I’m an action-oriented person. I like to make things happen and get things done.

God knows this about me, of course. But it doesn’t seem to influence Him much in the way He orders my life. For instance, God currently has me in another season of transition.  He’s moving me out of one thing and into another—but the problem is, He hasn’t let me know yet into what! I am eager to know “the next thing.” I’m ready for Him to give me my marching orders. I want to get started already! Time’s a wasting!

So I try to help Him out and hurry things up. I analyze. I research. I seek counsel. I strategize. And of course, I pray. I practically make a pest of myself, asking Him over and over again what He wants me to do.

You probably won’t be surprised to learn that God is not in the big rush that I am. He reminded me of that again this morning when I was reading in Joshua 5. The Israelites had just crossed the Jordan River. The long-awaited Promised Land was finally in sight—it was theirs for the conquering. And conquer, Joshua was ready to do.

As you may recall, Joshua, was Moses’ successor, and the commander of Israel’s army. He was a man of action, a strategist, somebody who liked to rally the troops and get the job done. I like Joshua. He didn’t let grass grow under his feet.

So one day, as Joshua no doubt was planning his strategy to take over Canaan, he encountered a formidable stranger. A mysterious man stood in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand.

Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”

“Neither one,” he replied. “I am the commander of the LORD’s army.”

At this, Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence. “I am at your command,” Joshua said.

Then, Joshua said what any action-oriented person, get-things-done kind of person would say:

“What do you want your servant to do?”

I came to a dead stop in my reading. I knew the Lord was speaking directly to me. Joshua’s words could so easily be my own. How very often God hears me asking, “What do you want me to do, Lord?” “What’s my assignment, Father? Just tell me what to do, and I’ll get right on it!”

It was as if I’d never read the story before. I honestly couldn’t remember what came next. So, slowly, I returned to the page and resumed reading:

The commander of the LORD’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did as he was told. (Joshua 5:13-15, NLT.)

Stunned, I let the Bible slip from my lap. This was a call to worship, not to war. There were no marching orders for Joshua. Instead, the commander of the LORD’s army ordered the commander of Israel’s army to take off his sandals and worship. The grass growing under Joshua’s feet was holy grass on holy ground.

And, in those sacred moments in my living room this morning, I realized that God really isn’t interested in rushing me into my next assignment. He wants my worship. He wants me to be still and know He is God. He wants me to sit at His feet while somebody else works in the kitchen for a change. He wants me to let holy grass grow under my bare feet.

Actually, my title is misleading. When it comes to prayer, children much more often seem to “get it” better than adults do. When it comes to prayer, we would probably be more accurate to say, “So easy, an adult can do it.” But I’m only a few sentences in and I’m swerving off topic already. Let me get to my point.

This summer my church’s prayer ministry is teaching a series on prayer in children’s church. We’re teaching the kids everything from the basics (prayer equals relationship with God, the Lord’s Prayer, and intercession, to more advanced (for adults anyhow—maybe not for children!) concepts like listening prayer, perseverance, and inner-healing prayer. I’ve been amazed and encouraged by how easily some of these kids put into practice what they are learning—with faith, earnestness, vulnerability and boldness, no less!

Take, for instance, the little girl who has been praying for a long time about a friend who is mean to her. She told me that at first all she asked God to do was to “make her nicer.” But as she persisted in prayer, she started to realize some things. She realized that other little girl might be nicer if she knew Jesus! So she started praying that her friend would come to know Jesus. But then she realized that her friend might not even have heard very much about Jesus, so she started praying that she would read the Bible so she could get to know Jesus.

Over time, as she persevered in prayer and let God reshape her prayers, her prayers became more mature and others-focused. She told me her prayers are not so “greedy” any more.

It took me many years to learn that persevering in prayer does not mean praying the same (often self-focused) request over and over, day in and day out. Now I realize that part of God’s work is to shape me and my prayers into conformity with His character and plans. I do that by listening to Him, asking questions, listening some more, and hanging in there, even when God seems to be taking a long time. But this little girl already almost intuitively understands these critical truths.

So I have a thought: What if, after we’re done teaching the prayer series to the kids in children’s church, they come and teach the adults to pray in the adult service? Maybe they could make it simple enough that even we adults could do it!

The enemy plays unfair. He tempts you with a thought, and then condemns you for having it! I’ve been the target of that cruel strategy far too often—as most of us probably have. We know that God says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” But somehow it’s seems easier to believe Satan’s accusation, “You are nothing but a sinner. Always have been always will be. You’ll never change, you’ll never overcome your sin. So why bother trying?”

When Satan goes after me like that, even if I don’t actually give in to the temptation, I usually spiral into a slump of defeat and disgrace. I feel so much shame that I can barely eke out much more of a prayer than, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” If I’m not very careful, I can get stuck there.

However, contrary to what the deceiver tries to convince us of, temptation does not equal sin. Tempting thoughts do not equal sinful actions. They can lead there, obviously, but temptation on its own is not sin. So I am getting pretty fed up with the enemy raking God’s children over the coals for being tempted.

But here’s the thing: if it were up to us to overcome sin and temptation, we could never do it. The enemy’s temptations are powerful and cunning. He’s both smarter and stronger than we are. So when he says that we will never change (and a thousand variations on that theme), in a sense, he’s right. We won’t—certainly not on our own feeble steam. However, and this is a huge however—it is Christ’s resurrection power at work in us that transforms us. And it is Jesus’ blood that delivers us. We do not save ourselves, we do not heal ourselves, we do not change ourselves—God does it all.

Today, the Holy Spirit directed me to some Scriptures that I can take up as my shield of faith whenever the enemy lobs his arrows at me. They all have the same theme—it is God in me that does the work, not me. I belong to Him, He is invested in me, and He will not let me fall to the evil one. Here they are:

• "The Lord will fulfill [his purpose] for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands" (Psalm 138:8).
• "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 1:8).
• " I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns" (Philippians 1:6).
• "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” (Philippians 2:13).

These verses help me to believe that when the enemy goes at me with those below-the-belt accusations, I don’t have to prove or justify anything. I don’t have to show him how much progress I’ve made in sanctification. Instead, I can stand up to him on the basis of what God’s Word. I can remind myself—and him—that I’m counting on God to do for me what He says He will do.

What Scriptures do you pray and use when the enemy tries to take you out?

While fires raged in my beautiful city of Colorado Springs yesterday, I was at my late husband’s mother’s funeral in New York State. In the Orthodox tradition, the 90-minute service included many chanted prayers and Scripture readings. By far the most frequently sung words were, “Lord, have mercy.” They were chanted in hauntingly beautiful tones that resonated in my heart for the rest of the day and into the night.

Late last night I watched in disbelief as Internet media sources showed real-time scenes of familiar Colorado Springs neighborhoods—places where I had shared meals, laughter, tears, and friendship—burn in the inferno. It’s hard to be 2,000 miles away from friends when tragedy hits, so I called a friend who is in a (currently) safe neighborhood not far from mine. We prayed for many things—especially friends we love who had evacuated and were likely to lose their homes—but the prayer that repeated most in my heart and spirit was “Lord, have mercy.”

We did ask God for rain, for a shift in the winds, a lowering of the unseasonably high temperatures, stamina, courage, protection, and resources for fire fighters. We prayed spiritual protection. And we prayed for the faith of our friends who were in the direct path of the flames—asking God to strengthen the hearts and faith of these dear ones who are living such a nightmare.

But the prayer that made the most sense to me was, “Lord, have mercy.”  I encourage my own heart with the facts that God is merciful, He is good. He is loving. He is kind. He is strong. He is Lord. And so to His mercy I appeal—not for what I or my city deserves, not for what I think is the best way to “fix” this terrible situation—but for what He as a good and loving God gives. So I continue to sing that prayer in my heart to the Lord and wait on Him.

Please pray for God to have mercy on Colorado Springs—for the sake of His name and the love of His people.

I visited a friend’s church this past weekend and was blessed. Literally. What I mean is, my friend wanted me to meet her pastor and his wife, so she introduced me after the service. After the usual exchange of greetings, Pastor Mike asked if he, Cindy his wife, and my friend could bless me. Well, I’m never one to pass up an opportunity to be blessed, so of course I said yes.

The three of them laid hands on me then Mike began. “Lord, we’d like to bless Cynthia today. Is there anything You want to say to her through us?” They waited silently. After a minute or two, Cindy spoke. She had had seen a picture of me tending my garden. I was looking carefully to see if any of the seeds I’d planted were growing. God wanted me to know, she said, that they were indeed growing. That they would bloom, multiply, and bear lots of fruit. She also shared a scripture that the Holy Spirit had brought to mind.

Then Pastor Mike spoke. He had seen a different picture, but it had a similar meaning: The things I have been praying and working for are happening—even if I cannot see them yet. He said the enemy wanted to discourage me so I’d give up, but I must hang onto hope.

Finally, my friend spoke. While Cindy had been speaking, she had heard from the Lord that the seeds I’d planted in one specific situation—one very near to my heart for which I’ve been praying for years—were growing and would bear fruit.

Well, I probably don’t need to say how much these encouraging words bolstered my hope. Each picture, verse, and word resonated with me—these were all things the Lord had been saying to me already. But what wonderful confirmation to hear them from people I didn’t even know!

But wait, it gets better. That afternoon I got as surprise phone call. Casually, the caller told me something my heart has been waiting to hear for years. What he shared showed me that my friend had heard right—the situation so near to my heart that I’ve been praying about for so long—God is working! Big time! I think I smiled for hours after hanging up.

I have to admit that even though I’m a huge proponent of listening prayer, I don’t often use it to bless others. But after being on the receiving end of such powerful ministry, I think I’d like to change that! How about the rest of you? Do you listen to God and bless others with what He shares? I’d love to hear about it!

I often hear folks asking God for the things He promises—provision, peace, health, and safety, and the like. I do it myself, and why not?  I’m His child, and He is a good Father, so He gladly concerns Himself with the things that concern me. So if the issue on my heart is something I know that He does and wants to do, then I generally ask Him to do it.

But there is another side to praying according to God’s will: As much as God loves to take care of us, it’s not all about us. God intended prayer to be a two-way conversation. At its best, relationship with God is a mutual, reciprocal friendship. If I take time to listen, God confides His heart in me. He actually invites me to concern myself with what concerns Him. As I get to know God better and better, I care more and more about things He wants—the “His kingdom and righteousness” types of things (Matthew 6:33). Here are some Scripture promises that illustrate what I’m talking about.

“Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:18).

And this one: “You will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed” (Isaiah 49:23).

Here’s another one: “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them” (Hebrews 6:10).

Or here’s one I read this morning: “Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29:7).

God has shown me how these expressions of His heart apply to specific situations around me—at work, at church, in my relationships, and in my own deepening relationship with Him. These promises express His heart. As I start to pray and lean into His desires, I express love for Him and bring Him joy, just as when He answers my provision-safety-peace prayers, I feel loved and cared for. It’s all part of genuine friendship with God.

I know I haven’t even scratched the surface of promises that express God’s heart. I’d love to hear from you: What God-centered promises are a part of your conversations with God these days?

It’s relatively easy for me to begin praying with faith and gusto for something huge, even something “impossible.” It’s not so easy for me, however, to maintain that faith and gusto when God doesn’t seem to be doing anything in response to my prayers.

I have several requests that have been on my prayer list for years. Rather, I should say they have been on and off my prayer list for years because, honestly, my enthusiasm for praying about them ebbs and flows.

A month ago, God challenged me about that. I started what I thought would be a friendly, innocuous little conversation with Him. I asked Him if there was anything “fresh” He wanted to share with me concerning our relationship. I heard His reply right away. He wanted me to “test Him.”

In what? I asked. I was curious, but not real thrilled about the idea of “testing” God. I knew it was okay to test Him about tithing (see Malachi 3:10). But other kinds of “tests” made me nervous.

“Test Me in intercession” I seemed to hear Him say. We talked about that for a bit, Him and I. I told Him about the top four “impossibles” on my heart and why they seemed impossible. They all involved imperfect people with free wills who, because He set it up this way, had the liberty to choose something other than God’s will—and who often did. I know lots of you will want to challenge my theology on this, and I welcome you to—but for me, some of the hardest situations for me to pray about are ones where people seem blind or resistant to God’s plans for them. Because sometimes even God won’t interfere with free will, right?

Well, God gently reminded me of Saul on his way to Damascus. He’d interfered with his free will. He reminded me of Nebuchadnezzar whom he had turned mad for seven years until he finally acknowledged the God of heaven. And I remembered other situations, biblical and contemporary, where God had mercifully, miraculously, opened eyes, ears, and hearts that had previously been closed.

Okay, I get it, I said. You want me to ask You to do what seems to me to be the most impossible thing of all: You want me to ask you to change hearts that seem oblivious, self-reliant, or obstinate. Okay, I will. But You know how easily I give up when I don’t see anything happening.

God didn’t give me any promises about time tables, but He asked me to pray every day for four specific situations that I care very much about and have cared about for a long time. He told me that He likes it when I ask Him to do things that only He can do. And when He said that, I actually felt relief because in some of the situations I have felt like maybe there was something I could or should do. I felt responsibility for “helping God” to work in these situations. When I realized that all God was asking me to do was to pray with hope, I felt a complete release from pressure. It felt good.

It’s been a month now. All of the situations I have been praying for still seem a long way from resolution. But to my amazement, in three of these four “impossibles” I have seen undeniable signs of God at work and concrete reasons to be encouraged. Meaningful conversations, unexpected blessings, attitudes softening, situations being clarified—all of which could only happen because of God and that make me think He truly is at work.

I have to be honest, however: the fourth situation only seemed to get worse. I actually did give up praying about it for a few days—not intentionally, it just kind of melted away in the puddle of my discouragement. But when I noticed that I wasn’t doing the “test” I’d agreed to, I asked God for new hope. And He reminded me of the things I had been noticing Him doing in the other situations. And my hope did recharge and I began praying for the really tough situation again.

I’m not sure what specific point I want you to take away from my story, but here are some possibilities:

• God really does move hearts and wills. Free will? Yes. But winsome, persuasive God? Yes!
• Looking for signs of God at work—even tiny forward movement—can really encourage faith
• Persevering prayer makes God happy.
• God loves to do the impossible. If there’s nothing we can do to help make the situation “happen,” He’s fine with that. Sometimes He even seems to especially like it.
• If you don’t see God working in one area you’ve been praying about, boost your hope and faith by noticing and praising Him for what He is doing in another.
• Have fun with God. He likes it when we experiment with Him in prayer and faith.

As for my “test,” it’s officially over now. The month is up. But God has encouraged my faith so much that I think I’ll keep going for another month.

Do you ever do prayer experiments with God? I’d love to hear about it!

A friend emailed me recently, concerned because she wonders if she heard God wrong. I won’t go into specifics because hers is a very common concern among people learning to listen to God. It’s one I also experienced when I was first starting out in my two-way conversations with God. The dangers of hearing wrong seem huge:

• We could fool ourselves into hearing what we want to hear, which sets us up for disappointment or confusion
• We could hear something that leads us down a wrong path
• We could hurt someone by sharing or acting upon wrong information we supposed was from God

I wanted to reassure my friend that she had heard accurately. But I have no way of knowing that. I’ve been listening to God for quite a few years now, and I don’t have 100 percent confidence yet. Listening to God like any other aspect of the Christian life is, after all, an act of faith. I doubt that I will ever be 100 percent sure that I always hear God right. But there are several things the Bible assures me of that help me.

Jesus’ sheep hear His voice. If we’re His sheep, communicating with Him is our birthright. He wants us to hear Him speak to us. As sheep, we need to hear from Him for our own well-being and protection; The witness of Scripture. The Bible is full of stories of people who engaged in two-way conversation with God. God speaks often, personally, and specifically to people—and all the more so in these post-Pentecost days when His Spirit indwells us.

The alternative stinks. If we do not hear from God, then the best we can do is to “lean on our own understanding,” which the Bible explicitly warns against. I’ve tried that before—and that to me is far scarier than chance of hearing wrong. I figure that Jesus wants me to hear His voice, He takes responsibility for me as my Shepherd, He expects me to listen to Him, so when I intentionally invite Him to speak to me, I can trust Him to safeguard me from horrible mistakes.

Still, there are several things I do to improve my confidence about hearing God accurately.

• I saturate myself in the Scriptures. By doing so, I have developed a good sense of God’s ways and His character. When I hear something, I ask, “Does that sound like God’s character, based on how the Bible reveals Him? Does it sound like the way He does things?” If not, then I hold what I’ve “heard” very lightly.
• I dialogue with God regularly, nearly every day. I do not just jump in for big decisions. I do not use God like a crystal ball so I can know my future. To me, hearing from God is all about the relationship. And as a relationship, I want to engage in conversations about all kinds of things, frequently. Developing an on-going conversational relationship with God safeguards me from mistakes and deception because, over years of regular practice, I know how God speaks to me. I know how His voice sounds when He is talking to me personally.
• I try to follow through on the things God leads me to do or the things He invites me to try. When my goal is friendship with God and bringing joy to Jesus, I have a built-in protection against deception.
• When it sounds like God is giving me a directive or a promise about some specific situation, I usually seek confirmation. Especially when following through on something I’ve heard God say requires action that involves others, I really want to make sure I’ve heard Him correctly. So I ask Him to confirm His message to me. Or I ask someone else who has a lifestyle of hearing from God well to help me discern. I give it time until I am sure I have heard Him right. God is okay with this. He patiently gives us what we need to trust Him.
• I realize that God’s ways are higher than mine, and that He often operates on an entirely different timetable than I do. In my early days of hearing from God I sometimes would hear Him say something, but then when it didn’t seem to come to pass in the time or manner I thought it would, I would decide that I had heard wrong. Eventually, however, I discovered that what I had heard was often accurate—I’d just made assumptions about it that went beyond what God had actually said. These days, I try not to put God on a schedule or to picture in my mind the specifics of how He will do what He has said He would do. I try to just wait and keep the conversation going. Often He gives clarity as we go along.

I’m glad my friend asked her question. It’s an important one. And she reads this blog—so I’d love for others of you to join in the conversation. How do you know you’re hearing from God accurately? Do you have any encouragement to share?

Some time ago, I heard someone describe a deeply painful personal situation. He shared his story in matter-of-fact tones, describing what was, what is, and, what in his mind, always will be. Day after painful day, nothing changed. Experts had weighed in: improvement is out of the question; to hope for it is a set-up for disappointment. It will never get better, it will always be like this. So in his discouraged thinking, coping and surviving are the best he can hope for.

My heart has ached since hearing him tell his story.  I hurt for him because I know that “always” and “never” are not part of God’s vocabulary. God has good plans for this person—that’s a fact. He is not excluded from the abundant life Jesus came to bring. But in his discouragement, he can’t see it or even hope for it. Which certainly puts a damper on prayer.

I don’t fault him, though. I’ve been there. I remember a season when I also was in an impossible-seeming situation that caused me persistent, unrelenting, unbroken pain. “It won’t always be like this,” a well-meaning friend said, trying to encourage me. “Yeah, I know, “I replied gloomily. “ It’s going to get worse.” I utterly believed that.

Truthfully, in many ways, it did get worse before it got better. But when I was in that pit, I wasn’t able to see that by God’s grace, it really would get better eventually. My painful season was not a permanent condition. God saw me and heard my cries and He delivered me.

God is a Rescuer, a Savior, a Redeemer, and a Helper. That’s His character—that’s who He is. He “is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” (Lam. 3:25-26). In painful seasons, our “weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Ps. 30:5, NLT). It will not always be this way: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him’” (Lam. 3:22-24; see also 2 Cor. 4:17; Ps. 103:9, 126:5); Is. 12:1, 54:7-8; Hos. 6:2).

I’m not sure the person I told you about would be able to respond to a spiritual pep talk. Sometimes trying to pump up another person’s faith does more harm than good, so I’m not going to try it. But when I was in a similar dark place, I appreciated the prayers of others who could lend me some of their faith (see my blog from last week, “Brother, Can You Spare Some Faith?”). They prayed with hope that I didn’t have and that comforted me. So that’s what I’m doing for this person. I know that because of God, his situation is not impossible. It does not have to always be this way. So I’m praying for him, asking first for God to give him hope, and then, also, to bring the rescue he so desperately needs.

It’s always encouraging to hear others’ stories of God’s rescues. Do you have an impossible-always-never story you can share?

Sometimes I seem to have more faith to pray for other people’s situations than I do for my own. Their “giants” seem smaller than mine. I can pray for their needs longer without being tempted to give up. I can envision miracles more easily in their circumstances than in mine. I know it doesn’t make much sense, but that’s just how it is.

A while ago, God put it on my heart to pray with unusual (for me, it was unusual) faith for a friend’s rather large burden. I am pretty sure this will be a long-term prayer assignment, but that doesn’t bother me. I am confident that what I’m asking for is God’s will, and I am confident that He can do it, so I am asking Him to do what seems humanly impossible, but is an easy thing for Him. It is a joy to pray for my friend’s situation—and to watch God respond in small yet undeniable ways.

Meanwhile, quietly and on her own, my friend had been praying for an “impossible” situation of mine. It’s something that frankly, I hardly even talked to God about anymore—I’d prayed for it for so long without seeing any signs of an answer that I’d all but given up. Somehow it came up one day, and I learned about her quiet intercession for me. So I asked her about it. She told me she really believes that God is going to come through for me in it—so she keeps praying. The fact that it felt hopeless to me didn’t faze her; she had faith to spare.

It was fun to realize that God had given her spare faith for my need, and He had given me spare faith for hers. It was like we were trading faith. And in the process, our faith in God for our own situations is increasing.

I point out to her the little ways I can see God working in her circumstances. And she does the same for me. We’ve talked about how hearing things from the other’s (more objective) perspective, boosts our faith: God really does seem to be doing something here!

Maybe there’s someone in your life who needs some of your faith to intercede for their “impossible” burden. What do you think, brother, sister . . . can you spare some faith to pray for them?

Passive Prayer?
A reader posted an interesting question on my blog last week. “When you pray ‘Your kingdom come, Your will be done,’ is whatever happens then God’s will, and our part is to submit to His apparent will?” she wanted to know. “Or is it more like, ‘Here I am, send me?’ Is that a passive prayer of acceptance, or an active prayer of ‘Sign me up!’?”

My reader’s question is a bit tough to address because of course I believe in submitting to God’s will and accepting His plans for me. But I also need to say that although I firmly believe in God’s sovereignty, I firmly do not believe that everything that happens is God’s will. Evil is never God’s will. He is light and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5). He does not will child abuse, oppression, deception, rape, murder, or any kind of injustice. It is entirely contrary to His character. Can He redeem it? Of course! But does He will it? Never.

So if we are praying about a situation that involves any kind of evil, but the evil persists, in order to see God’s kingdom come and His will be done, we must continue to pray until either the situation changes or He tells us to stop or change the way we are praying.

Similarly, if our prayer is about something dear to us—the welfare of a child, a close friend’s health, a prodigal family member, a painful relationship—we can be sure that our concern is also dear to God. He invites us to cast our cares on Him because He cares about us (1 Peter 5:7). He tells us not to worry about anything, but to pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). So if we pray and the troubling circumstance doesn’t change, we should continue praying—unless He tells us to stop or change the way we are praying.

The Value of Persistence

God places high value on persevering prayer. Jesus teaches this in Luke 11 when He tells the disciples to “keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you” (v. 9, NLT). He says it again when He tells His disciples the parable of the persistent widow “to show them that they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1, NIV). We see it in the example of Elijah who prayed for rain seven times—even though the first six prayers didn’t bring about so much as even a tiny cloud (1 Kings 18). We see it in Job who for chapter after chapter keeps making his case with God until finally He shows up. We see it in Abraham who haggles with God over Sodom and Gomorrah until he is assured that his nephew will be saved (Genesis 18). We see it in David, Jeremiah, Habakkuk, and Zechariah who all cry out, “How long, Lord?” And in Daniel who fasts and prays for three weeks, not knowing until the angel showed up, why God had seemed to delay (Daniel 10). It seems that persevering prayer is the scriptural norm.

So what’s the bit about “Until He tells us to stop or change the way we are praying?” As most of my readers know, I believe that prayer is a two-way conversation. If it’s just monologue, we’re missing out on a lot—including the Holy Spirit’s help in knowing how to pray. God meant for prayer to be one of the primary ways we develop our relationship with Him. So He intends for us to tell Him what’s on our hearts and minds—but also intends for us to listen to what’s on His.

“Stop Praying for Physical Healing”

Several years into my husband’s battle with multiple sclerosis, I sensed the Lord inviting me to pray for his healing—until he was healed or He told me to stop. But my prayer was more than simply repeating, “please heal David.” Each time I went to God it seemed like something new was unfolding with how He wanted to take care of us, what He wanted to show us, and how He was working in our lives, even though we weren’t seeing physical improvements. My relationship with God grew and deepened more during those two or three years than it had during the sum of my Christian life up to that point.

But one day when I talked to God about my husband, I sensed Him saying clearly that I was to stop praying for David’s physical healing and focus instead on praying for his spiritual, emotional, and relational healing. I cried buckets when I heard Him say that—but it made sense to me based on the months of conversations we’d shared. So I stopped praying for physical healing, and prayed for my husband to become whole in other ways. Some of the things God did in answer to those prayers astounded me.

If I had just prayed two or three times and then passively accepted that my husband was going to die, I would have missed out on the incredible care Abba wanted to give my family and me during those hard years . It made sense for me to keep that request before God even though ultimately it wasn’t answered the way I’d hoped.

So I suppose if I have to give an answer, I’d say that I don’t really believe in passive prayer, per se. Should we accept His answers after He makes them clear? Absolutely! Should we submit our wills to what He reveals? Of course! God does sometimes choose to let me in on what He’s doing, so I’d rather keep the conversation going than assume prematurely that whatever happens (or doesn’t) is His plan.

Thanks so much for the great question! If others of you have a thought to share or a question about prayer you’ve been pondering, I’d love to hear from you.

I was talking with God recently about a person who had offended me. The offense was not deeply wounding—my toes had been stepped on and there was some money involved, but really, it wasn’t a big deal. I kept telling myself that: This is not a big deal.

But then if it wasn’t a big deal, how come I couldn’t stop thinking about it?

Eventually, when the offense kept nagging at me, I reluctantly decided to pray about it. “Reluctantly,” I say, because I was embarrassed that such a small thing could consume me so.  I wished I didn’t have to admit to God how stuck I was.

But I pulled out my journal and began telling Him exactly what so-and-so had done and how angry it made me feel. My prayer was full of justifications for why it made sense for me to feel as I did. Reading over it now, I can tell you it was neither pretty nor “spiritual.” But it was honest, and I know that God desires truth in the inner places (Ps. 51:6).

After I’d poured it all out, I gave Him a chance to reply. What He said was gentle but firm: Forgive her.

Well, that’s hardly a surprise. Of course God would tell me to forgive her. The problem was, I really didn’t want to. I wasn’t proud of that, and I sure wasn’t trying to rebel against God! But despite the fact that my head agreed with God—of course I needed to forgive!—my heart was like a two-year-old about to have a tantrum.

What’s going on, Abba? Please help me! I can’t do this without your help!

His reply was immediate: What does spite look like?

An image of a woman with a permanent scowl on her face came to mind. I recognized her as someone who all her life had inwardly nursed petty offenses while saying outwardly “It’s no big deal.” If the woman had ever been attractive, she wasn’t now because her countenance was full of resentment and spite.

Oh, Father! I don’t want to look like that! I don’t want to be like that!

I immediately realized that to choose unforgiveness was also to choose resentment and spite. They are inseparable. And they have ugly consequences.

Then Father helped me to see the peace and wholeness that could be mine if I would forgive my offender and give Jesus the hurt.  My anger started to dissipate. And soon my heart joined my head in wanting to forgive her. So I did.

And they all lived happily ever after. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that, would you? So here’s the rest of the story: thoughts of the offense still return from time to time. But never as powerfully as they did before I forgave. When the thoughts come now, I remind myself that I have forgiven and I choose peace instead of spite. I ask God for help, and before long, I am peaceful again.

Moral of the story? I can’t narrow it down to just one, so here are three:

1. Forgiveness is a spiritual power struggle which cannot be won apart from the help God offers through prayer;
2. To choose not to forgive is to invite ugly emotions to take up residence in your heart and eventually your countenance;
3. Pouring out your heart to God—even (especially?) when what’s inside isn’t pretty—is always the best thing you can do. God promises to give mercy and grace in your time of need (Heb. 4:16).

It’s hard to feel Christ’s peace and to act with His grace when the environment you’re in is full of negativity and contention. At least it’s hard for me. I recently spent a few days in that kind of relational setting, and it left me feeling like a spiritual failure. Instead of bringing light to the darkness, as I had prayed ahead of time to do, I felt as if the darkness sucked me in. I tried to pray, but my prayers only seemed to ricochet off the ceiling. God seemed a trillion miles away.

Later, when I was able to talk with God about it, I confessed my sense of defeat. Why did You seem so far away? I asked. Why was praying so hard? Why couldn’t I stay near You so I wouldn’t get taken out?

The Holy Spirit’s answer surprised me. What I think I heard Him say was, I was quiet but I never left you. I was quiet because I was grieving, too. You weren’t the only one who felt the oppression and sadness in that place. I went there with you; I felt it all, too.

It wasn’t news to me that the Holy Spirit has emotions. As a Person, He, like the rest of the godhead, feels. I knew that He can be quenched (1 Thess. 5:19) or grieved (Eph. 4:30).  But I’d never thought about Him being grieved by the same things, at the same time, as I was grieved. Who knows? Perhaps the grief I was feeling didn’t even originate with me—maybe its source was the Spirit in me!

At any rate, I felt His consolation as I pondered this idea. There is something comforting about having someone to cry with. The Holy Spirit’s grief validated the grief I was feeling. It didn’t change circumstances, but it made me realize that feeling what I was feeling (instead of peace and joy) was appropriate in God’s eyes.

I asked the Holy Spirit how to avoid missing Him when I encounter similar challenging situations in the future. Romans 8:26 came to mind: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (ESV).

I realized that I had seemed to be missing God in that situation because I’d been looking for the wrong thing. I was thinking that somehow if I were truly in step with the Him that all would seem right with the world. But the world I was in most definitely did not seem right. What the Holy Spirit seemed to be telling me was that it was not right with Him, either. Why should I think I should be feeling perfect peace when He was grieving and groaning?

I had jumped the gun. I had been trying to be content in whatever situation I found myself in (Phil 4:11)—and bypass anything that felt yucky. But that’s not how Jesus does it (e.g. Isa. 53:3, Lk. 19:41, Jn. 11:35, Heb. 5:7). And it’s not how the Holy Spirit does it. So why should I try to do it that way?

It seems that the Holy Spirit is inviting me to groan and grieve with Him when circumstances call for it. Those groans become prayers of intercession, Him praying in me, for me, and through me in my weakness. I’d rather pray prayers of joy and thanksgiving. But sometimes nights of weeping must precede mornings of joy (Ps. 30:5).

What about you? I’d love to hear from those of you who have grieved and groaned your prayers to God in the company of the Holy Spirit. What was that kind of praying like for you?

Those of us who love to pray may not find it hard to make time or find motivation to talk with God. But how do we encourage people around us who still struggle with those issues? My recent interview with Diana Kay of “Author’s Beat” explored those issues. Take a few minutes to check it out >>> http://authorsbeat.podbean.com/2012/02/01/prayer-begins-with-relationship/

On a couple of occasions recently I've been called to lead a time of corporate prayer for ministries I'm involved in that face some real challenges. Of course I asked God how He wanted the prayer times to be led—and He gave me a picture. In my mind's eye, I saw Jesus, similar to how He is described in Revelation 1, walking among these ministries. He was talking to us, sometimes smiling, putting a hand warmly on a shoulder, sometimes looking serious and concerned.

Continuing my reflection, I turned to Revelation and meditated on the first three chapters. With what I read there along with the picture God gave me, I sensed how He wanted the prayer times to be led. The format was very simple. It went like this:

Start with worship. In Revelation 1, John has a vision of Jesus that literally causes him to fall on his face. Although John was probably Jesus' closest friend on earth--intimate enough that he rested his head on Jesus' bosom--this is the glorified Jesus John is seeing now, and his response is holy fear, awe and worship. Worship is an excellent way to start a time of prayer for your church or ministry. Whatever challenges it faces, a vision of Jesus in His glory puts things into perspective. During one of our prayer times we started the worship part by singing "Holy, Holy, Holy" and then offered short prayers of praise and worship.

Thank God for the good. When our churches or ministries are going through hard times, it's easy to lose sight of what's going well. In our recent Revelation-based prayer times, we recalled that as He walked through each of the seven churches in Chapters 2 and 3, Jesus commended the good He saw there. He noticed how different churches had exhibited hard work, perseverance, faithfulness, and so on. So we asked Him to help us see the things in our fellowships that bring Him pleasure. We listened quietly for a while, then thanked Him for what the Holy Spirit brought to mind. There were some surprises--joys we'd nearly lost sight of in the midst of the more recent challenges. Being reminded of and expressing gratitude for those goodnesses gave us courage and hope.

Repent of personal sin. However, Jesus did not only commend the good. He also had things "against" the churches. When He looks at our fellowships, I'm sure He also notices where we're falling short. Often it's easy for us--okay, for me--to think the "problem" is everybody else. But guess what, I'm part of the body, and I make my contribution to its dis-ease. So in our prayer times, we allowed everyone a chance to invite the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and then confess what He revealed. Many of us confessed sins in our reactions to the problems our ministries are facing. Reactions of bitterness, detachment, discouragement, pride, anger, frustration, fear-of-man, arrogance, futility, and so on. It was really good to receive God's forgiveness for these. Doing so put is a much more humble and understanding place to move on to the next part.

Intercede for what is not going well. In each case, those of us who gathered for prayer had ideas of what we each thought was out of line. But as we prayed with this Revelation format, asking Jesu to show us what He saw, some of those ideas were adjusted, others dropped, new ones added. How Jesus saw us was not exactly how we had seen ourselves. He revealed heart attitudes, spiritual warfare, seemingly trivial actions--things we hadn't seen or considered--and led us to confess them on behalf of the body and intercede for repentance.

Close with confidence. At the end of Revelation 3, in a verse familiar to most of us, Jesus says that He is knocking at our "doors." If we will hear Him and invite Him in, He will share a meal with us--He will fellowship with us. Knowing this gives me great confidence. Whatever challenges and distress our ministires find ourselves in, Jesus is still knocking, not giving up, wanting to come in and be with us and lead us into life. So we closed our prayer times with declarations of our confidence in Him--His love, guidance, truth, help, rescue, healing, and so forth.

It's too soon to know the big-picture outcomes of our prayer times. But I do know that all of us who participated went away knowing we'd connected with Jesus, and that inspite of our struggles, He was still with us and for us and and working among us to make things right and whole. If you lead prayer for a ministry that is facing tough situations, perhaps you'd want to try leading a prayer time with the Revelation format. Let me know how it goes.

Please don’t hate me, but I’m one of those people who likes to get her Christmas shopping done early. Don’t think I’m trying to be virtuous, though—I just tend to be cranky in crowds and nobody wants to be around a Scrooge!

So, daily for a couple of weeks now, I’ve been regularly adding to and consulting a list of names of friends and family I want to give gifts to. As I think of possibilities, I write them next to the person’s name. When I actually buy the gift, I cross that entry off (with great satisfaction, I might add!)

Now in theory, we’d all say that the reason we exchange gifts is because we love our friends and family and want to show them that love in a tangible way, right? That’s certainly what I’d say. However, while I truly do love my friends and family, sometimes my annual gift-buying ritual feels more like a task to be completed than an act of genuine love.

The Lord brought all this to the surface for me Monday when I was reading a little devotional called God Calling (edited by A.J. Russell). In it the anonymous authors write that we should give to others spiritually before we give to them materially. “Give of your prayers, your time, yourselves, your love, your thought. Practice giving this first.” Then, and only then, they continue, should we venture to give material gifts.

Hmmm. I felt both the Lord’s conviction and invitation in those words. He reminded me that it’s not sacrifices and offerings that bring Him pleasure, but my love, my heart open to Him. He cares more about my friendship with Him than He does my “stuff.” Why should the people I want to share gifts with feel any different? So many of the material gifts I give get forgotten in closets, on shelves, or—gasp!—they may even be re-gifted! But my prayers, love, time, thoughts—those gifts deepen relationships. They are gifts that really last.

I looked over my gift list. There are names of people there that I willingly spend money on, but, I hate to admit, I’ve not spent much time praying for. So, that’s going to change this year. Now, my gift list has moved into my prayer corner where I talk to God each morning. As I add to and cross off that list, it will double as a prayer list so that I can also give the gift of prayer for all those people I care about. And when I think about it, that gift is more valuable than anything I can get them from the mall or Amazon!

Until very recently I haven't been very excited about texting. But that's changed. A few weeks ago NavPress was offered the opportunity to turn prayer cards, scriptures from The Message, material from archived Pray! and Discipleship Journal articles, and other NavPress resources into inspirational Christian text message subscriptions. Even I, a Luddite (if you don't know who the Luddites were, check them out at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luddite) could see the value of this incredible use of technology.

It's very simple. You go to a website, pick out the topic you'd like to receive prayers, Scriptures, or inspiration about, pay $5, say what time of day you would like your text messages to come (for instance, during your morning quiet time or commute, over you lunch hour, in the evening before bed) and the for the next 30 or 40 days an inspirational text will come directly to your phone. You can also subscribe to a set of topical text devotionals for a friend, the kids in your youth group, your grandkids, or whomever you know who enjoys texting.

Many of the prayers are taken from the popular Pray! prayer cards, such "Scriptural Prayers for the Seriously Ill." If you have a friend who is undergoing cancer treatment (for example) you might subscribe to this set of 30 texts and in that way get a daily prayer prompt to help you pray for that friend.

Or suppose you struggle with fear. You might subscribe to "30 Fear-Bashing Scriptures" (taken from The Message) and each day for the next month you will receive a daily text with biblical encouragement such as, "God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom. God-of-Angel-Armies protects us (Ps 46:1)."

Cool, huh? Cool enough that this text-avoider just signed up for a texting plan through her cell phone company. If I'm that excited about it--just imagine how it might jazz the young people you know. Check it out at www.greatertexting.com and let me know what you think.

Once while eating at a restaurant, my friend Sandra prayed aloud a prayer that influenced how I see dining. From a liturgical background, she found “winging” it in prayer a different experience. But looking at our appetizing Cobb salads, she dived in: “Thank you, God, for the people who planted this lettuce. [Pause. I pictured farm workers in the beautiful Salinas Valley John Steinbeck made famous.] Thank you for the soil and rain that helped it grow. [Pause. I could picture that.] Thank you for the people who picked it. [Pause. I began thinking about how farm workers in California used to have to use a short handled scythe and hands got cut off. So I’m thanking God for tools and farm labor laws.] Thank you for the people who packaged it. [Pause. I picture women in packing houses wearing hairnets.] Thank you for the grocer who set it out for someone to buy. [I thought about our Hispanic produce manager who chooses such good quality produce.] Thank you for the server. [Pause. I reminded myself to find out that young man’s name so I could call him by name.] Amen.When I opened my eyes, the salad looked very different. I saw that a lot of people had served me well. I was thankful. I’ve since prayed in the manner she did many times because it reminds me of the simple yet intricate way that food comes to us on our table."

Some people seem surprised when I tell them that I did not come out of the chute praying. But it’s true. I do not have a spiritual gift for prayer and intercession. I’m just a very ordinary Christian who has a desperate need for genuine, personal relationship with God—a longing that has continued to propel me along in my journey in prayer. Much of what I write, teach, and speak about comes from my experiences along the way in getting to know God through prayer.

What follows is an excerpt from my new Bible study, Prayer Begins with Relationship that released this month. In it, I share a bit about how I have learned—and continue to learn—to practice the presence of God by talking to Him throughout the day in all the details, big and small.

***
For many years, I prayed primarily at set times: morning quiet time, before meals, with my husband before bed, and with fellow church members at services and functions. I did not often talk to God spontaneously, and I did not include Him in much of my ordinary life. Sure, I remembered to bring the “big things” to Him, but the little, daily stuff? I pretty much handled it on my own. It never occurred to me I could talk to God about it.

Since coming to understand some of the concepts I’ve shared in [the lessons in Prayer Begins with Relationship], my prayer life—and consequently my everyday relationship with God—has become more vibrant, exciting, and satisfying. Here are just a few  examples:

• Knowing God wants a reciprocating friendship with me encourages me to take all kinds of things to Him and depend on Him for support. For instance, yesterday I had to make a phone call to someone who is going through a hard time and who is bristly as a result. Before I picked up the phone, I asked God for His input. I sensed Him steering me toward a specific focus and away from things I might ordinarily say. The phone call went unusually well—and knowing He was present with me as I made the call comforted me too.

• Because I know God wants to engage me in two-way dialogue, I’m learning to pay attention to the thoughts that cross my mind so I don’t miss conversations He wants to initiate. Just this morning while I was brushing my teeth before heading to a ministry-team meeting, the names of three people on the team popped into my head. In the past I would have dismissed it as a random, irrelevant thought. But now I asked Him if there was anything He wanted me to know about these people. As we interacted, I heard more details about a specific need they had. So I asked God for confirmation: “If this is really You, would You please bring up the need at our meeting?” He did—through another person. So I knew I was supposed to share and follow through on what He’d said to me earlier. It was exciting to be included in His plan for caring for the folks whose names He brought to mind. I love having Him talk to me!

For most people, connecting with God in dynamic, relational conversation is a process—usually a life-long journey. Don’t expect to jump from brief prayers of intercession to constant conversation with God (I’m certainly not there!). You will most likely experience a gradual deepening of your relationship as new discoveries and joys are added slowly but surely along the way. To get you started, read the ideas below and select one or two you would like to incorporate into your daily life.

____ As you begin your day, talk to God about what you think it will hold. What do you look forward to? What do you think will be hard or uncomfortable? Where do you especially need His help or encouragement? Ask Him to remind you to check in with Him as each of these things comes up during the day—and during the unanticipated events as well.

____ When you read your Bible, expect God to speak to you personally. Listen for His words of personalized encouragement and affirmation, or for fresh discoveries of what He is like and how He wants to relate to you.

____ Picture Jesus with you at your job, home, or wherever you spend most of your day. Think about how close He is and how He wants to help, guide, and encourage you—and just be near you because He loves you.

____ Ask God for help at the beginning of projects and undertakings throughout the day, whether large or small.

____ Talk to God while you’re driving or walking. Tell Him what you see; include Him in what you are thinking about.

____ Pay attention to the “random” thoughts that pass through your mind. The song, person, idea, word, Scripture verse, affirmation, or warning that comes to you may be God speaking to you and inviting your response.

____ When you are praying for someone or something, be sure to interrupt yourself and ask God what He’d like for that person or situation.

____ If you mess up, tell Jesus about it right away. Know that He understands and forgives you. Picture Him looking into your eyes with love, forgiveness, and acceptance.

____ When you see something beautiful or experience something that gives you joy, express your delight to Him.

____ Brainstorm with God. When you need wise and creative ideas, tell Him your question or challenge, then take a sheet of paper and write down what comes to mind.

____ Ask God to help you become more aware of your emotions. When you are feeling anxious, fearful, distressed, confused, embarrassed, upset, lonely (or experience some other uncomfortable feeling), share your heart with Him and ask Him to tangibly meet and care for you.

____ When you are with other people, consciously remember that God is there too. As you interact with others, also listen to God and invite Him to help you know what to do and say.

____ Before bed, review your day with God. Tell Him what was enjoyable and satisfying, as well as what was hard or discouraging. Consider how He might respond to what you share.

At the end of each day, reflect on where you and God kept company that day. You may want to write these in a journal so you can watch how your relationship deepens and develops in the days and weeks to come. Talk to God about what you did together that day and express your desires for the way you’ll practice His presence tomorrow.

Finally, celebrate each deepening of your connection with God, knowing that He is celebrating too!

--Cynthia Bezek

"That doesn’t mean that promoting the rapid discovery and retrieval of information is bad. It’s not. The development of a well-rounded mind requires both an ability to find and quickly parse a wide range of information and a capacity for open-ended reflection. There needs to be time for efficient data collection and time for inefficient contemplation, time to operate the machine and time to sit idly in the garden. We need to work in Google’s “world of numbers,” but we also need to be able to retreat to Sleepy Hollow. The problem today is that we’re losing our ability to strike a balance between those two very different states of mind. Mentally, we’re in perpetual locomotion." (p. 168)