I am paid monthly. Last month, I was praying over my budget and tweaking it, attempting to make my income stretch to meet the many demands that supporting my mother and two children brings. We've had it tough this past year with income loss, household emergencies, and medical expenses. I've been "robbing Peter to pay Paul" for some time now and Peter is losing patience! This budget just wasn't working. No matter what I cut, it would not be enough. I had doubt.
I am a big believer in the tithe and have seen many times that when I do not tithe, financial problems increase. I always end up losing that money one way or another; never once have I withheld it (even partially) and ended up making headway overall. Depite this, in my heart, I allowed doubt and fear to take hold and I delayed paying my tithe. I left the budget unfinished and basically postponed the whole mess, frustrated and uncommitted.
Not deciding can be its own decision. My doubt was evidence that I was relying on my own strength because if I were relying on The L-RD, what would I have to fear (doubt)? He is all-sufficient and all things are in His hands. He tells us to test Him in the tithe.
That Shabbat, I did not pay. Two days later, almost all of what I would have paid was demanded of me - without notice - in medical expenses. The money was gone. I no longer had the option of paying my tithe. It was as if the enemy entered in through a weak spot in my shield and took the very thing I was so afraid to lose. Scripture teaches us that what the evildoer fears will come upon him. I am no more or less an "evildoer" than anyone and don't believe that Scripture calls Yeshua's followers "evildoers" - we are covered by His blood! - but in that moment, in that indecision, I was certainly not doing rightly! G-d protects the righteous, not so that they can break the law, but so that they can be free to observe it in love, knowing their Savior!
This month, as I worked out that same budget with that same income and similar expenses, I came up short again. I sought The L-RD in prayer: not for guidance. He tells us to tithe, so that was not in question - why ask G-d if He wants us to do what He's clearly told us to do? I sought Him for the faith to do what was right and the peace and trust in HIM to meet all my family's needs.
Before I could even go to assembly to pay the tithe - the day after I worked out this budget and prayed over the situation, in repentance for what I had done weeks before - I received two unexpected phone calls:
1) My former husband of 12 years ago called. He has a job for the first time in 3 years. He will have child support payments for me every week this month.
2) My former husband of 15 years ago called. Yes, he is willing to take on more than 50% of our son's tuition for the upcoming school year (I had asked him about this a couple of weeks prior and he intially said he couldn't, but I know differently).
Those two items would not only cover that tithe (plus the tithe that the added income will generate), but covered it by about double, meaning that unexpected expenses this month will not force me into "the hole" to start next month. I've been able to help others who needed small helps, too.
G-d is good, all the time! His Word is Truth! He is faithful, just, and merciful. He is our Good Father, El Shaddai, Protector, Redeemer, Sanctifier, Beloved! He cares for us. He is so wonderful!
