First, the relationship does not nor cannot happen spontaneously, nor does the leader have to already be friends with the pastor. Like any relationship, it takes time to build. When I took on the role of team leader for our worship pastor, we were acquaintances at best. When we first started, getting prayer requests from him was rather difficult. I had to try and catch him before or after worship rehearsal, or try to get him to email me his requests (that didn't work at all). The time was always rushed and in the middle of everyone either getting ready for, or leaving from rehearsal, which made it hectic. The requests were mostly about the ministry, and it just felt...awkward. (Kevin, if you read this, sorry about that.)
However, I knew that this was something God had called me to do, and I prayed and sought ways to make this a better experience for both of us. Over the course of time, God led us to the method that works for both of us, but more importantly, God has knit our hearts together in friendship. It has made it easier for both of us, because I can ask him things that help prompt him to think of the things he needs prayer for, and it helps him to know he can trust me with the ministry AND family/personal requests, whether it's how to word a request the "right way" or whether it's to keep a specific request unspoken for a time.
Even though the prayer support works best in the context of a relationship, it is crucial that that relationship is clearly defined and boundaries are put in place. The relationship is not just a friendship, because the boundaries of a friendship can too easily get blurry. It is that of a brother and sister in Christ, if we are talking about the male pastor and female prayer team leader, which is my frame of reference. A vital component is accountability. My husband is aware of every time I meet with the worship pastor, and is fully supportive of my ministry for him and his family and ministries, and I do my best to stay lined up under my husband's righteous authority. Even though Kevin and I meet in his office now, the door is always open. I have a couple of prayer partners that I stay accountable to in regard to my thought life, my walk with God, and how my husband and I are doing. I cannot speak specifically to how Kevin stays accountable, but I do know that our pastoral staff is all about accountability, and so there is a system in place for that.
The relationship cannot be an exclusive one, even though it is a unique relationship. It has to include bothspouses. My goal from the beginning was to build a relationship with Kevin and his family, and for our team's intercession to minister to the entire family. Like I said in my last post, if at any point it becomes a burden to the pastor or his wife/family, then something is not working. It's a bit of a challenge simply because our 2 families don't move in the same circles because their youngest child is several years older than our oldest child. So meeting outside of church activities is important, I think. We have their family in our home for dinner from time to time to continue building on that relationship between our families.
I hope that helps any of you reading this. Being a part of this prayer team for our worship pastor is one of my favorite ministries that God has let me be a part of. It is such an honor to stand in the gap for him and his family, and it has been a delight to see the hand of God move on their behalf in relation to the prayers He prompts us to pray.
Comments
And you're right, this doesn't work very well if the pastor doesn't recognize the need for this kind of prayer support.
Only in Heaven will I fully realize the incredible benefit this team of people has been to me. God willing, I will never be without the benefit of having a prayer team throughout the rest of my ministry career.