was content to be “the greatest of all the people of the East” instead of being truly great in God’s kingdom (Job 1:1-3).

Amid Job’s horrific circumstances, God was working all things together for his good (Romans 8:28). If it hadn’t been for his trials, Job might have been content with a “hearsay” relationship with the Lord, never recognizing that he was merely living on the fringe.

Aren’t you tired of living on the fringe of God’s purposes for your life? I sure am.

So let’s go deeper in our relationship with the Lord and dive into the very center of His will. When we leave the fringe, we’ll experience an amazing new beginning of adventure, fulfillment, and impact.

It’s humbling to discover you’re not indispensable. This unpleasant experience happened to me a few months ago when I had to go on medical leave from work.

The whole thing was unimaginable. Within days I went from having a full-time job I loved to no longer even having a workable scan key to get me into the building.

Most humbling of all was having to encounter the painful Myth of Indispensability. Put simply, this myth says people can’t survive without us. We’re irreplaceable and thus have unlimited job security.

To be honest, it feels good to think you’re indispensable. You feel like a person of exceptional importance, with skills no one else possesses. What an ego trip.

However, humbling as it has been, I discovered in recent months that the world at Inspiration Ministries was quite capable of going on without me. To my deep regret, the suddenness of my departure certainly made things much more difficult for everyone, but they rose to the occasion and life went on.

Is anyone truly indispensable? Perhaps you’re somewhat irreplaceable in your role as a spouse, parent, or grandparent. But in just about any other setting someone else could take your place.

Some of us predicted the quick demise of the Apple brand after the untimely death of Steve Jobs in 2011. But although they lost a great innovator when Steve died, they somehow are doing quite well without him.

Throughout the Bible, we see the Myth of Indispensability confronted…

• How could anyone replace an amazing leader like Moses? Yet the Israelites’ leadership passed into the hands of Moses’ 40-year understudy, Joshua. Although Joshua must have experienced considerable trepidation at his new assignment, he was encouraged by the Lord to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:1-9). The result? Joshua took God’s people further into their destiny than Moses has been able to do.
• Elijah seemed like a unique and totally irreplaceable prophetic voice. “I alone am left,” he grumbled to God (1 Kings 19:10). Yet the Lord told him to quit complaining and go train his replacement, Elisha (v. 16). Not only did Elisha perform many of the same miracles as Elijah, but Bible scholars point out that he seems to have done twice as many as his mentor!
• Queen Esther appeared to be the only person with even a small chance of defeating Haman’s plot to annihilate the Jewish people. Yet Esther’s cousin Mordecai told her something incredible: “If you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place” (Esther 4:14). Even Queen Esther was replaceable in fulfilling the purposes of God. If she wasn’t willing to step up to the occasion, Mordecai was confident the Lord would find someone else.

The Indispensability of Jesus

Far beyond these other examples, Jesus provided us with the most stunning example of the Myth of Indispensability. On the one hand, He’s the only Person in the universe who truly IS indispensable. His disciples came to understand this, so they must have been shocked and dismayed when He assured them that it would be to their advantage when He no longer walked with them in His physical body (John 16:7).

While the disciples must have wondered how they would even survive Jesus’ physical departure, He told them they would actually thrive. They would do the same works He had done when He was with them…and even greater works (John 14:12).

You see, Jesus was the kind of leader who recognizes the folly of the Myth of Indispensability. He easily could have told His disheartened disciples, “Guys, you clearly suck at this leadership stuff, and things are bound to fall apart after I’m gone.”

Instead, Jesus said just the opposite. He assured them they would receive such great power from the Holy Spirit that they would be able to extend His kingdom far beyond Jerusalem and Judea…to the very ends of the earth (Acts 1:8).

Notice the stark contrast: Insecure leaders, like King Saul, try to hold on to the reigns of power rather than invest themselves in the next generation. Exceptional leaders, like Jesus, confront the Myth of Indispensability by freely dispensing their lives into the lives of others.

If we are truly “indispensable” in our leadership role, something is clearly wrong. It’s a clear indication that, over the course of months or years, we’ve failed to dispense ourselves into those who are called to carry the leadership baton into the future.

But we’ve all seen churches that end up shutting down after the founding pastor dies or must leave his post for some other reason. And countless businesses have to be sold or shut down when the original owner can no longer provide leadership. How sad. Success without a successor often ends in failure.

So what lessons can we learn when forced to admit we’re not as indispensable as we thought? Painful as this experience is, it’s also amazingly liberating. It leads to an acknowledgement that the government of the universe doesn’t rest on our shoulders, but on the Lord’s (Isaiah 9:6-7).

Facing our limitations and vulnerabilities will also help us focus on the Biblical mandate to train our replacement. We’ll be challenged to greater intentionality in dispensing our lives into the lives of others in the months and years ahead.

When the Myth of Indispensability is shattered in your life, it can feel pretty traumatic. I picture it like the scene in the Wizard of Oz where the curtain is pulled back on the “great and powerful Oz.” How embarrassing…

But it’s time to come out from behind the curtain, acknowledging our dispensability and our need for others. Instead of trying to impress people with our own importance, we can transform lives by helping people unleash their own remarkable potential.

As most of my closest friends already know, doctors have recently diagnosed me with cancer. Unbelievable. I certainly never thought it would happen to me.

Although this is supposedly a highly “treatable” form of cancer, that’s not particularly comforting. In the old days, cancer was virtually a death sentence, which has caused me to reflect on some insightful words from the apostle Paul:

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death (2 Corinthians 1:8-9 NIV).

Paul wasn’t dealing with a cancer diagnosis at the time, yet his overwhelming circumstances and tribulations felt like “the sentence of death.” While Paul would write elsewhere of God’s faithfulness in providing a way of escape during times of trouble or temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13), here he admitted that the trials seemed “far beyond our ability to endure.”

You see, cancer isn’t the only circumstance that can feel like a death sentence. In Paul’s case, he encountered severe persecution and countless other hardships (2 Corinthians 11:23-33). For you, the problem may be a job loss, insurmountable financial pressures, divorce, or addiction in your family.

I’m really glad Paul honestly shared about his tumultuous circumstances and inner turmoil. It’s somehow comforting to know that the mighty apostle – God’s man of faith and power – had his own dark days. Yes, Paul knew how to pray, but sometimes he experienced the Lord’s sustaining grace despite a “thorn in the flesh” that refused to immediately go away (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

Thankfully, Paul learned an incredible lesson amid his apparent death sentence: “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:9).

What a great message for us when we encounter overwhelming challenges in life. The purpose of our trials is to teach us to rely upon the Lord instead of upon our own strength and ingenuity. Even if it seems we’ve been given “the sentence of death,” we have nothing to fear: Our God even raises the dead!

No matter what you might be facing today, I hope you experience the joy of knowing you have nothing to fear. How liberating!

In my situation, I know there’s a Name far above the name of cancer (Ephesians 1:19-21). For that reason, I have no need to fear cancer, chemo, or even death itself (Hebrews 2:14-15).

Actually, since the days of Adam and Eve, all of humanity has been under a death sentence – it’s just a matter of time (Hebrews 9:27). However, because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, death has lost its sting (1 Corinthians 15:53-57). As believers, we know a day will come when we’ll be “absent from the body.” But that’s okay, Paul says. When that day comes, we’ll be “present with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8).

Like the three Hebrew young men who faced the prospect of a fiery furnace, I’m confident that “the God we serve is able to deliver” (Daniel 3:17-18). Isn’t that good news?

Paul’s conclusion ended up being remarkably similar:

[God] has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many (2 Corinthians 1:10-11).

Paul’s confidence of victory over his present and future trials was partly based on how God had faithfully rescued him in the past. Can you relate? If the Lord has helped you overcome some previous “death sentence,” He can surely do it again.

It’s also beautiful to see Paul’s recognition that the prayers of his friends would play a huge role in His expected victory. In recent weeks, I’ve never had so many people praying for me – and I know they’ll share in my victory when it comes.

Although I don’t fully know what lies ahead for me on this health journey, I’m sure God will be with me every step of the way. And if you are passing through a dark, shadowy valley during your own journey today, let me assure you of His presence with you as well (Psalm 23:4).

The Bible warns that this life will not be trouble-free, even for believers (John 16:33). But although you may have to pass through deep waters or fiery trials at times, Isaiah 43:1-3 says to fear not!

Of course, the natural human response is to desire immediate deliverance from our difficult circumstances. That is certainly my preference as well. I know that God is a supernatural God, and He can change things in a mere moment.

However, in spite of my desire for speedy relief, I have an even greater desire that my journey will reflect the heart of Jesus. His soul was troubled as He neared the cross. But instead of praying for an escape plan, He said, “Father, glorify Your name!” (John 12:27-28).

May that always be our quest, for there is no greater victory.

Father’s Day is a special time for families—but that doesn’t mean it’s always an easy time. Like any holiday, Father’s Day can either be pleasant or painful, magical or mayhem. It’s a great opportunity to reflect on the heritage you’re leaving as a parent or grandparent, but that can be a cause for either celebration or concern.

Picture the family line of a good friend of mine. If the whole gang could somehow be brought together for a family reunion, I can only imagine the sparks that would fly.

• One of my friend’s female ancestors slept with her father-in-law and bore him twin boys.
• Another member of the family tree was a prostitute, known for being a very convincing liar.
• The family line included someone from a despised ethnic group that had its origins in incest between a father and daughter.
• Two ancestors were involved in an adulterous relationship, and the man ultimately killed his lover’s husband to keep the affair from being discovered.
• Several ancestors had multiple wives, and others were known for worshiping idols.

And you think you have some crazies in your family lineage?! The good news is that God is able to redeem terrible situations like these and transform them with His amazing grace.

How do I know? Because the Friend I’m referring to is Jesus.

Jesus’ genealogy in Matthew 1 reveals all of the sinful and dysfunctional ancestors I’ve described, and yet this was the human lineage of the Son of God. Instead of being able to boast of a spotless family lineage, the Bible describes our spotless Lord and Savior as “a root out of dry ground” (Isaiah 53:2).

So what does this mean for you and me? Several things:

1. Experiencing and extending God’s grace. You need to experience God’s grace and then extend it to your imperfect, dysfunctional family members—just as you’re hopeful they will offer grace to cover your If the twisted members of Jesus’ family tree could find grace enough to become a part of His royal lineage, then surely there’s hope for your weird relatives as well.
2. No more blame-shifting. It’s time to quit blaming others and making excuses for our past. Sure, your family upbringing may have been a mess. But God stands ready to turn your MESS into your MESSAGE—if you’ll let Him. Through divine intervention, your family tree can undergo a new beginning today. You don’t have to fall into the same old sins and strongholds of your earthly heritage, because you’ve been redeemed from the “futile way of life inherited from your forefathers” (1 Peter 1:18). In Christ, you’re a new creation, no matter who your earthly ancestors were (2 Corinthians 5:17).
3. Facing the facts. If I were writing the book of Matthew, I would have been tempted to doctor the records and “sanitize” Jesus’ family tree. Couldn’t Matthew have just listed all the success stories and none of the embarrassments of Jesus’ ancestors? Yet the beauty of the gospel is that it transforms sinners—people like you and me. If people were already perfect, they wouldn’t need to be transformed. So the next time you wish you could erase some names from your family tree, think again. Face the truth, and let it set you free (John 8:32).

During this special holiday, perhaps you’ll experience some regrets or face some things that deserve repentance. Yet as you allow God’s grace and mercy to fill your heart, you will be able to see your heritage in a new light, celebrating your family lineage more wholeheartedly than ever before.

Armed with this new grace-inspired vision, I pray the Lord will use you to bring hope and healing to those around you who need it most.

Recently I woke up thinking about an intriguing phrase in Paul’s statement to the Colossians:

²⁷ to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. ²⁸ We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. ²⁹ For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me (Colossians 1:27-29 NASB).

Wow. Paul knew what his purpose in life was! He realized he had a mission to proclaim Christ and make disciples, and he also recognized that God’s mighty power within him was enabling him to fulfill that mission.

So what is YOUR mission and MY mission? Do we have a clear grasp on the answer to that question?

Of course, to some extent our mission should be exactly the same as Paul’s – the Great Commission given to every Christian. However, in other ways, our purpose is a unique and personalized calling the Lord has given us. For example, Paul and Peter were contemporaries and both were apostles. Yet they didn’t have exactly the same calling and focus.

A few more thoughts…

• Paul said he had been given a “high calling” and “upward call of God” (Philippians 3:14). In the same way, we should recognized that we’re called to go HIGHER! We must resist the temptation to settle for a LOW or substandard Christian life.

• Acts 13:36 says David “served the purpose of God in his own generation.” That should be our objective too! In each generation, God has certain things that are particularly on His heart. Do we know what He desires to do in this generation?

• For each of us, there are SEASONS for how God’s calling is being walked out in our lives (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Ecclesiastes 8:5). For example, when we’re raising young children we must inevitably give that responsibility a great deal of our time and attention.

So…

I encourage you to prayerfully write a personalized mission statement like Paul did, ending with his conclusion: “for this purpose I labor.”

Psalm 84:5 promises, “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage.”

Blessings to you on the pilgrimage to your high calling!

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, I find myself thinking about what it takes for someone to be beautiful even in their old age. I’ve concluded there’s no better example than Sarah, the wife of Abraham and mother of Isaac.

In addition to being beautiful in her later years, Sarah also was fruitful and honoring – rare qualities indeed, especially in today’s world. Let’s look at how this was possible:

      BEAUTIFUL: If a woman is attractive in her youth, we often attribute it to genetics. But in order to be beautiful in old age, the source is usually the person’s attitude, character, and countenance.

In Genesis 20, we see Sarah as a beautiful woman nearing 90 years old – so attractive that King Abimelech attempted to take her as his wife! What a stunning and flabbergasting story. Wouldn’t any woman today want to look like that at age 90?

We know Sarah’s secret wasn’t Botox beauty, so it must have been something more. Somehow she developed an inner radiance that transcended her age.

Peter explained this when describing how Sarah remained so beautiful:

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful (1 Peter 3:3-5 NLT).

Let’s be honest: Peter’s advice seems woefully out of step with the times in which we live.

• Beauty that comes from within? What a quaint idea!
• Unfading beauty, based on a woman’s spirit rather than her body or her attire? Much too idealistic!

However, this is exactly the kind of beauty Sarah displayed. Not only was it “precious to God,” but it also was appealing to people. While priceless, this rare beauty was something money couldn’t buy. In the midst of the trials, disappointments, transitions, and injustices of Sarah’s life, her joyful, peaceful countenance enabled her to remain gorgeous beyond her years.

      FRUITFUL: When Sarah overheard the angels tell Abraham she would bear him a son at age 90, she laughed. Wouldn’t you?

Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son” (Genesis 18:13-14 NLT).

Have you ever laughed at the promises God made to you? I bet you have, because His promises always require something more than your natural ability. Divine promises are worthless unless accompanied by divine enablement.

So notice: Although it’s wonderful that Sarah was beautiful in her senior years, don’t forget that God also supernaturally enabled her to be fruitful, bearing Isaac when she was 90. How does this apply to us? While there’s no guarantee our fruitfulness in life will include having children, it will always include having an impact on the lives of others.

That’s why I’m grieved whenever I meet elderly people who’ve given up on having an impact. Don’t they know someone they can share the Gospel with or encourage? Don’t they have children, grandchildren, or friends who could profit from their wisdom?

Look at what the psalmist said about this:

Those who are planted in the house of the Lord
Shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age;
They shall be fresh and flourishing (Psalm 92:13-14 NKJV).

Although I don’t know how much longer I will live, I want to “still bear fruit in old age.” Even in my waning years, I hope I’ll remain “fresh and flourishing.”  

In the case of Sarah, her greatest “fruitfulness” didn’t occur until she was age 90. What a powerful lesson for us, encouraging us that our most meaningful impact may still be years ahead.

      HONORING: Peter’s description of Sarah includes another statement that is completely mind-blowing when applied to today’s culture:

Our “mother,” Sarah, devoted herself to her husband, Abraham, and even called him “master” (1 Peter 3:6 TPT).

At the moment, I’m not in the mood for a debate about marriage and gender roles, but instead I want to point out a larger principle here: Even in her old age, Sarah was still able to show honor, respect, and gratitude to her husband and others.

This is no small matter! If you took time to interview people at a retirement center, you would soon discover that there are two kinds of people there. Some are the sweetest, kindest people you would ever want to meet. They are full of stories about God’s goodness and the great life they’ve had. As they reflect on people they’ve known along the way – or on their current life in the retirement center – they express tremendous gratitude.

However, you’ll meet others who are cynical, bitter, and cranky in their old age. They will tell you endless stories of life’s injustice and the people who’ve done them wrong. Instead of showing honor and gratitude to those around them, they act as if they’re the center of the universe, entitled to have people serve them.

Sarah could have been like this second group. She had ample reason to be resentful toward her husband’s twists and turns, like the time he felt led to leave their homeland without any clear destination in sight! And how could she forgive his shenanigan in calling her his “sister” so the king wouldn’t kill him in order to take Sarah for himself?

Like Sarah, we all have choices to make about whether we will maintain a good attitude or bad attitude…express gratitude or grumble…honor others or harbor a critical spirit. Let us choose wisely!

My prayer is that we will be like Sarah – beautiful, fruitful, and honoring in our old age. And no matter what our current age might be, today is a great day to start cultivating those three wonderful qualities.

Did Jesus ever make a prediction that turned out to be false? It certainly seemed so when He said upon hearing that His friend Lazarus was sick, “This sickness will not end in death” (John 11:4 NIV).  

If you know the story of Lazarus, you remember that his sickness did indeed result in death. In fact, by the time Jesus arrived on the scene, his friend had already been in the tomb for four days.

Not only was Lazarus dead, but the situation had already become stinky. “By this time there is a bad odor,” Martha reported to Jesus (v. 39).

At first glance, people could have concluded that Jesus had simply been wrong. Despite His prediction to the contrary, the illness of Lazarus had obviously ended in death.

But this was not end of Lazarus’ story. Yes, if we would have put the movie on pause at this point, we would have assumed that death was the final scene – but that was not the END.

There is a profound and life-changing lesson here – especially if you’re dealing with circumstances that seem disappointing or smelly.

No matter how dire your present circumstances may look, when Jesus is on the scene they aren’t the end of the story. Mirroring His words in John 11, I encourage you to declare today that the ending of your present story will be God’s glory and your restoration.

• Has your marriage or an important relationship fallen apart? This is not the end!
• Have you suffered a devastating financial setback? This is not the end!
• Are you disappointed by choices your children or grandchildren are making? This is not the end!
• Are you frustrated by lingering health issues? This is not the end!
• Do you feel spiritually unfruitful, craving a life of greater impact? This is not the end!
• Have you prayed persistent prayers that still remain unanswered? This is not the end!

When I read the story of Lazarus, I’m struck by how Jesus disregarded the request of Martha and Mary to come and heal their brother. At first, this may seem calloused or even mean. However, Jesus had a very good reason for ignoring their request for a healing: He wanted to give Lazarus a resurrection!

So if you’re frustrated by some unanswered prayer today, consider that God may want to do something much greater for you than you’ve been asking (Ephesians 3:20).

We see this same principle in Luke 5:1-11, where the fishermen had worked hard all night and caught nothing. They probably would have been satisfied with just an ordinary catch of fish, but Jesus wanted to do something far greater for them – something EXTRAORDINARY.

To their surprise, the frustrating efforts of these fishermen were not the end of the story. The night had seemed destined to end in failure, but a miracle catch of fish was right around the corner when they followed Jesus’ instructions.

Although it may not sound very manly of me, I’ve grown to enjoy Hallmark movies. There’s not really much suspense, because you know from the beginning of every story that there will be a happy ending. Despite many ups and downs along the way, the main characters are destined to live happily ever after.

Friend, I don’t know how your story is looking at the moment. But I do know this: God is planning a happy ending for you. Your present circumstances are not the END, so don’t give up on the movie until it reaches its conclusion.

I encourage you to face your disappointing circumstances head on today and declare through faith in God’s faithfulness: THIS IS NOT THE END!

When I entered the Twitter world in May 2012 with @BestBibleTweets, I set a goal that seemed audacious at the time: gaining 4,000 followers within one year. However, that goal was surpassed in just six months, and now I’ve reached 45,000 Twitter followers.

Although this accomplishment is exhilarating in many ways, it’s also a time of sober reevaluation. At each new milestone, I’ve found myself facing honest questions, like “Do Twitter followers count for anything in eternity?” … “Are any lives really changed?” … And “Do my supposed followers even read my tweets?”

Reaching the 45,000-follower mark seems pretty amazing from a biblical standpoint. You probably remember the story of Jesus feeding 5,000+ hungry people on a Galilean hillside. When women and children are counted, it’s likely that around 15,000 people were fed, which was only a third of my present number of Twitter followers. How would Jesus disciple people in the Age of Twitter?

Although the loaves and fish story is one of my favorite events in the Bible, it had a troubling aftermath.

After Jesus fed the multitudes in John 6, He began to explain the cost of true discipleship. Instead of just involving miracles and free meals, it turned out that a real follower had to “eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood” (v. 53). Hmmm…so much for easy believism or greasy grace.

And while Jesus’ day began with thousands of fair-weather followers, it ended with only the Twelve remaining. The text says that many of those who turned away after hearing His “hard teachings”  had actually considered themselves to be “disciples”  (v. 66). Yes, this is a troubling story indeed.

Jesus finally asked His 12 remaining followers, “Do you also want to go away?” (v. 67). What a question! You see, it’s one thing to say you’re following Jesus when everyone else is—when it’s the culturally expected thing to do. But what if the tide of public opinion is flowing in the opposite direction? Where will you stand in that day?

Peter’s response to Jesus’ question has often been portrayed as heroic, but I’m not sure that’s really accurate. He replied, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (v. 68).

Yes, Peter was absolutely correct that there was no one else he could follow who would be able to provide eternal life (see John 14:6). Yet his response could also be interpreted to imply several less virtuous traits: (1) Peter seems to have already given some thought to what his “other options” might be, and (2) he perhaps would have been open to some other option if it seemed a feasible alternative.

Could it be that Peter was secretly wishing there was some other Messiah who had a “kinder and gentler” message? Or was he tempted to regret that he and his fellow disciples had left behind their fishing nets, tax offices, and other occupations to put their destiny squarely in Jesus’ hands?

Regardless of what Peter may have been thinking at the time, he made the right choice in the end. So I guess it’s OK to wrestle with God’s call as long as we ultimately heed it.

I hope some of my 45,000+ Twitter followers will read this blog post. And I pray that a few will count the cost and become true disciples of Jesus.

What about you? Are you only following Christ because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do among your friends or family? Are you willing to follow even if others turn away at His hard teachings, after they’ve received their fill of miracles, bread, and fish?

Be honest.

Several weeks ago I was feeling even more arrogant than usual. I had just published two new books – not as a ghostwriter this time, but under my own name. In a four-week period, I had also preached 10 times, more opportunities than I’ve had in any other month in recent years. In addition, I’ve been thrilled about several young Christian leaders God has given me to mentor.

Feeling rather proud of myself, I thought it might be a good time to fish for a compliment from the Lord.

“Father, why is it that I’ve become so fruitful in this advanced stage of my life?” I asked Him.

I guess I was expecting God to pat me on the back and thank me for my great faithfulness. Maybe He would commend me for my prayer life or my perseverance. Or perhaps He would even say, “I don’t have many other servants as dependable as you, Jim!”

Well, God didn’t tell me anything like that. Instead, He just showed me a picture, and it was a vivid picture indeed: In my mind’s eye, I saw a farmer shoveling manure onto his beautiful, lush garden.

“Jim, you’ve become this fruitful because you’re well fertilized!” was the Lord’s only comment on my humbling vision.

If you’re a millennial, you probably think fertilizer has always come from Miracle-Gro or Monsanto. But in the old days, the best thing for growing healthier crops was manure.

The Bible describes this principle in several places. In Luke 13:6-9, Jesus told a parable about what to do when you have a barren fig tree. Perhaps you’ve never had that exact problem, but it’s likely you’ve faced some other kind of barrenness in your life at one point or another. The solution prescribed in this story was to “dig around it and put on manure” (v. 8 ESV).

Yes, manure really does have some benefits if you want to be more fruitful.

Since God showed me this word picture of “The Manure Effect,” I’ve begun to see Paul’s famous words in Philippians 3:3-10 quite differently. After listing all the things he could have boasted about, Paul wrote that he was counting all those things as “dung” (KJV), i.e., manure (Gk. skybalon).

Yes, the positive experiences in our lives are meant to provide fertilizer too – if we don’t get puffed up in the process.

New Perspectives

If you grasp this deep revelation about The Manure Effect, you will see your past in a whole new way. If you’ve experienced trials and tribulations such as betrayals, divorces, business failures, job losses, bankruptcies, sicknesses, church splits, persecutions, or bouts of depression, the Bible says to “count it all joy” (James 1:2-4). That advice seems completely nonsensical unless you understand that such things can fertilize your future hopes and dreams.

Yes, every hardship is meant to provide valuable fertilizer for your future. So rejoice! Instead of grumbling about your past failures and difficulties, thank God that He’s been fertilizing you for greater fruitfulness.

Manure stinks, but manure is inevitable. As the popular bumper sticker says, “Manure Happens!”

Yet instead of interpreting the manure in our lives as a sign of God’s displeasure, we must realize that the opposite is true: Whoever the Lord loves, He fertilizes.

So I encourage you to pause and thank Him for sending some manure your way. Don’t let it go to waste!  

Recently several people asked why it’s been so long since I’ve written a blog about the dating life of my good friend Ron. That’s a good question, especially since my blogs about Ron usually get a far bigger response than when I try to write about profound, deeply spiritual topics.

Like most bloggers, I want to be taken seriously. My goal is to change lives, not just entertain. So it’s a bit irritating when everyone just wants to hear about Ron and his ineptitude in finding a wife.

Another reason for my silence about Ron is that he actually quit dating for a while. Tired of heartbreak and constant rejection, he told me he decided to follow the example of Adam in Genesis 2, simply “waiting for God to bring him a woman.”

But when he explained this approach to a pastor friend, the friend reminded Ron of Solomon’s words in Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

“Notice, Ron,” the pastor told him with a chuckle, “it says ‘he who FINDS a wife.’ That means you can’t be passive. In order to find a wife, you need to be out there looking!”

After this conversation, Ron concluded that God was leading him to return to online dating.

“That’s fine, Ron,” I attempted to encourage him, “but what’s going to give you a better outcome than the numerous times you’ve tried that in the past?”

Ron acknowledged that his prior ventures into online dating had been disastrous. Yet he explained that he was confident in the new strategy he had this time.

“Jim, I’ve figured out what I was doing wrong,” Ron told me quite earnestly. “I was dating without having a clear vision of what I was looking for.”

“I thought you were looking for wife, Ron!” I replied jokingly. “Don’t you think it was pretty clear what you were seeking?”

“You don’t understand, Jim,” Ron retorted. “Sure I was looking for a wife, but I didn’t have a checklist of the qualities she needed to have. Without a written checklist, how could I have ever known if I found the right person?”

As so often happens when I talk with Ron, I was having a hard time restraining my laughter.

“So…let me get this straight, Ron,” I tried to reason with him, “this time you’re going to find the woman of your dreams and avoid more heartbreak – all because you’ve come up with a CHECKLIST?!”

As our conversation continued, I could tell I was getting nowhere with my friend, so I asked him to show me his checklist for the perfect woman. Knowing Ron’s reputation for being shallow in his dating relationships, I envisioned a checklist with items like these:

• Must be slim, trim, and smokin’ hot.
• Must love to clean the house and cook.
• Must enjoy attending political rallies and NFL football games.

But to my surprise, none of those things were on Ron’s 12-point list. I had to admit that he must have spent a considerable amount of time pondering the kind of wife he was looking for:

1. A devoted Christian, sincerely and passionately following Jesus
2. Filled with the Holy Spirit and knowledgeable about the teachings of God’s Word
3. Consistently kind, respectful, and encouraging, but also able to lovingly push back and speak her mind in a straightforward and truthful way
4. Servant-hearted, grateful, and generous – the opposite of a diva
5. Having a pleasant voice and radiant smile, always brightening the atmosphere of a room when she walks in
6. Not intimidated by people of high position nor condescending toward the lowly
7. A good steward of her physical health, appearance, and finances, but not obsessed or overboard
8. Not likely to be prudish about sex and physical intimacy
9. Able to be an asset and collaborator in life, family, business, or ministry
10. Relatively content within herself rather than looking to others to make her happy
11. Not having a poverty mentality but not being overly materialistic either
12. Instead of being serious all the time, possessing a good sense of humor and an ability to laugh at herself

When you look at Ron’s checklist, perhaps you think he’s setting a standard that’s much too high. Maybe you want to scream at him, “Ron, you idiot, where do you think you’ll ever find a woman like THAT in today’s world?”

However, a few months after entering the dating scene again, Ron announced to me that he had found a woman who met all 12 points on his checklist. He was thrilled…and I was amazed.

Could it be that Ron’s dating woes were finally going to come to an end? At long last, could there be a happy ending to this topsy-turvy journey?

Well, let’s just say relationships tend to be complicated…

It turned out that this woman had her OWN checklist for the ideal marriage partner. Can you guess what it said?

In contrast with Ron’s rather lengthy list of requirements, this woman’s criterion was quite simple. Instead of needing 12 qualities in order to pass her test, a suitor only had to have ONE: Her future husband must have a retirement account of a million dollars or more! Everything else was pretty much secondary if a man could pass that nonnegotiable financial threshold.

So how did this new episode in Ron’s story end? On the positive side, he had finally met the woman of his dreams. But there was just one problem: He wasn’t the man of her dreams. And he never would be until he could meet her million-dollar minimum.

As you can imagine, Ron was devastated. For several weeks, he couldn’t even talk about it.

Yet to my surprise, his optimism has now returned. So I inquired as to whether he has gotten rid of his checklist.

“Absolutely not,” he shook his head. “I just decided to add a 13^th item! My new wife must be independently wealthy, so she never needs to worry about getting any money from me.”

So my friends, how do you think things will go in the next chapter of Ron’s dating life? Will his revised checklist work? What kind of advice can you offer that would make his journey smoother?

How long does it take for God to do a miracle? In some ways, that’s a trick question. He made the entire universe in just six days, so He certainly has no trouble doing things quickly. The Bible also describes many of the Lord’s supernatural interventions as happening “suddenly,” and Jesus typically healed people’s long-standing medical conditions “immediately.”

However, while it’s good to know that God can give us instantaneous, sudden, supernatural breakthroughs, that’s not always how things work out. For example, one of my favorite Bible verses illustrates a different kind of miracle: “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 ESV).

Rather than being immediate, this other kind of miracle involves a process, and Paul aptly describes this in terms of sowing and reaping. As any farmer knows, seeds inevitably take some time to grow. Even though the farmer’s eventual harvest could be deemed a “miracle,” he must patiently wait in order to see it happen.

Paul adds an important warning to those of us who don’t receive our breakthrough as quickly as we would like: Don’t lose heart and give up!

Let me share a recent illustration from my own life. I truly feel like God did a miracle of sorts for me…but it was a miracle 25 years in the making.

A few days ago, I received the first copy of a new book I’ve written: The Church Split Cure: How to Prevent, Survive, or Recover from Congregational Conflict. I write lots of books, so this may not sound like any kind of miracle to you. But let me explain the context…

When I held the first copy of this book in my hand, I was overwhelmed by the goodness of God. Suddenly I realized (yes, suddenly…) that exactly 25 years ago I was a pastor in Ohio, undergoing a church split that would eventually cause more than half of our congregation to leave. Still to this day, it was one of the worst ordeals of my life. Long-time friends no longer trusted me. Some blamed me for the split, and it was heartbreaking to know that people I loved now considered me an enemy.

If you asked me at the time, I would have adamantly told you that nothing good—absolutely nothing—could come out of this painful and bewildering situation. Hundreds of people were hurt and disillusioned to one degree or another, and some of the greatest agony was suffered by my own family.

So, until recently, I would have said the devil won a great victory 25 years ago. The “accuser of the brethren” had his way in our church, and we all experienced a devastating defeat.

But God revised my perspective as I held that copy of The Church Split Cure in my hands. Although I still hate how the enemy divided our church, once again I can testify that God is able to redeem even the most traumatic circumstances and turn them around for good.

You see, through the anguish I experienced during that horrible church split, a seed was sown in my life that would ultimately sprout 25 years later in the form of this book. The insights contained in my book were gained “the hard way,” and I believe God will use them to help thousands of pastors and parishioners who are dealing with church conflict today.

Paul told the Corinthians he was able to impart “life” to them because of the “death” he had experienced through life’s crushing circumstances (2 Corinthians 4:12). If you’ve gone through some distressing experiences, keep Paul’s words in mind. Your pain can bring great gain to the lives of others who now can benefit from the lessons you’ve learned and the healing you’ve received (2 Corinthians 1:3-6).

What kind of miracle is God working in your life today? I hope it doesn’t take 25 more years for you to find out. But no matter how long the harvest takes, you can be sure it will be worth it all. Someday you’ll be more convinced than ever of the amazing truth Paul finally discovered:

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).

Yes, you read that right. Paul declared that ALL things can be turned around for your good and the fulfillment of God’s great purposes. That’s wonderful news, isn’t it?

Lately I’ve found myself thinking about John Rankin, a guy who was in the Christian fellowship group with me at Denison University over 40 years ago. John wasn’t one of my best friends—far from it. In fact, he was one of those people who constantly got under my skin and pushed my buttons.

Have you had people like that in your life?

John was a freshman, and I was a senior. I was the main leader of the group, and he was a newbie. Under those circumstances, you would think he would show me some respect, wouldn’t you?

My problem with John Rankin was his obnoxious arrogance. At 18 years of age, he was one of the most egotistical men I’ve ever met. And although he was a newcomer to the group, he thought he knew better than everyone else. If you look up “Know It All” in the dictionary, I bet you’ll see a picture of John Rankin.

Don’t you hate it when someone thinks they know it all?

I’ll never forget the day things came to a head in our relationship. John wanted to put his favorite song in our fellowship songbook: “Do Lord.”

Isn’t that the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard? You undoubtedly know the song: “Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me, oh Lordy…”

You see, everyone knows that silly song, which is one of the reasons it was totally unnecessary to add it to our songbook.

I also strongly objected to the song’s warped theology. I tried to explain to John that because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, we are eternally “remembered” and accepted by the Father. There’s certainly no need to beg Him to remember us!

Yes, John always wanted to change things…always thought he knew better…always wanted to get his way. The young man clearly had a spirit of control, and the songbook incident was just one of the most memorable examples.

Perhaps you’re wondering why John Rankin has been on my mind lately—over four decades since I last had contact with him. I wondered that too at first. But then I realized there’s someone in my life today who reminds me of John Rankin! Yikes… I thought I was done with him forever, and it’s as if he’s back.

Once again, my buttons are being pushed. Once again, I find myself offended by a know-it-all guy who thinks he knows better than I do. Once again, I’m going bonkers because I discern that someone has a controlling spirit.

However, I’ve concluded that God must have wanted me to learn some lessons during my encounters with John Rankin at Denison—and my encounters today with the person who reminds me of him. So I’ve asked Him to show me what’s going on here, and the lessons have turned out to be both hilarious and painful:

1. If you don’t learn what you’re supposed to learn from the first “John Rankin,” God will keep sending you other ones. Failing to learn this vital principle, people go from marriage to marriage, job to job, and church to church, trying to escape the thorny people in their life. But everywhere they go, they find someone else who pushes the same buttons! In case you haven’t realized it yet, there are John Rankins EVERYWHERE!
2. If people keep pushing your buttons, it’s time to ask God to heal those buttons so the cycle stops happening. I’ve always loved the old maxim that says, “If someone gets your goat, it just goes to show you’ve got one!” You see, God purposely sends us people He knows will offend us. Why? Because He wants to reveal and heal the hypersensitive, easily offended areas of our life. 

3. In many cases, we’re offended by people who have the same personality trait we have. One preacher calls this principle “If you can spot it, you’ve got it!” It shouldn’t have been any great mystery why I was so offended by John’s controlling spirit. I didn’t want him to be in control, because I wanted to be in control! Why was I so upset by his know-it-all attitude? Because I thought I knew better than he did! And the reason I was offended by his song selection was because I was certain my songs were better.

So now that I realize what’s going on with this phenomenon, I’m asking God to expose and heal my buttons pushed by people like John Rankin. And since my own pride has been the root cause of my offenses in these cases, the healing process is requiring me to humble myself before the Lord and admit my own tendency to be a controlling, know-it-all person who wants to get my own way.

I’ve lost touch with John Rankin over the years, but I would love to track him down somehow. John, if you’re out there somewhere, please contact me.

It would be great to find out if John Rankin is still the same arrogant, controlling person he was at Denison. And I’m sure he would wonder the same about me.

I encourage you to take a moment and sincerely thank God for the John Rankins in your life. If you allow the Lord to do His work in your heart, He will use people like that to make you more like Jesus.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year is that God can work either suddenly or slowly. I’m incredibly glad the Bible calls Him “the Lord of Breakthroughs” (1 Chronicles 14:10-11 NLT), because we all need a sudden breakthrough of His miraculous power at one time or another.

But God also presents Himself as “the Lord of the harvest” (Luke 10:2). While some harvests occur more quickly than others, this word picture is quite different than for a breakthrough.

By definition, a breakthrough is something that comes SUDDENLY, while a harvest is something that develops more SLOWLY, in response to seeds that have been sown over a period of time.

Before a harvest comes, there’s a period in which you may think nothing is happening. Although the seed is growing, it’s still in the hidden realm beneath the soil.

I’ll be honest: I’ve always liked God’s breakthroughs more than His harvests, because I like His suddenlies more than His slowlies.

That’s why I love Bible stories like the one where God “suddenly” sent an earthquake to deliver Paul and Silas from prison (Acts 16:25-26). And it’s thrilling to read about the outpouring of the Spirit on the Day of Pentecost, when the breakthrough awaited by Jesus’ followers came “suddenly” (Acts 2:1-4).

However, I’ve found that some of God’s greatest miracles happen slowly rather than suddenly. For example, aren’t you glad babies are born after a slow, nine-month process rather than just suddenly appearing on your doorstep? They come as the awaited harvest of a seed implanted months earlier.

A Kingdom Parable

Although Jesus often healed the sick, cast out demons, or raised the dead after proclaiming the nearness of God’s kingdom (Matthew 4:23-24), His parables about the kingdom often presented a much different side of the equation. For example, Jesus began His brief parable in Mark 4:26-29 (NLT) by saying, “The Kingdom of God is like a farmer who scatters seed on the ground.” 

When I read this recently, it was a LOL (Laugh Out Loud) moment. Think about it: Of all the ways Jesus could have described His mighty kingdom, He said it was like being a FARMER!

Hey, I have great admiration for farmers. But I’m a city boy, and I’ve never really thought of myself as a farmer for the kingdom of God.

Yet Jesus wanted us to know that many of the miracles in His kingdom come as the result of a process rather than an immediate breakthrough of power. Instead of the miracle in this story coming all at once, Jesus said it was progressive:

First a leaf blade pushes through, then the heads of wheat are formed, and finally the grain ripens. And as soon as the grain is ready, the farmer comes and harvests it with a sickle, for the harvest time has come (vs. 28-29).

The harvest in this story took a while to develop, but that didn’t mean the farmer had any doubts about the outcome. In fact, Jesus said this man was so confident in his seeds that he went to sleep after planting them!

The apostle Paul made a similar statement in Galatians 6:9 (NKJV):

Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Notice Paul’s unwavering confidence that the harvest would come. “We SHALL reap…” he declared. It was as good as done.

However, he also warned against our tendency to expect the harvest to always come quickly. Yes, we can be confident our harvest will come, but only “in due season.”

You see, farmers always must deal with the GAP between their season of planting and their season of harvest. No wonder patience is one of the earmarks of a good farmer (James 5:7).

And as farmers in God’s kingdom, Paul says we must “not lose heart” while we’re waiting. How sad it is when we give up hope right before our prayer is about to be answered.

Suddenly or Slowly?

So, what does all this mean on a practical level? If you are seeking a breakthrough in some area of your life today, I pray it will come soon and suddenly. And one thing is for sure: The closer you draw to “the Lord of Breakthroughs,” the better positioned you will be to receive the miracle you need.

But while you’re waiting, don’t forget about the lessons of the farmer. Although he had to wait, he was confident in an eventual harvest. He knew he had sown powerful seeds in preparation, and he was trusting the ground to do its work.

In the same way, farmers in God’s kingdom must rest securely in His great faithfulness (Lamentations 3:21-24). Our miracle may come suddenly, or it may come slowly. And in some cases, the breakthrough won’t occur until we pass into eternity.

Let me leave you with a word of advice and encouragement from the psalmist: “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” (Psalm 37:5 NKJV). This is such good news. When you commit your difficult situation to your Heavenly Father and heed His instructions, you can trust the outcome to Him. The answer may come suddenly or slowly, but He will always be faithful.

Didn’t get an invitation to Harry and Meghan’s royal wedding? No worries! Another royal wedding is coming soon, and this time you’re definitely invited.

The combined viewership in America and the UK for Harry and Meghan’s big day was nearly 50 million people, which was pretty impressive. But, in contrast, the next royal wedding is sure to be seen by billions.

While much has been made of Meghan Markle’s biracial identity, the upcoming wedding will feature a bride wonderfully composed of “every tribe and language and people and nation” (Revelation 5:9 NIV). Now THAT’S multiethnic! What a spectacle it will be.

Like Meghan, the new bride will be a commoner in comparison to her dazzling Prince. She won’t of noble birth, nor will she be considered wise or influential by human standards (1 Corinthians 1:26-29).

A scandalous royal wedding indeed!

You see, the coming wedding will make no logical sense to any onlooker. The chorus of gossips will disdainfully ask, “What could the Prince possibly see in HER?!”

Yet love is seldom rational. And more than any other wedding in human history, this will most certainly be a wedding characterized by everlasting, unconditional LOVE.

How can I be so certain about the details of this incredible event? Because the press releases have already been issued! Thousands of years ago, there was news of the song that will be sung at this wedding, and even a description of the bride’s stunning attire:

Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear (Revelation 19:6-8 NIV).

Notice that the bride “has made herself ready.” As with any bride, this may take some time! But in the end, we can be confident that she will be a beautiful sight to behold.

When Meghan reached the front of the church, Harry proudly told her, “You look amazing!” Well, the bride in the next wedding will be even more amazing than that. Not even close…

Friend, the invitations have already gone out for the upcoming royal wedding. And you’ve been invited this time!

However, there’s something you need to understand: Nothing you could ever do could make you worthy to attend this astonishing wedding. In fact, access is strictly limited to those who recognize their unworthiness.

But thankfully, it turns out that the handsome Prince first came as a Lamb, shedding His own blood to forgive your unworthiness and purchase your ticket to the wedding.

Here comes the Bride! You better get ready.

My good friend Ron is at it again. Still agonizing over what went wrong with his marriage, he wants to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistakes if he finds a new wife.

“After all these years, women are still a puzzlement to me,” he told me. “Even if God sent me a great woman to marry, at this point I’m not sure I would even know the necessary ingredients for a happy marriage.”

Ron and I had often lamented that good marriages are in short supply these days. But attempting to give my friend some guidance, I tried to offer some hope by demystifying the subject.

“Have you ever heard of the Marriage Matrix, Ron?” I asked.

“I think I may have seen the movie years ago,” he replied.

“No, Ron, I’m pretty sure there’s never been a movie on this yet,” I laughed.

Sensing a teachable moment for my good friend, I set out to describe the 6 key components of the Marriage Matrix.

“Okay, Ron,” I began, “the starting point is the principle of ONENESS. From the very beginning, God’s plan was to make the man and woman so united that they could be described as truly ‘one.’”

“Not an easy task,” Ron muttered.

“Humanly speaking, it’s an impossible task,” I chuckled. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says we need God Himself to be the ‘third strand’ that holds our union together.”

“So how’s a guy supposed to figure out whether someone could be a suitable partner?” he asked. “Sometimes I think men and women are fundamentally incompatible!”

“You’ve definitely got a point there, Ron. That’s where the Marriage Matrix comes in. When we recognize the six necessary areas of compatibility for a happy marriage, at least we know what we’re shooting for.”

I proceeded to draw a six-pointed star on the napkin at our table and began to explain what each point represented.

“The first 3 points on the star stand for the 3 fundamental areas of the human design: spirit, soul, and body. Each of these areas is a crucial part of a strong marriage foundation.”

At first Ron thought I was just giving him a bunch of religious platitudes. “That sounds nice, but how does a strong marriage reflect those 3 things?

“Each of us is a spiritual being, Ron, and a healthy marriage acknowledges and cultivates that aspect of each partner. Although it’s not always easy for a couple to pray, study the Bible, and worship together, that spiritual component is important glue in holding the relationship together. That’s why it’s generally true that ‘The couple that prays together, stays together.’”

“Okay, so all I need to do is be more spiritual, and my next marriage is guaranteed to work?” he queried with considerable skepticism.

“No, there are 5 other ingredients, Ron!” I reminded him. “For example, our soul is the area involving our mind, emotions, and personality. In terms of a marriage, it means maintaining a healthy friendship, good lines of communication, and a strong foundation of trust.”

Ron was eager to jump ahead to the next ingredient. “Okay, I think I’m beginning to get it, Jim,” he assured me. “So I guess the ‘body’ part is all about sex?”

“Well, sex is part of it, Ron,” I patiently explained. “But physical touch can involve expressing affection in a wide variety of ways, not necessarily involving intercourse at all.”  

“Spirit, soul, and body…” Ron interrupted. “Those are only 3 areas. I thought you said there are 6.”

“Glad you’ve been paying attention, Ron!” I complimented him. “The first 3 areas are foundational. But the next ingredients are also important, dealing with 3 practical pressure points that undermine many marriages today: finances, fighting, and fun.”

Ron readily acknowledged that financial problems were one of the biggest causes of his marriage breakup. “I was a miser, and my wife was a spendthrift,” he shared. “I was a fan of Dave Ramsey’s philosophy of frugality, but she hated to be confined to any budget. We also disagreed on our charitable giving and the proper amount to spend on vacations. It seems like we could never get on the same page in our handling of money.”

“Ah…conflict!” I observed. “That brings us to the fifth component of a happy marriage: fighting,”

“Don’t you mean that happy couples try to avoid fighting?” he protested.

“No, Ron, you’ve got it wrong,” I challenged him. “A couple that never fights is often in big trouble! Disagreements are an inevitable part of any relationship. So the goal is not to sweep disagreements under the rug, but rather to learn to ‘fight fair’ and come to healthy resolutions of your conflicts.”

My friend suddenly began to realize another destructive aspect of his failed marriage. “I see what you’re saying, Jim. When conflicts arose in my marriage, I tended to clam up, but my wife tended to blow up. Neither of us were very good at talking things through.”

“Well, another important part of ‘fighting fair’ is learning to forgive,” I added. “How did you and your wife do with that?”

“Not very good!” Ron confessed. “I guess we were both pretty stubborn. Sometimes we gave each other a cold shoulder for several weeks after a fight. The sun went down on our anger far too often.”

“Fighting and forgiveness definitely go together, Ron,” I pointed out. “Are you ready now for the sixth and final component of the Marriage Matrix?”

“Sure!” he encouraged me. “This has been pretty interesting. My wife and I clearly violated many of the principles you’re sharing. I just chalked it up to a ‘personality conflict,’ but it was a lot more than that.”  

“Even though friendship, trust, affection, and forgiveness are all important, the final component of the matrix is also crucial to the overall health of the relationship,” I offered. “Yet it’s something many couples – especially Christian couples – easily tend to forget.”

“I think you said the final component is about having ‘fun.’ Tell me what you mean by that.”

“Remember how we said, ‘The couple that prays together, stays together’? I asked. “Well, the other side of the equation is also true: ‘The couple that PLAYS together, usually stays together.’ Having fun and enjoying recreation together is a vital way to bond, and it also helps to replenish our emotional tank.”

“My wife and I had lots of fun and adventure before we got married,” Ron reflected. “But once we had kids and got busy in our careers, the fun was replaced. Instead of enjoying life together, we became more like business partners.”

Before praying together and asking the Lord for His help in all these things, Ron and I took a few minutes to review what we had discussed. I decided to put the 6 attributes of a happy marriage in slightly different terms:

1. Spiritual
2. Social
3. Physical
4. Financial
5. Confrontational
6. Recreational

As I described my discussion with Ron about these 6 principles, what did you learn about the strengths or weaknesses of your own marriage or past marriage? Remember: The oneness God planned for your marriage is a supernatural sort of thing, only fully possible when you die to yourself and seek His help.  

Psalm 127:1 says it well: “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” Not only is He the architect of happy marriages, but He wants to be the builder as well.