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Forgiveness is Not

Posted by shary hauber on October 22, 2010 at 20:03 in #ReimagineDISCIPLESHIP Biblical Formation
Forgiveness is Not saying in any way that a wrong is right. Forgiveness does Not take away the consequences of the wrong either with the victim or the doer of the wrong. Forgiveness does Not solve all the relationship problems caused by the wrong. Forgiven does Not mean instant healing for the victim.  And there are probably more things forgiveness is Not.

If it is not these things what is it?
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  • Jeremy Hatch October 23, 2010 16:50
    LOTS of stuff to ponder here... dredging up this stuff and wondering IF I have forgiven comes to mind.

    I know this, forgiveness is Not - "easy"!
  • Paula Baum November 4, 2010 21:22
    It is not holding a wrong done to me against the wrongdoer, but, instead erasing the "debt" caused by the wrong. It is choosing to let God's judgement prevail, not my own. It is treating others the way God has treated me.
  • V. Davis November 6, 2010 17:20
    It is the point where healing begins and life moves forward again. The point you give yourself permission to become better not bitter.
  • Karl Porta November 6, 2010 18:03
    you cant have the vertical thing right with God if you havent at least done your part to make your horizontal relationships right, right?
  • Bob Taylor November 6, 2010 22:54
    I am discussing this in SS class tomorrow. Check out Larry Osborne's book, Ten Dumb Things Smart Christi ans Believe (Myth #2 Forgiving means forgetting)
    Basically when God forgives He does not forget. He renews His work with us. He no longer responds to us in light of those sins of which we repent. Those sins no longer derail our relationship with Him and they no longer garner His wrath. Our goal is to be able to forgive as He has forgiven us.
  • Karl Porta November 7, 2010 7:57
    Yep I think the culture has embraced that "bandaid style" of forgiveness that says "Lets be friends again pacify me whatever way you can." Dont you think thats what Jesus had in mind when he did the math test (70x7) with Peter?


    Bob Taylor said:
    I am discussing this in SS class tomorrow. Check out Larry Osborne's book, Ten Dumb Things Smart Christi ans Believe (Myth #2 Forgiving means forgetting)
    Basically when God forgives He does not forget. He renews His work with us. He no longer responds to us in light of those sins of which we repent. Those sins no longer derail our relationship with Him and they no longer garner His wrath. Our goal is to be able to forgive as He has forgiven us.
  • Phillip Martinez November 8, 2010 22:26
    Thanks for sharing this..... This helps a lot when it comes to counseling.
  • shary hauber November 10, 2010 9:01
    When God forgives us we come to Him with honest repentance and confession of sin. God know if we are sincere or just putting on a show. We are not God we do not know what is in the heart of one asking forgiveness. We are justified is asking for proof of the genuineness of the offender. Many times this proof may take even years to prove. In spousal abuse the abuser often does nice things after abusing but is never truly sorry for the abuse. The abused spouse may want to make things good again but is unwise to stay in a situation of being abused. It does not help the abuser to be continually "forgiven". The abuser is not facing the reality of the offense, so often continues to abuse.


    Bob Taylor said:
    I am discussing this in SS class tomorrow. Check out Larry Osborne's book, Ten Dumb Things Smart Christi ans Believe (Myth #2 Forgiving means forgetting)
    Basically when God forgives He does not forget. He renews His work with us. He no longer responds to us in light of those sins of which we repent. Those sins no longer derail our relationship with Him and they no longer garner His wrath. Our goal is to be able to forgive as He has forgiven us.
  • shary hauber November 11, 2010 16:33
    In thinking about forgiveness these are some things I have come up with. Forgiveness does not include suppression of any kind. It acknowledges the horrors of the offense. Forgiveness takes possession of the results of the horrid act and does not expect the offender to change the results. Forgiveness can still ask for justice and punishment of the offender. Forgiveness frees the victim to become a survivor. Forgiveness is daily struggling to overcome the results of the acts of the offender. Forgiveness frees the survivor from the control, real or imagined in the mind of the survivor, of the offender. Forgiveness must be applied many times in many different ways depending on the results at the moment. Forgiveness gives recognition of the many lies the offender taught the victim by words and actions. Forgiveness tells the truth about everything.
  • Brenda Turner January 4, 2012 13:55

    Amen.   Forgiveness "is" peace though.  At least I believe so.

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