Note 2.0

Into the deep

The deeper problems of the soul are pride, greed, and the hunger for power and adulation. These are the great sins of Lucifer and were acquired via the fall of humans, and we have been cursed with them ever since. ^[2] Whether it be Adam, Abraham, Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun, Aristotle, or Augustine, all had their demons. The root of evil gets down to private practices and personal habits.

Private practices can bring down structural evil, the temples of greed, the cathedrals of self-aggrandizement, the ideologies^[3] that destroy human desire and achievement. We have one realistic hope for dealing with the world’s problems. That is the person and gospel of Jesus Christ, living here and now in people who are his by total identification found through the spiritual disciplines. Why? This faith and discipline yield a new humanity, one for which, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” is a reality. ^[4] Not wanting or needing something is freedom. To not want is to be satisfied.

Spiritual Practices

This new transformed humanity is more than wishful thinking, even more than a prayer, it is an answer to prayer. It is character developed through spiritual practices. We may not have the inner power to command our souls to change, but we do have some willpower to act with intention; that is how we begin. Augustine sat in a courtyard, a Bible was on the table beside him, and he heard a child’s voice singing tolle lege, tolle lege—take up and read, take up and read. He picked it up, read it, and a revolution began. He later wrote credo ut intelligam, “I believe in order to understand.” To understand the world, start with the Word of God. Augustine had to “pick it up and read.” The man with the withered hand had to extend his hand for Jesus to heal it. We all must begin with an action that is within the preview of our will. This is why the scripture tells us, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”^[5] Participating in spiritual practices is within our power as a saved humanity. “…working out your own salvation with fear and trembling…” to confront such things as gossip, slander, greed, fear, addictions to deeper and the darker parts of us hiding in our spiritual basements.

The law of indirection

My basic spiritual practices are less about reading the Monks than understanding exercise. Saint Antony may have run around the Egyptian desert, but it would have been to avoid a beast trying to eat him rather than an exercise regime. It is well known to human beings that running changes everything. You do it long enough and fast enough, you begin to breathe harder, you sweat, and pains and strains begin to beset you. That is why many people stop running; it doesn’t feel good, at least at first. However, your vessels and arteries expand, and your heart beats faster and gets stronger. The perspiration pours from your body, expelling toxins and cleansing your systems. Your muscles, over time get stronger, your lungs clearer. Your waistline gets smaller, you burn more calories, and you start looking forward to running. You actually want to do more of it, for longer periods of time. And after some time, you enjoy it, you become addicted to it, it becomes you, it becomes a part of your identity. The process is enjoyable, but the benefits to your health and well-being are remarkable. This makes it possible for you to do what needs to be done as it needs to be done when it needs to be done.

The point of the exercise is to set into motion a process that will transform our total person, not to set world records or become a runner or cyclist as a profession. The issue for most of us is that the benefits of running or any exercise were set into motion by the exercise itself. We didn’t command our body to sweat, our lungs to expand, our heart to get stronger, or our mind to be clearer. Our body simply responds to our actions. We took those actions for a reason and had the desire and the power to start. That is what happens with spiritual exercise. Allow me to name the exercises:

Exercises to free us

• Silence to free us from noise

• Solitude to free us from crowds

• Fasting to free us from food

• Frugality to free us from materialism

• Chasity to free us from lust

• Secrecy to free us from indiscretion

• Sacrifice to free us from self-indulgence

Exercises to counteract and reconnect

• Study to counteract ignorance

• Worship to counteract independence

• Prayer to counteract being alone

• Celebration to counteract a lack of gratitude

• Service to counteract self-interest

• Fellowship to counteract isolation

• Confession to counteract hiddenness

• Submission to counteract rebellion

There are fifteen exercises mentioned above. No sane person would or should attempt to do them all, all the time. Some make additional practices part of their rule of life. This becomes more about them, their tradition or a “religious act” to deny themselves something they enjoy. Usually a form of punishment to supplement what Christ has already accomplished. There is a very strong religious impulse in people that makes them want to get closer to God. That has its place, particularly when one feels far away from God. I would not stand in the way of such efforts, but they rarely do more than put a band-aid on a more serious wound. Everything from silent retreats to vows of silence in a religious order are interesting activities, but regarding being more like Christ, excessive nonsense. I should know, I’ve done them. In my estimation, the church is far too silent. We don’t talk enough about Christ, and then discern that we should go on retreats and get better at not talking.

Religion is dangerous

A general rule of thumb is that if Jesus did it, then pay attention to his exercises. If it is something else, don’t pay that much attention. You will notice that Jesus didn’t journal, he didn’t need to—he was the logos—he was the word. His disciples wrote about him. Jesus didn’t flog himself, he left that to his enemies. Jesus didn’t look to suffer, but he suffered. But not until it was time and it was unavoidable. He begged his Father to let him out of it! So, don’t volunteer to punish yourself and in some twisted way think you are following Jesus or getting closer to God.

The fix-it gene

Religion is people making up stuff to try and fix themselves without the help of God. Adam and Eve did the first religious act when they made aprons to cover themselves. They knew for the very first time they were naked. They forgot how they became aware of it, and just tried to fix it. God asked the revealing question, “Who told you, that you were naked?” They knew because they disobeyed, because they decided they would take their chances on being gods. Isn’t that what all religion is, efforts to take charge and not do life God’s way? So, we make stuff up, we climb our own little tower of Babel, trying to get to God on our own terms and in our own traditions. But God confuses us and we always fall short. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Don’t get the gospel confused with religion. The gospel is what God has done, not what we can get done. If there is going to be a revolution as Willard mentions in the starter quote, “Widespread transformation of character through wisely disciplined discipleship to Christ can transform our world.” It will require liberated disciples who are willing to get out of the church in order to be the church.

Discipleship is dangerous

I often think of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the pastor, theologian, spy, and martyr who was executed on April 9, 1945 a mere three weeks before the end of the war against Germany. His story has been highlighted in a recent movie entitled, Bonhoeffer. I founded and led The Bonhoeffer Project. I did so because of his example of getting out of the church in order to be the church. He remained faithful to the gospel and to the Church. But he got out of the German Evangelical Church which was liberal and compromised. He helped found the Confessing Church, a group that insisted on the full freedom of the church to preach the gospel and stand between the Nazis, or oppressors and those who were oppressed, the Jews.

Bonhoeffer was a theologian and pastor by choice. He was a spy and martyr by necessity. He didn’t aspire to working against his government. He certainly didn’t desire to be murdered by the direct order of Adolf Hitler. Bonhoeffer was a lover of life who really enjoyed the good life. He was born into privilege. His father, Karl, was the most famous Medical Doctor in Germany and a pioneer in psychiatry but who had little use for Freud and Jung. His mother, Paula, was of German nobility. He was one of eight boys and girls, all very bright, everyone classified as genius.

Lover of life

Bonhoeffer loved travel, a full bank account, his Mercedes convertible, and the finest clothes. His family had power and position, a retreat in the Harz Mountains, connected and well known in Berlin society. Dietrich was an elite, a man in full, one to the manor born. He loved the opera, great restaurants, museums, was a gifted pianist, to many a very proper gentleman. He was all that, and it was his family that positioned him to become the leader and hero that he was. His personality traits were courage, a brilliance to see ahead and be the first to step up into the breach and act.

He was willing to lead one of the five Confessing Church illegal seminaries with twenty-three students. He did this for 2.5 years in a facility in Finkenwalde, a rural area of Germany. The Nazis closed the school, but he continued it underground for 2.5 more years. The experience there was recorded in his very popular book, Life Together. It was Bonhoeffer’s attempt to create a New Monasticism, nothing like the old. The New Monasticism was the equivalent of getting out of the church to be the church. It was also a clear rejection of the religious idea of voluntarily self-punishment and monastic excess practiced around the world.

Is discipleship worth it?

In a sense, Bonhoeffer served as an incarnation of the power of the gospel in that time and place. He had riches, position, privilege, and cultural power. He enjoyed it, actually reveled in it. Yet, when the cost of discipleship came calling, he quickly and without hesitation stepped into the breach. The Cost of discipleship was his life—that is the bargain. Christ gave his life for us— our response is costly—we give our lives in return to him. As Bonhoeffer so famously said, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him to come and die.” Bonhoeffer has become famous in our time. Why? Because he was like Christ in his best moments. His books, his Letters and Papers from Prison, and most importantly, his example, were all combined to inspire generation after generation to join his cause—because he dared to get out of the German Reich Church run by Adolf Hitler in order to be the church. That helped bring down Hitler and his evil empire.

I close with Bonhoeffer’s poem that he penned during the last two years of his life:

Who am I?

Who am I? They often tell me I would step from cell’s confinement

Calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me I used to speak to my warders

Freely and friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me I would bear the day of misfortune

Equably, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of, or am I only what I myself know of myself?

Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,

Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,

Trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation,

Tossing in expectation of great events,

Powerlessly trembling for friends of an infinite distance,

Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?

Am I one person today and tomorrow another?

Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,

And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

Or is something within me still like a beaten army,

Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

Bonhoeffer

Bill Hull

Looking to disarm the structural evils in my life

2025

^[1] Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines, page xi, 1989 Harper & Row

^[2] Genesis 3:1-15, Romans 3:23, 6:23, & 5:12.

^[3] Ideology: An ideology is different than a philosophy. A philosophy can and is changeable when the holder of such realizes that the evidence proves it wrong or needs modification. An Ideology is something held regardless of conditions or evidence. For example, Marxists or in the 1930s Nazis, held their ground even though everyone else turned against them. It is a fanatical belief system connecting its holder to deeper needs, such as power.

^[4] Ibid, Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines, page 237.

^[5] Philippians 2:13; John 7:17 You can find God’s will through obedience, fear, and trembling, knowing that we are descending into the dangerous and hidden parts of our souls. This is not the psychodramas conjured up by the psychological societies and obsessions with self empires. This is going after sin!

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