My children(2 boys & a girl-ages 15,13 & 11) & I read from a devotional book each morning. I used to get feedback which would create some great discussions but for the last few months nothing. Maybe I should try a new devotional book, any ideas? It seems it has almost become a chore to do our devotionals and some days I am afraid I am pushing them away rather than strengthening their relationship with the Lord.
This is especially true with my 15 yr.old. I worry knowing he is growing up fast and my inlfuence on his spirituality is becoming less and less.
Comments
For example in Matthew when Jesus spoke about abolishing the law as American we think of doing away with the law. Jesus is using rabbi talk in that context and it is not at all about doing away with the law.
Our family of five kids (aged 10-15) have three devotional connecting points in the day: I say a prayer in the kitchen at breakfast (when most of them are there!) that includes a virtue that I'm praying for them that day. At supper, each kid has their assigned day to lead us in table grace and choose an after-supper, at-the-table activity to focus us on God together (often a devotional book, sometimes an inspiring story, seasonally a passage of Scripture to memorize, and rarely, a family dance). At bedtime, we try to spend some time in conversation and prayer, when they're relaxed and can reflect on their day.
One helpful thing a friend of mine shared was to go to his kids at bedtime and sit on the end of their bed and not say anything! Instead of coming with an agenda, he let them start the talking, if they wanted to.
After reading the responses to your original post, I'm inspired to supply my kids with some key books. They are all bed-time readers.
I totally agree with teaching our children from the Word of God and making that your devotional of choice. But, having said that sometimes as parents we aren't as creative in our devotions and we need some help. Check out Family Life in Focus with Dennis Rainey. Family Life has a couple of devotional books which draw from the scriptures and they give some really practical and "Oh, is that what that means!" responses from kids. Of course, our children are watching our lives, what we do and what we say speaks volumes to them. We must walk the talk.
In answer to your quest for ideas, I have one suggestion - use the Bible as your devotional book; it contains all the answers you and your children could need - make it alive for them and you.
I mentored 3 of my children - an older boy and 2 girls. We would have what we called 'times'. In these 'times' I would start out (each one individually - privately) with how their week went, and what has been on their minds or concerning them - I would take time to listen and not so much commenting. I would ask them if we could pray for anything that they had need for. I would ask them if I could help in any way. This built a relationship that they could share very personal concerns, worry, and troubles, and I would not criticize, but encourage. Then we would go through a chapter of a book of the Bible, usually from week to week, go through the book of the Bible - verse by verse: "what is the Lord saying to you and me?" Share with them what it says to you, and how this helps you with some of your concerns, then ask them to share theirs. We would take a verse and memorize it (both of us) for the next time. We would then have prayer time, first me, then them. I would always thank God for them, and tell God that I love them and want to care for them.
The ground rules were that this was an individual time, with no one else present. Also what they shared about themselves, would not be shared with anyone except what they allowed.
I would try to answer all their questions from the Word of God (Bible), and give Godly advice if they were going down the wrong path. No topic was excluded, including getting along with bullies, sex, or any thing that was on their minds. After a while, we built a close relationship together - always sharing my troubles and failures (appropriately) and asking them for prayer for me. My children have gone through struggles in their adult lives, but are thoroughly grounded in Christ, and they are not departing from them.
I hope this helps.
In Christ,
Alan Satorius
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had conversation that lasted into the early hours of the morning because something was brought up. Often that happened when we were sitting on the couch just talking. That still happens today over the phone when faced with a problem.
I am more concerned about teaching children to fish than giving them a fish.