Pray Network Forum

Being old has its benefits. And I don’t just mean the senior coffees at McDonalds.

I’m old enough to know that “what goes around comes around,” and King Solomon had it right when he observed that “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). History really does have a habit of repeating itself, particularly if we fail to learn its lessons the first time around.

But recently I’ve come to appreciate another benefit of having lived awhile: I’ve seen that God is a skilled Artist who delights in “connecting the dots” in our lives. Perhaps you haven’t lived long enough to see this fantastic divine pattern yet, but I believe you will in time.

By “dots,” I mean whatever experiences, events, relationships, successes, failures, pains, or pleasures you’ve encountered during your life. Some of these dots you’ve no doubt categorized as “bad,” and other ones you’ve probably described as “good.” And if you’re anything like me, many of the dots in life simply seem random—without any apparent purpose…making absolutely no sense at the time.

Yet I have good news for you today—news so good you probably will find it hard to believe: As time goes by during your life, the Lord will increasingly connect the dots and reveal an intricate, well-planned masterpiece. Yes, He’ll connect even the dots that once made no sense. And if all the dots still don’t seem to be perfectly connected by the end of your earthly life, He will surely finish the job in eternity.

By the time God gets done with His handiwork, EVERY dot will be connected, and NOTHING will be wasted. He will find a use even for your most painful dots or and the events you considered your greatest failures.

You see, the Bible has been right all along when it told us that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Read that one more time. It doesn’t say just SOME thing work together for good—it says “ALL THINGS!”

Now take a few minutes to consider some of the “dots” you wish you could erase from your life. Believe it or not, God can do something good even with those painful or ugly dots. In the next few weeks, I’ll be launching an e-book on preventing, surviving and recovering from church splits. Sad to say, I’m one of the world’s foremost experts on the subject—but the Lord is going to use my painful and unwanted experiences to help thousands of pastors who are dealing with such things in their own churches.

And if you still doubt God’s ability to turn around tragic events and use them for His purposes, consider King David. I’m sure he wished he could erase his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband Uriah (see Psalm 51). But Bathsheba ultimately gave birth to Solomon, and she ended up in the family lineage of Jesus, the Messiah! (Matthew 1:6) God is great in mercy, isn’t He?

And in case you think God only loves you or offers you His favor when you are “good,” let me share one more connect-the-dots illustration.

Although I’ve never been much of a stargazer or astronomer, the Big Dipper is one constellation that’s always blessed and intrigued me. First of all, note that it’s not a “dipper” at all until you connect the dots of the various stars.

But what amazes me about the Big Dipper is that it’s continually tilted in such a way as to pour out its contents. My friend, that’s exactly how God wants you to see His love and favor for you. It’s not something that comes and goes, nor is it so fragile that it can easily be lost. In fact, Paul assured us that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God…nothing (Romans 8:28).

So take heart today. Nothing has happened in your life that is too awful for God to forgive or to redeem for His glory. Go ahead and give Him the dots—all of them—and you’ll be amazed by the beautiful tapestry He’ll produce.

As a child, I was pretty naïve about life. I grew up in a carefree, upper middle class, suburban family, not much different from Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver. I always assumed I would have a fairly easy life, accomplishing just about anything I wanted, and accomplishing it in my own strength.

When I became a Christian at age 18, I was pretty naïve about the life awaiting me on my journey of faith. Surely the Lord would guide me to a wonderful life, full of His provision and free from any serious trials or conflicts.

But a funny thing happened on my way to the Celestial City. To my surprise, the highway to the abundant life contained some potholes and speed bumps. My trip to the Promised Land turned out to be a hazardous journey, somewhat akin to an obstacle course.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had a great life. But “easy” wouldn’t be the first adjective I’d use to describe it.

I’ve experienced times of financial lack, as well as times of prosperity. I’ve been blessed with excellent health, but have also had a few physical trials to overcome. I’ve been known as a visionary, but sometimes have felt deep discouragement and even depression. And although I’ve had many great relationships, I’ve also known my share of conflicts, some of which are chronicled in my new e-book, The Complete Guide to Church Splits (www.ChurchSplits.com).

Perhaps you can relate to what I’m describing. Like the Israelites, God has delivered us from Egypt and set us on a pathway to the Promised Land. Yes, we’ve come to some roadblocks—like the time when the Israelites’ journey was blocked by the Red Sea—but now we can look back and see great victories.

Yet if you’re like me, you probably aren’t as naïve anymore. You’ve had some experiences you wish had never happened…some things you would like to forget.

After the Israelites’ triumph over the Egyptians at the Red Sea, they faced a trial of another kind:

Moses brought Israel from the Red Sea…And they went three days in the wilderness and found no water. Now when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter. Therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people complained against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” So he cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a tree. When he cast it into the waters, the waters were made sweet…

…Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve wells of water and seventy palm trees; so they camped there by the waters (Exodus 15:22-27).

What a fascinating story. God’s people had escaped from captivity in Egypt and had seen the Lord part the Red Sea and miraculously deliver them from Pharaoh’s army. But then they found themselves in a desolate wilderness, where there was no water. Finally, they discovered abundant water at Marah—but the water was bitter.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar place. Despite your sincere attempts to follow God’s leading, you’ve sometimes found yourself in a barren spiritual desert. And right when you think there’s some hope, the water turns out to be bitter.

We live in tough economic times in America, and many believers are finding their faith and their relationships severely tested. They feel frustrated at themselves, their boss (if they still have a boss), their spouse, their church, and perhaps toward the entire Christian life. To compound the frustration, they see a federal government that is increasingly hostile to their beliefs and values. It’s a baffling time if you’ve always had an idealistic view of life.

The truth is, we’ve all encountered the bitter waters of Marah at one time or another. However, there’s good news in this remarkable story: Bitter waters can be turned sweet.

How can this transformation occur? By applying the cross (the tree) to the situation. This requires something more than passive doctrinal assent, however. Yes, “the LORD showed [Moses] a tree,” but nothing significant happened until “he cast it into the waters.”

When applied by faith, the cross provides everything we need to reverse our toxic situations or attitudes. Through the cross…

• We receive forgiveness from God and are reconciled into an intimate relationship with Him.
• We forgive each other, as He has forgiven us.
• We die to ourselves, making it possible to obey God and serve others.
• We see our unfair and toxic circumstances from the vantage point of God’s love and His ability to triumph over evil with good.

Perhaps you’re saying in your heart at this point, “But Jim, what if I’m the only one trying to apply the cross to a toxic situation? How can it possibly work, if everyone else isn’t on board?”

Well, you are partially correct. You might not be able to transform the whole world around you into an oasis of sweet waters. Yet whenever you touch the bitter waters you face with the power of the cross, two things automatically happen: Your own attitudes change, and God is free to bring transformation to others around you as well.

But if you’ve been waiting for GOD to turn your bitter waters sweet, He may be waiting for YOU to embrace the cross and apply it to your circumstances. And instead of waiting for someone else to initiate the healing process, you may need to take the first step. Are you ready?

The story ends with an incredible message of encouragement. When you embrace the cross and die to yourself, you’ll soon be transported from a desert wilderness to a whole new land of blessing—to “Elim, where there were twelve wells of water and seventy palm trees.”

I was talking with God recently about a person who had offended me. The offense was not deeply wounding—my toes had been stepped on and there was some money involved, but really, it wasn’t a big deal. I kept telling myself that: This is not a big deal.

But then if it wasn’t a big deal, how come I couldn’t stop thinking about it?

Eventually, when the offense kept nagging at me, I reluctantly decided to pray about it. “Reluctantly,” I say, because I was embarrassed that such a small thing could consume me so.  I wished I didn’t have to admit to God how stuck I was.

But I pulled out my journal and began telling Him exactly what so-and-so had done and how angry it made me feel. My prayer was full of justifications for why it made sense for me to feel as I did. Reading over it now, I can tell you it was neither pretty nor “spiritual.” But it was honest, and I know that God desires truth in the inner places (Ps. 51:6).

After I’d poured it all out, I gave Him a chance to reply. What He said was gentle but firm: Forgive her.

Well, that’s hardly a surprise. Of course God would tell me to forgive her. The problem was, I really didn’t want to. I wasn’t proud of that, and I sure wasn’t trying to rebel against God! But despite the fact that my head agreed with God—of course I needed to forgive!—my heart was like a two-year-old about to have a tantrum.

What’s going on, Abba? Please help me! I can’t do this without your help!

His reply was immediate: What does spite look like?

An image of a woman with a permanent scowl on her face came to mind. I recognized her as someone who all her life had inwardly nursed petty offenses while saying outwardly “It’s no big deal.” If the woman had ever been attractive, she wasn’t now because her countenance was full of resentment and spite.

Oh, Father! I don’t want to look like that! I don’t want to be like that!

I immediately realized that to choose unforgiveness was also to choose resentment and spite. They are inseparable. And they have ugly consequences.

Then Father helped me to see the peace and wholeness that could be mine if I would forgive my offender and give Jesus the hurt.  My anger started to dissipate. And soon my heart joined my head in wanting to forgive her. So I did.

And they all lived happily ever after. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that, would you? So here’s the rest of the story: thoughts of the offense still return from time to time. But never as powerfully as they did before I forgave. When the thoughts come now, I remind myself that I have forgiven and I choose peace instead of spite. I ask God for help, and before long, I am peaceful again.

Moral of the story? I can’t narrow it down to just one, so here are three:

1. Forgiveness is a spiritual power struggle which cannot be won apart from the help God offers through prayer;
2. To choose not to forgive is to invite ugly emotions to take up residence in your heart and eventually your countenance;
3. Pouring out your heart to God—even (especially?) when what’s inside isn’t pretty—is always the best thing you can do. God promises to give mercy and grace in your time of need (Heb. 4:16).

What is forgiveness? Is it forgetting an event happened? Or is it surpressing the emotions the occurred surrounding the event. Is forgiveness simply saying "I forgive you" because we are required to forgive according to Matthew 18:22? Are we more eager to forgive when we have minimal contact with the person we need to forgive? If we see the person do we hide or shun them? Or are we happy and excited to see the person who offended us?

During this second semester of Elijah House the topic of "Accomplishing Forgiveness" was discussed. True Forgiveness is a supernatural act that requires God's grace. I realized I had NOT truly forgiven, I just merely mechanically forgave the person. I went through the motions of forgiveness but never investigated the emotions associated with the hurt. What hurts worse disappointments based on unspoken expectations, physical wounds or emotional wounds? They all hurt and they all need to be forgiven.

True forgiveness required me to allow Holy Spirit to me walk through that experience and identify with that other person. We were introduced to the power of the Gethesmane prayer. This was were Jesus bore our hurts, sins and pains. Where He identified with our emotions and cried out with agony to the Father, confident that he would comfort him and help him walk through true forgiveness.

So you maybe wondering where am I in the forgiveness process?

Step #1, talking to God telling him how I feel. How the hurt has affected me. How I need him to help me forgive Him, others and myself.

I am a work in progress.

Continue to pray!