How did we get to the point where there is a pervasive attitude of “You owe me?” As a grandfather I understand the desire to spoil the kids, but I wonder if in the spoiling we have created a monster?

It is an attitude not just with kids, but with adults as well. Everyone seems to have their hand out and expect the government, their parents, or anyone to step up and give them what they want. It does not matter that they did not earn it. They want it, and in their mind, they deserve it (for some reason).

How do we stop the madness? Quit giving people everything they want! When I was growing up we had to earn our allowance and it wasn’t a crazy amount of money either. The chores were not difficult, but it took some of the burden off my parents and gave me a sense of accomplishment in the process. What happened to letting people earn what they get?

I know there are people who are disabled and get welfare. I am not trying to put the ones who truly deserve it in this discussion. I am pointing out that we have countless people on welfare that are milking the system. We have untold numbers of kids who don’t know the value of a dollar. We have adults who never learned to earn money, so they expect someone to ante up for them. They don’t care who does it either.

I wonder how many billions of dollars are wasted every year on people who don’t really need the help but demand that they get it? I know that this is a huge problem for our country and possibly around the world as well. We have to use common sense and admit that the system is broken.

We definitely need to help those who are disabled, but there are too many able-bodied adults and kids who are content collecting their checks and never lift a finger.  We can start by setting the proper values in our own families. Let them earn their keep. They will appreciate you for it when they are grandparents. The only way to stop the madness is to change what we are doing.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

danskognes.com

Life events identify who our true friends are. Think about it. If you get married, divorced, have a baby, have a death in the family, graduate, are moving and need help, just want to hang out, need someone to talk to in the middle of the night and don’t want to be judged, who do you call?

Fair-weather friend is a term for fake friends…much like the many “friends” we have on FB and social media. Real friends are there for you no matter what life hands you. They don’t always agree with you, but they respect you, honor you, serve you, and love you for who you are. They will encourage you to expand your horizons, dream big, and let go of past hurts. They walk with you through life.

If you are fortunate to have more than one true friend, you are indeed wealthy. A proverb says, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” You may be thinking, yes, but I have always heard “Blood is thicker than water,” meaning family comes before everyone else. Is it possible that both are correct?

Blood is thicker than water when it comes to our relationships and priorities, but there are friends who would go the distance when even blood relatives might pause. Here is my question for you: Are you a true friend to anyone? Have you invested in someone in your life to the point that they know beyond the shadow of a doubt that if they needed anything, you would be there for them?

True friendship is not one way. It takes two people investing in each other. This takes relationships from good to great. It works in marriage, business, and casual relationships. If you don’t invest, you’ll never have the best.

If you do have a cherished friend, I hope you let them know how much you love them and that you are there for them. If you don’t have a true friend, don’t despair. Another proverb says, “If a man wants friends, he must show himself friendly.” Just get out of your comfort zone and be the friend that you would like to have. It is worth the investment.

Shalom!

danskognes.com

If you want to know what the perfect Father looks like, look at God… the Father of all mankind. He loves us completely in spite of our human frailties. That fact alone should give you pause to think. His love directs us, completes us, and gives us our daily bread. His love lights the way through the darkness and comforts us in the losses we encounter. He also corrects us when we are going astray just as any loving Father would. His love is generous, complete, and never ends.

Being a great Father is a daunting task for most men. It is a huge responsibility, but I do believe it is a worthy goal for any Father. You know what I believe helps make that a reality? Love God with all our heart first and foremost. The second thing is to love our fellow man as we love ourselves.

If you really want to take being a good Father to a different level, do those two things, but add one more thing to make it very personal: love your wife completely. Serve her. Honor her. Make her the priority that she deserves to be in your life. Listen to her. Protect her. Provide for her. You want to be treated like a king? Treat her like a queen. The children will love and respect you as a result.

Too many men miss this point and think they can be great Dads by spending a lot of time with their kid(s), but neglect or even abuse their spouse. That type of behavior is a ticking time-bomb. Sooner or later it is going to explode and the very thing the Dad was trying to nurture (relationship with his children) will very likely be taken from him.

Love God, love your fellow man, and treat your wife like a queen. Those three simple things will elevate you in the eyes of all and give you peace that passes understanding.

Happy Father’s Day!

Shalom!

Dan Skognes
danskognes.com

We live in a world that urges conformity. Everyone needs to just walk in step and not make waves. This blog is dedicated to the wave makers. Wave makers are earth shakers. They dare to be different and add spice to our lives. They often are the ones who are the difference between our success or failure.

I know that non-conformists are often met with discipline, stern looks, and admonitions to get in line. A non-conformist can be the drill sergeant’s nightmare. They march to the beat of a different drum and make conformity look absurd. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe we need conformity in the military and in many other areas of our lives; I just think we sometimes don’t know how to handle non-conformists productively.

If you have a non-conformist in your classroom, your organization, or in your family, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Every non-conformist will share some common elements:

• They need to feel heard.
• They want to know why they are doing something and why it matters.
• They love to think outside the box.
• They don’t care so much about what you think as long as they know you care what they think.
• They are often seen as quirky, strange, or loners.
• They need to feel appreciated.

You can’t really change them (or anyone for that matter). All you can do is reason with them, listen, and try to get them engaged in the project. Do yourself a favor when dealing with a non-conformist. If you will take the time to develop a relationship with them, you just might find they have incredible talents and thoughts to contribute to the project at hand.

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Some of the best books I have read had non-descript covers. Likewise, some of the most compelling and thought-provoking ideas have come from people who seem strange to the general public. “Sometimes the masses just need new glasses.” Different does not have to be an argument waiting to happen. It does not mean they are automatically wrong. They are just different. Take the time to know and understand them. Who knows what it will unlock for both of you?

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

danskognes.com

“How you respond to a setback exposes your faith, your fears, and your future.” Dan Skognes

I saw a two-wheel concept car (or motorcycle in a shell) from Lit Motors that was really cool. You could try to knock it over from any side and it automatically self-corrected to right itself. They use similar technology in robotic dogs. They compensate for the obstacles encountered and recalibrate to get centered again.

Is that what you do? For some reading this, you think, “Yes, I adjust well to whatever comes my may.” For others, you might think, “No. I melt down when unforeseen circumstances trip me up.”

When something unexpected happens like a loss of a job, a relationship ends, you get diagnosed with a deadly disease, someone close to you dies, or you take a financial hit…whatever it is, there are basically two responses: faith or fear. You either have faith that you will get through it and continue to move forward, or you cower in fear and retreat.

There are many things in life that we can’t control, yet we are tasked with getting through them. If you want to get through the storms, you have to be centered. You have to have the ability to stay calm when all hell breaks loose around you. I realize that it is easier said than done, but that is our reality. It applies to everyone.

Whether we respond with faith or fear will determine our future. Nobody in their right mind would choose to respond with fear, and yet it happens on a daily basis to people all over the world.

Some people would say that ignorance is bliss, but I think ignorance can be fear of the facts. It takes courage to have faith in the midst of a storm when you can’t see the horizon. In the example above, the car and robotic dog do not have a mindset of fear. They are programed to adapt and overcome. We need to program our minds to have that type of mindset. “When we get a setback, we need to think about our comeback.” Anticipate what is coming. “You may not be able to stop the wind, but you can learn to set your sails.”

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

danskognes.com

Have you ever heard that phrase? It is an old pilot term that relates to a clock. Twelve would represent forward, and 6 would represent your backside. Thus, when anyone says they got your six, they have your back…meaning they are making sure you are safe and secure from anyone coming up from behind.

Whether you are a pilot, a preacher, teacher, businessman, sports figure, spouse, or parent, it does not matter. You need someone to cover your six. Even though Mom had eyes in the back of her head, I can assure you she needed someone protecting and looking out for her.

If you are married, I hope that you and your spouse are back to back. Each one of you should know that the other one is there if they fall, if they fail, or if they falter. Solomon said: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Lean On Me

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lyrics: Bill Withers

If you don’t have that, look for someone who does not have anyone to cover their six….and you can be there for each other. Everybody needs somebody to lean on.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

danskognes.com

Prayers are not our last resort. They are our first line of defense. I recently encountered a spiritual battle that kicked me in the gut. Most of the battles we face, by the way, are spiritual. We tend to think of things in the natural, but spiritual battles are going on all around us.

One of the dilemmas I faced recently had to do with people who listen, but don’t really hear you. I explained something critical several times to a couple of people and they nodded like they were tuned in. Then they did something incredible: They totally ignored what I said and did what THEY wanted (even though I was crystal clear on my expectations).

This created a huge problem for me personally and while I vented to a few close friends about the pickle I was in, I realized who had the solution. I prayed about it and God gave me a clear vision of what to do.

I did not explode on the people for what they did (although I could have and I literally could have sued them and won a ton of money and cost them their jobs). I calmly laid out the facts as they listened. They knew they were in the deep end of the pool with no life jacket unless I decided to give them one.

I did toss them a life jacket and asked them to help me get through the predicament that they had caused. I am not sure how all of it will play out yet, but I offered them a peaceful solution to a serious problem. All they have to do is give up some of their time on my behalf.

The funny thing is that God knew this was going to happen all along. While I got blindsided, God didn’t, and He has the perfect road map to get all of us through it. I believe God let this happen for me to show them mercy. Trust me when I say that mercy was not my first thought! I think God let this happen to them to teach them a lesson as well. Next time, I bet you dollars to donuts they listen to who is talking to them and check for clarity.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

www.danskognes.com