Grieving for Those Who Grieve Amiss

[Dan Crawford]

In the past three months, I have grieved for two groups of people. First in April, when my brother Bob had unexpected multiple bypass surgery then his recovery then the past three weeks with his accidental fall, suffering blunt force trauma to the brain – then having brain surgery, and spending time in the Palliative Care Unit dying – and then having his memorial service, I have observed two groups of folks who differed from Bob’s family and friends, in the way they grieved. One group seemed to grieve amiss - not quite right, in a mistaken way, improperly. Bob’s group sang, prayed, shared Bob stories, laughed, and grieved – but not as those in the other groups. One group seemed to lack a faith-system that provided, “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” From outside their hospital rooms, one could hear loud weeping and refusal to let go of a loved-one. There seemed to be no hope for reunion, nor any comfort in the belief of a heavenly home for the soon-to-be-deceased. Then another group, while seemingly believers, were trying to make it through the difficult days by themselves, while Bob’s group was daily sustained by a rather large group of praying folks. To enter crisis, and possible death of a loved one without faith in God, is sad to observe. While not quite as sad, is observance of those who have no prayer support team interceding for them and undergirding them. I have grieved for both groups – folks who grieve amiss! The Psalmist says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints (Psalm 116:15). Since that is true, should we not seek to lead all to be “saints” and then pray for them all the way to their “death?”